The story of Prince Reuben (39)

The story of Prince Reuben

imagine once upon a time there was a guy named prince reuben who decided that there had to be some other idea for a successful human existence other than loving the love god, the holy spirit. he felt that he could come up with an idea in which he could be the God. he rebelled against god. he had hubris, he felt that it was belittleing to himself that the only way he could exist was by worshiping the willie wonking love god.

the love god tried to explain to prince reuben that whatever other idea he had would fail, but he just didn't get it. so he set about allying himself with the people who had been banished to hell because of their unwillingness ot love the love god. he decided to organize a rebellion against the love god. but then things didnt go so well so reuben and his minions had a pretty disasterous time of things, and they battled for a long time. finally reuben and god made a deal. god said, look, lets have a world that YOU get to come up with . its your world, you can make it however you want, and you can invite as many people into it as you want.; i bet it will turn into hell.

and part of the deal was that it was agreed that god would invent a person to be his son and that this person would have 144,000 supporters. these people could live as they will just like everyone else. but the reason for the son and his 144,000 allies would be to save everyone else once prince reuben's world failed.

so reuben decides that he will try to overwhelm the 144,000 by inviting 6 billion people who were happy to be a part of his idea of a mortal world with shame, phobias and taboos. these are the orcs from lord of the rings.

but of course the lovers are more powerful than the shame people, no matter how outnumbered they are. so in the end, the son of god has his awakening, establishes his kingdom of heaven on earth, and all of the people who came to be a part of reuben's world are given a chance to be saved from the error of reuben's idea of a world other than a world in which everyone loves the love god.

basically this world was invented to resolve this conflict between prince reuben (AKA lucifer, satan, adam) and the love god and his allies. there were only a very small number of people on the love god's side (a handful) and many fallen angels allied with the dark prince reuben.

so almost everyone in this world came in wanting to be a part not of the love gods idea of worpshiping the source of everything that exists, but rather to live in a free-for-all world in which men can invent whatever they want to be. of course that idea is a disaster. the lesson for everyone is that there is only ONE thing that works, and its loving the holy spirit;

hopefully most of the people who thought they liked prince reuben's idea better will realize the folly of that idea. those that dont accept the truth will end up in the Hell that ANYONE ends up in who does not realize and conform to the truth that without a love relationship with the love god, any existence turns into hell. so anyone who came into this world to exist as reuben intended is doomed unless they renounce that path and get with the program that works.

its not that the love god angrily sends bad people to hell, he has no choice. people who refuse to know and love him are condemning THEMSELVES to hell. he tries to save as many as he can. he is pure love, but people who reject his love are responsible for their own existence.

there is a god who is capable of bestowing human beings with an eternitity in which all of their dreams and wishes will be fulfilled. how could ANYONE say no to that? but they will, and they will lament their mistake forever. and they will curse prince reuben, their leader, for inviting them into a world doomed to fail. hubris is a deadly sin if there ever was one.

and so is the attachment to shame.

so get ready to learn to love the love god. you will be so happy you did when you the wailing and gnashing of teeth of the one's who failed to say yes to love begins.

loving the love god is teh ONLY idea that will ever work. if you had a will to exist in any other sort of human existence, your idea was as bad as prince reuben's. whatever idea of yourself that you have other than being the lover of hte love god is an idea that, if you do not give it up, will doom you to hell.

its not the love god's fault. it is the fault of people who defy him, who deny him, who attempt to thwart him, who wish things were some other way. it is the fault of the people who have ideas that are doomed to fail. hopefully you will understand. hopefully you will allow yourself to become what you were designed to be.

to be a lover of a willie wonka

May 3 (wee hours)

jesus said something about loving the lord thy god will all of your heart. so what does that mean? what does it feel like to love god with all of your heart/ i wonder why no one ever asks that? i mean all of these hundreds of millions of christians., all of whom know that jesus said that in order to be in heaven with him you had to love god with all of your heart. yet i wonder how many pastors have parishoners who ask them HOW to love god. or how to know god for that matter. all of these people talk about god all day long, but none of them have a clue who god is. who has ever wondered what he's like, how HE wants to be loved? who has inquired of their pastor with true sincerity, what does my god want from me? how much humility will the typical "southern man" need to muster to not only be able to ask that, but then to hear the true answer and actually oblige the god! wow, its difficult to imagine how southern man is going to get over his disease of aversion to love. i mean, its just amazing to think of some fag-beater hearing that god wants him to be his lover and masturbate with him.

by definition no mortal man loves god with all of his heart. that's an oxymoron, because to love god with all of your heart is to become immortal. two thousand years of christianity, and only one person found their way to knowing and loving god, but that's me and i am the source of christianity. in other words, other than me no one has found what it means to love god. and within 7 years any man who wants to be in heaven must learn something that no man has learned thus far.

its hidden behind your shame boys. you are a character in an erotic fantasy. love is love. love is what everything is made of. love is goodness. life is goodness. life is love, love is erotic, you are erotic, god is erotic, goodness is erotic. get over it!!!! the feeling of erotic arousal is the feeling of the holy spirit, the god of gods, the perfect master, the lord of lords. he WANTS us to feel him, he wants us to be one with him.

so there's volumes and volumes that have been written about god. i mean thousands of books. but none of them tell us what it means to love god......, and so then there's this guy named Roald Dahl. Well that Roald was quite an eccentric character, he got some kind of a bonk on the head sometime in his life, and then he wrote this wonderful book called CHarlie and the CHocolate factory. and in that story (it's an allegory in case you haven't heard yet) the person who plays the part of god is named Willie Wonka. Now, people are always talking about the name of god. jehovah, yahweh, allah, all these ideas people have about the god's actual name. *(and then there are those who think his name is god, which of course it could be, but it somehow doesnt seem to fit my image of him, its just an odd sounding name. God. but i dunno, maybe that's it, not absolutely sure yet, but if i had to bet i'd say no, his name isnt god. . ) a god is what he is, but i dont think his actual name is god. i mean there must be a person in the world named person, and i would imagine there are a few pet owners who have named their cat "cat" or their dog "dog" but this is the exception not the norm.

but willie wonka, now you're talkin'! i mean that's a name that fits really well. a bit self-descriptive, it gets down to the essence of who he is, but it's poetic, it has a nice ring to it, it's just cryptic enough to be devious and yet its also perfectly obvious at the same time. willie wonka. yes.

because that wonderful magnificent loving god of ours has this way of loving that is the way that a human being (which is what he is) really loves when he gets rid of that disease called shame.

what does it mean to love god? what does it mean to love a willie wanker? how many willies will a willie wonka wonka if a willie wonka will wonk willies? i dunno, as many as he can. he will wonk your willie if you let him. that's what a lover of god is. someone who wonks willie wonka's willie and who lets willie wonka wonk his willie.

need any more be said than what is said by roald dahl's naming of his god character? i would have to say those two words as the name of the god character says more about something of the utmost importance, and says it with less, than just about anything anyone has ever said in any book ever written. i mean, it's stunning, really. and amazingly enough, i am probably the only person ever to make note of the incredibly obvious implications of this name. amazing.

i believe that after "the big bang" all of the wealth is going to be coming here, and USA and the rest of the world are going to be bankrupt. "some people are taking pure bullshit, and turnin' it into gold." israel is going to own everything. every ounce of gold.

May 2

thoughts on my declaration of independence

In this week's edition of the Seattle Weekly I am publishing a Declaration of Independence for a new Nation that I am calling New Israel. I believe that this is the most important of all of the statements I have published, and possibly the event that will trigger the events of the end times that obviously the establishment of this new nation would be a major part of. it seems quite plausible to me that things will explode in the coming week (though i have been saying that intermittently since november.) i think jesus said in the bible that only the father knows when the end times will begin.

On his Greendale album NY says that Sun Green is working on two homework assignments, a "book report" on a book called "how to use the media" and as essay on saving the Alaska wilderness. I believe that these refer to me and my "homework" of using the media to express my thoughts and experiences, and with respect to the essay on saving the wilderness, i believe that this refers specifically to the declaration of independence that i am now making.

certainly the timing would be perfect with respect to NY's farm aid prophecy and with my own journey.

Perhaps we shall soon find out. It's obvious to me that the sequel to charlie and the chocolate factory, charlie and the great glass elevator, is a story that was written specifically about and for me and pertains to this time between realizing that this story pertains to me and the moment when the christ explodes onto the scene. CHarlie and CO. get picked up outside the gates of the chocolate factory by a helecopter that takes them to the white HOuse. interesting that in Greendale sun green flies on the back of an eagle to a large city and appears welded to the beak of an bronze eagle yelling about revolution, challenging lies and injustice and making a huge scene that changes the world.

so anyway, some people know that last thanksgiving weekend i was expecting a helecopter to land outside of the gates of my chocolate factory/temple. well it hasnt happend yet. curiously, the last words in that story are about what "a long day" it had been when they were picked up. that suggests that the arrival of the helecopter would be delayed longer than i had expected. mention the word helecopter and people automatically assume that i'm out of my mind, but even today, five months later, i still expect this to occur. of course there were many many things that had not yet occured at that time. I had not even heard greendale or figured out that neil young is my father. at that moment in time i was under the mistaken impression that the person who i believe is both abraham and satan, "prince reuben," was the Father. so obviously it was not yet time for things to happen.

now that i have declared a new nation and myself as its first citizen- a new nation that would fulfill biblical prophecy, it seems like the landing of a helecopter outside the factory gates is not such a wild fantasy. If pontifex maximus is waiting for this declaration to be made, then perhaps as soon as the paper hits the street i will indeed be picked up and taken to the white house. so maybe the world will soon know that i am not insane.

May 1

the christ on Darwin: Darwin was right!

Nothing succeeds like love. Nothing fails like hatred. Seperate the lovers from the haters and you have two worlds, one called Heaven, the other called Hell.

People think nice guys finish last, but they could not possibly be more wrong.

Here is something. The Christ would like to chime in on the subject of the theories of Charles Darwin. Insofar as what he says matters and pertains to the human race, Charles Darwin was absolutely correct: Those most fit for survival are the ones that do survive. The laws of evolution are indeed at work, but not without a presence of the hand of god. The human race is in a process of evolution into something entirely different. But this process is somewhat like plate techtonics, a lot of pressure builds before the big quake occurs. There's a sort of pent up energy of evolution that is about to be released. I've heard that some Darwinists now believe that "natural selection" works in such a way that the process of speciation occurs in jumps, not in a continuous process of minute adaptations. Well, once again, this applies to the human race as it is true in that the process of selection will occur suddenly. Evidence of the pent up tectonic energy is largely invisible to the people of this world, but it is most certainly there, and it is going to be released at any moment.

So who are the human beings most fit to survive and who are the human beings who will be weeded out? Or I could ask, what traits will emerge as the surviving traits and what traits will be eliminated from our kind? What distinctions could be made between sets of people who have different traits, some of which are going to carry on, and some of which are going to be eliminated?

There is one trait in particular that is the key to successful human existeence, and another human trait that is the one's counterpart that will inevitably lead to failed human existence. The human race can be divided into two groups. One of these groups is about to carry on, and the other is going to be destroyed.

The group that is going to be victorious is the group that says "yes" to men loving one another. The group that is going to be vanquished is the group that says "no" to men loving one another. Thus the natural selection process will bring the loving members of the human race into a realm of existence capable of survival in the long run.

This situaiton could never be openly discussed in this world until now. As Bob Dylan said, "this world is not ruled by love, it is ruled by violence, but this is better left unsaid." Bob Dylan knows what is going on in this world. The truth could not be said because as soon as the haters realize the truth of this its hard to imagine why they would choose to be civil any longer. Fascism is required, and secrecy is required. Because the good intend to survive, and the good will use whatever methods that are at their disposal in order to survive and be victorious. Nature doesn't follow any rules other than its own, and the rule in nature is that the fit survive by developing whatever traits are required in order to survive. Fascism and rule by secrecy and violence are exactly the survival traits that the good have developed.

If the world could be divided into two groups that would henceforth be kept seperate from one another, what would be the characteristics of the groups you would define? And which one would you be in?

Like would you seperate people by race, by religion, by sexual orientation, by size or weight, by political philospophy, by musical preference? Think about it. If you had the power to take some group of people with you who could be defined as having some specific characteristic in common, and leave everyone else behind, how would you define your group?

Here is my answer to this question: I would go with the group of people who would all agree to be lovers with and marry the person who was smart enough to know that this was the only solution. This is what will happen. Everyone who will love and marry the Christ will leave this fallen world to those who will not. This is the tribe that succeeds. The other is the tribe that fails. The lovers are victorious and the haters are their victims.

gods and men, what is the differnce?* *

A god is what a man becomes when he realizes what he is.

A god is what a man becomes when he learns what life is.

A god is what a man becomes when he allows himself to love.

A god is what a man becomes when he learns to love other men.

A demon is what a man becomes when he fails to become a god.

There is not one god, there are many gods, just as there are many demons. There is one god who invented this world, but he is one of many gods inventing many worlds. These gods are all like men, except for one all-important characteristic. They love one another. The gods love one another and they succeed in ruling over everything that exists.

Gods live in a realm called Heaven. It's a happy place. You can come there if you want, but you cannot bring hatred, fear, shamre, phobias, taboos, aversions, etc., with you. You have to give all of that up and become the lover that you really are.

Men who have hatred hate the gods who do not have hatred. ANd if you hate the gods, you certainly won't want to be with them in their Heaven. And so you will go with the other haters to Hell. Because when the Good leave, when the Lovers leave, it IS Hell. Hell is just what you call ANY realm of human existence in which live men who do not love one another.

Really all of existence is a struggle for dominance between gods and demons, a large part of which takes place in the stage called humanity in which men are ignorant that they are in teh process of becoming either a god or a demon.

Now is the moment when men will be given the choice to become gods. And those who do not choose to become gods will automatically become demons. And thus the big wheel of Creation turns and turns eternally. Creating infinite numbers of gods and demons. And existence being what it is, somehow it seems the big wheel turns out more demons than gods. It's just the way it is. The few attain Heaven, the many spend eternity tormenting one another and wishing they didn't exist.

Gods love one another. And who is going to stand up and tell the world how the love between gods is limited by phobias and taboos? I dare anyone to assert their belief that gods do not love one another! The rules of the mortal world of ignorant men are a lot different from the rules in Heaven. Adam and Cain are the rulers of the world. Satan is the one who says men should not love one another. You might think God doesnt like men loving one another, but if so you are so ignorant it's not even funny, because you are going to burn in hell forever if you clinjg to this idea, because you sure as hell are not going to want to be in a heaven in which the Gods are all lovers with one another.

IF the BIble does indicate that the Creator doesnt want mortal men being lovers with one another its because he doesnt like the thought of men who are ignorant of what they are doing what teh gods in Heaven do. I'm willing to admit that it is possible that homosexual mortal men are a turn-off for the Creator. But the God NEVER said that men should hate one another. He never said that they should persecute one another. Nor did he ever say that in Heaven the rules are the same as on Earth. If you've talked yourself into having an extreme aversion to the idea of male human beings loving one another, then I am afraid to say that you may be missing the boat to Heaven. You are finished and the rest of your eternity is not going to be fun at all. Of course there is still time for a major reversal of your attitude, but if you don't already feel an urgent sense of the necessity for such a reversal growing strong within yourself, then I would have to say you are going to be among those wailing and gnashing their teeth very soon. Because you are choosing an eternity among men who do not love one another and who do not live under a system of fascism controlled by those who know that without fascism men who do not love one another quickly turn a world into Hell.

Fascism is God's gift to a world of men who do not love one another. when the men who do love one another and who have been controlling the world with fascism in order to keep it from becoming hell pull out any day now, this world BECOMES hell instantaniously.

pontifex maximus

Here is an amazing truth: The son of god, the CHrist, is lovers with pontifex maximus, the black pope who has been ruling this world since before the christ, and who probably ordered the crucifixion of the christ. Pontifex Maximus could have been pontius pilate or the person who gave orders to Pilate instructing him to allow the citizens of jerusalem to make the decision to crucify jesus. (it would not surprise me if pontifex maximus is not a big fan of the jewish people as a whole, which relates to my having said that i would not be surprised if hitler was either pontifex maximus himself or someone taking orders from him.) Imagine that, I am saying that i have no problem believing that its possible the christ is the lover of the guy who gave orders to have him crucified and/or of the guy who is generally considered to be the most evil person who ever lived.

If you were pontifex maximus and knew that the only thing keeping the world from already being Hell was the fascist empire that you controlled, if you knew that without your rule everyone would already be in Hell, then there would be no problem committing attrocities along the way that were necessary so that the good could eventually have Heaven. It would be perfectly natural. Because suvivial of the fittest is the law of NATURE, and this would just be a natural survival strategy. And thus the world has been turning for the past six thousand years.

I can see the very real possibility that zionism and the establishment of Israel, as we think of it it in this world of ignorance, is a set up orchestrated by ponitfex maximus who may also be the person responsible for the nazi holocaust. Intersting that the number of people living today in Israel is about the same as the number who were exterminated by the third rieich. It makes me wonder if somehow, in spite of many christians' and jews' belief that the jews are the chosen people of god (they were, back when the descendants of Isaac and Jacob (Israel) numbered 144,000), consists of many people who are actually working against the plans of god, people like the Riddler who is probably a reincarnation of one of the temple preists who conspired to have jesus crucified. i happen to believe that the riddler, the guy with the song, "we are all one in our differences" and several other people who advocated for my imprisonment in teh mental health system are the reincarnations of the temple preists and others who conspired to have jesus crucified. These include certain characters who i believe may be represented by the batman villians. Its possible that the enemies of god believed that the safest place for them in this world would be to incarnate as jews. if this were the case, it would suggest what i am saying about the holocaust and zionism. i believe that jewry and judaism have been infiltrated by agents of Allah and Satan, and that the efforts to usurp the Creator's plan have been carried out in this world by people who are disproportionately jewish. Take the BS artist reuben (satan) for example, he is a jew. such a reality would explain both the holocaust and the fact that there are another seven million jews situated today in Israel in such a way as to be vulnerable to annihilation.

the true chosen people of god were teh 144,000 who came into this world in support of abel. period. being the biological descendant of jacob does not mean anything to god if you came into this world to serve cain.

IT'S ALL ABOUT MEN AND WHETHER OR NOT THEY LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND THEIR GOD. I pity those who refuse to accept the truth that a world of men who fail to love one another itself fails. The Love between the male human beings called gods sustains all good universes, and those who reject love fall into the abyss of a bad universe invented by the proponent of patriarchy, homophobia and the incest taboo, Prince Reuben, also known as Satan.

so here is how i think the world gets cast, as in who the cast of characters are and where they came from: First there were abel and cain, the christ and the antichrist. Abel is this guy who does a lot of drugs, masturbates, gets killed a few times, including by his brother, gets crucified after claiming to be a king, then later on makes a total ass out of himself saying he is his fathers lover, promoting freedom from all taboos and phobias, who takes out newspaper ads to say that he loves to "wonk the willie" of the Creator, etc. and in the end he proposes marriage to anyone and everyone who wants to be in his world with him.

and there is cain, who wants to make the trains run on time, who wants to be the ruler of a world in which everyones' anuses are clean and spiffy, in which everyone obeys all of the rules that keep cain in power, etc. cain is portray as being a strong and efficient leader of men who require leadership. he is going to rule the world and he will reward those who are loyal to him/.

OK. so then every soul who wants to come into this world and exist as a man gets to choose whether to be aligned with abel or cain. and the stipulation is that when 144,000 people have chosen to align themselves with abel thats it, the casting call is completed. And so by the time 144,000 people have said they want to be aligned with abel, there are billions who have chosen cain. (maybe this is why pontifex maxiumus has a no-population control policy, because there are a lot of orcs awaiting their chance to live in this world and they all need a chance to show their stuff and so be judged.) and thus proceeds the saga of the struggle between god and his lover and son abel on one side, and satan and his son Cain on the other. ANd the rest is called History. and that history is told in the lord of the rings. there are a lot of orcs. and yet god and his son abel their meager forces of 144,000 are indeed victorious, and cain and those of his minions who don't see the errors of their ways and turn themselves around and beg forgiveness, go down into the eternal abode of the damned.

its just so amazing to think of how protestantism has become the satanic religion that it is, with its emphasis on judgment and hatred. whatever it takes to control and hypnotize the haters. all those people who go on about being "anointed" by god, whatever the hell that means, like all you have to do to be in heaven is to proclaim yourself anointed by god, are all heading for hell, and i doubt if many will change course when the truth is revealed. all those people like robertson an falwell who preach hatred are rreally just taking orders from pontefex maximus, as part of his overall system of doing what it takes for the lovers to survive and outlast the haters.... nice guys do finish last in this sense of the word "last."

that's some serious gnashing of teeth that is going to be going on among the fag-hating crowd of Southern Men who worship Satan and call him "God." the second they see that heaven is full of gods who love to love one another those men are going to fall into a more profound state of depression and anguish than you can possibly imagine. Poor Prince Reuben has got to feel like quite an arse, having promised something so much better than the eternity of mutual torment in the world that he talked them into believing in.

April 26

I've been working on a declation of independence. i am going to post the working draft here on my site now. declaration

2:45 AM The Almighty Creator of this Universe's plan has been the same from the beginning; with respect to men, the purpose of human life is for men to enjoy an ecstatic erotic relationship with their Creator, all together in a community of pure love. The Temple is the place where this is intended to take place. a race of human beings whose men do this is guaranteed to thrive and endure. a human race whose men do not do this is guaranteed to fail.

In other words, the purpose of male human beings, as far as the creator of this universe is concerned, is to have and enjoy the ultimate experience of ecstasy together as a family of lovers. The Creator has no use for men who are not willing to participate in the the fulfillment of his idea for why anything exists at all. Those who refuse to accept the truth of what human life is intended to be will be doomed to an existence of pure suffering, anguish and desolation. there is no realm of happiness for people who refuse to accept the truth of what they are.

True enlightenment and Knowledge of the Nature of Reality and initiation into the experience of being lovers with the Creator -the Holy Spirit- is intended by the Creator to be a rite of passage facilitated in each boys life, when he reaches the appropriate age, by his own father.

The method of transmission of this experience is intended, by the Creator, to be engagement of father and son in an erotic relationship involving masturbation -which, by the very nature of how a human being is designed serves as the most powerful meditation practice possible - through which the son is brought into an awareness of the presence of the holy spirit within the intensely erotic and love-filled experience he is having with his father. The love of the father leads the son into the love of the God.

This IS the eternal Holy Trinity, the father, the son, and the holy spirit. and yes, you better beleive that some people will attack me, my father and the holy spirit, along with the roman catholic church that supports this truth, of being a bunch of pedophiles. and thus a large portion of humanity is likely to go down in flames as a result of rejecting the very truth of why humankind ever existed in the first place.

All that it takes to understand what I am saying is to consider that there is no reason whatsoever for the Almighty Creator or his children to be ashamed of experiencing pleasure together in the perfect ways that their bodies were designed to enjoy the exquisite pleasures of love. Why would a God who is Love have phobias and taboos around Love of all things??? what an absurd proposition to assume that God is homophobic!!! what sickness would lead a whole religion followed by tens of millions of people into an insistence that God hates men who love one another???? the answer to that question is simple. the sickness that would lead people into following such a diseased religion is called SHAME.

This experience of which i speak is a profound meditation into the here and now, into the feeling within a man's own body of the powerful love energy that is the source of everything that exists. This is meditation in the ABSOLUTELY truest sense of the word, a meditation into the inifite majesty of what the here and now actually consists of, the stuff of consciousness itself. The stuff from which everything is made is a tremendous ocean of love generated by the experience that I am describing in a feedback loop of love in a realm of shared consciousness, between the Holy SPirit and all of the fathers and sons in Heaven together. I am talking about an experience of virtually unlimited and joy-filled ecstasy. I am talking about the way things are in the Kingdom of Heaven, where I expect to be united with my father and lover very soon.

I am talking about what is possible in the ecstasy that lies beyond the point where men can no longer tolerate the experience of ecstasy and have the spasms of fear of the unknown that is aften called "male orgasm" but that is more accurately refered to as "ejaculation" which sounds close enough to "evacuation" to seem appropriate. ejaculaiton is a bailing out of the experience of ecstasy when the man becomes overwhelmed with a sense of not knowing what it is that he is experiencing. once you realize that the sensation is just the sensation of love between fathers sons and the holy spirit, the orgasm reflex retreats, allowing the man to experience previously unimaginable ecstasy.

april 25

so, i wonder if anyone would even bother to ask me why i say this father son relationship is so important.. i mean, it's one of those questions that you would THINK someone would ask me. i mean, it would a big deal if i were correct about this; if we've majorly missed the boat in something so essential as the father-son relationship, if we're committing an omission rendering all men unfulfilled, then wouldn't that be something human beings would want to know about and correct????

so here's the answer to this one among so many questions that not one single person on planet earth is asking me, dsespite its monumentally huge implications. it's likely that no one will even acknowledge the incredible brilliance and significance of what i have to say here in this entry, an articulation of what, if true, has to be the most important revelation to the human race in its entire history.

a man - and this may be true to a lesser degree for women as well, but certainly it is for men - a man is a stage of the process of a male human being becoming what it is, which is an immortal and enlightened being. this mortal existence is not the life, it is the lead-up to the life. it is the time of preparing to begin life. it is a stage of existence during which the male human being does not yet know what it means to exist, nor whether it is safe to allow oneself to fully come into existence.

the orgasm reflex is a profound spasm of doubt as to whether or not it is safe to exist in the vulnerable state of consciousness into which erotic ecstasy leads a man. this is WHY men have orgasms. it is a very physical manifestion of a profound metaphysical uncertainty regarding the safety or lack thereof of allowing oneself to fully come into consciousness, which is a process that proceeds most fully and intensely in the experiene of erotic arousal. this uncertainty regarding the safety of existence by nature becomes most accute in the experience of erotic arousal which is why the orgasm reflex is normally induced only during sexual stimulation.

this situation begs this question: since degrees of erotic arousal are a continuum, and since there is no known limit to the degree of ecstasy that a man COULD otherwise experience if he did not have an orgasm limiting the amount of ecstasy he is experiencing, what would the experience be like beyond the point of male orgasm? what would the experience be like in the absense of the uncertainty about whether it is OK to have the experience? what would it be like if we could surrender completely into HAVING the experience, instead of questoning the experience? what sort of experiences are men NOT having because of the orgasm reflex? what sort of experiences are women not having because Men do not know what they are made of?

ladies and gentlemen, the implications of the questions i have just posited are nothing short of astronomical. the difference between mortality and immortality, between joy and misery, is the essential thing we are talking about here.

the experience that men can and do have in this realm of ecstasy is telepathic communication with one another. mortal men's love organ is numb, it's like the phallus has not yet fully awakened into being. this is something that happens as a rite of passage. it is not automative. a boy has to be lovingly lead by his father into the experience of being what a man is. the father is the natural person to lead his son through this experience of awakening into knowing what a man is.

the potential of men's love organ is so much more powerful and important than mortal men are willing to admit. men just haven't yet become what they are, and their relationship with their phallus is central to this incompleteness. it is possible and intended for men to have ecstatic experiences of oneness with other men with whom they have a loving relationship when two or more men who have attained enlightenment are simultaniously engaged in masturbation. it is the father who teaches this experience to his son.

enlightenment: no one has ever attained it who has not had an erotic relationship with an already enlightened father figure of some sort.

men have a capacity to communicate and to consciously open themselves to a sharing the feelings of ecstasy with others in a telepathic way. this is a feedback loop of joy and ecstasy in this experience that is quite extreme in its intesity, far beyond what men in this world have experienced. a man can KNOW he is sensing the presence of certain other men in a sort of common feeling in their phalluses such that it is a feeling of oneness, as if there was only ONE phallus that everyone was sharing., this experience is possible whehter the men involved are in close proximity or at a distance. i am saying i am having this experience with people i have never met or communicated with in my life and that these people will confirm what i am saying about this experience.

this is a very incredible things happening here, because the truth about the father son relaitnship is so explosive that, it in order for this experience to be spoken of in a way that anyone at all will pay attention, has to become a miraculous event involving men who have never spoken with one another sharing this experience and speaking of it publicly in a way that totally defies shame. i believe this will occur very soon.

i KNOW beyond any doubt of the truth of that about which i speak, and therefore i have no aversion whatsoever to going out as far as i have to go on a limb in order to perform the miracle that is being performed here by me, all by myself, saying the most important things anyone has ever said, without input from anyone, and then having these statements validated in an assertive way by others who i have miraculously named as the other members of the holy trinity..

It is in this radar love experience that i've divulged here that lies the potential for fathers to carry their sons into a faithful surrender into existence itself. BY masturbating in a shared experience of love with one another together, the son can feel the confident presence of his father in this experience and so be faithful in surrendering into it. of course it wouldn't HAVE to be the boy's father, but this is the natural way that things would go. fathers would have a son in ORDER to share this ecstatic experience of radar love with his son. its not a responsibility that a father would want to pass off to anyone, but that he would naturally want to enjoy himself. this is how those men who chose it will attain the experience of immortality very soon. they will masturbate with the father, the son, the holy spirit and their 144,000 lovers. they will find faith, allowing a surreder into the ecstasy of god-realization, and fulfill the very beautiful purpose of life. and the love between the men that results will be the most radically incredible transformative event in the history of the world. this will be the end of all strife, all war, all competition, all suffering, all unhappiness for those who choose to become what a human being was intended to be.

i am talking about men overcoming the spasm of doubt that keeps them from experiencing the ecstastic love that is the very purpose of their existence.

fathers can finally be for their sons what fathers are meant to be. and sons can finally be for their fathers what son were always meant to be, which is a lover with whom he shares an ecstatic love unparalelled by any other love.

oh and by the way, it's god's intention that boys and their mothers become lovers too. she needs in on the love as well, otherwise, imagine how left out she would feel. and of course bring sister in too... it's one big happy family in Heaven. . and i can tell you that the degree of ecstasy that is possible in the relationship between these family members NATURALLY exceeds what could ever be possible for anyone who lives subject to the incest taboo. it's two completely different worlds and two completely different experiences of existence.

You have to think about what i am saying to appreciate how absolutely profound this statement is. It is of unbelievably monumental importance. anyone who denies the importance of this father son relaitonship after hearing what i have said is in denial about the fact that they themselves are living in this experience i am talking about of uncertainty about whether or not its OK to exist. a boy MUST have a father figure that he can totally trust and surrender to in order to fully come into existence as a male human being. hello? anyone reading this and not getting that i am talking about something of stunningly huge significance that could certainly be the cause of a mindbendlingly huge schiism in this world?>??

this is why everyone in heaven marries the son. because he found the way to the experience that boys need to have in order to graduate into a fully conscious and enlightened human being. from now on and forever there will be no more ignorance being perpetuated as a result of shame, the nuclear family and the incest taboo. we're pulling out the stops now. someone like me couldnt possibly have had this awakening without it meaning that the world is going to end and that there will be a fresh start. i dont care whether or not anyone believes i am the son of god, because i KNOW with so much conviiction that the truths that i am experiencing and speaking about are the essential truths about the nature of the human condition and the REASONS WHY there would need to be an end of the world and a parting of ways between two groups of people. this is LIFE coming and announcing its own arrival on the scene through me,. nothing of the magnitude that is ALREADY OCCURRING with the things i am saying has EVER OCCURED in the history of the world.

i mean, people arent even noticing me and i am saying the most important things anyone has ever said and sticking it under their noses almost every week. i mean, what more is there to do than to speak the ultimate truths?? what more would people want from a christ? people just turn away in shame when i suggest that i am indeed this person, rather than appreicate the uniqueness and profundity of the things that i am saying>>> it's really stunning how resistent people are to the truth. .

are there people out there who are gauging what i am saying in order to determine for themselves whether or not you believe that i am the son of god, i urge you to look at what i am saying here about the relationship between father and son. i am defining what a male human being really is intended to be in such a way that makes clear that men are not fulfilling the purpose of their own existence as one another's father and sons. I am explaining clearly EXACTLY WHY men are totally messed up and EXACTLY HOW the problem can be repaired. i am saying that men are lacking a certain rite of passage into existence itself. woe to all those men who deny the truth of what i am saying here.

i am confident that prem rawat and neil young will both concur that what i am saying here is a truth of the most monumental significance, exceeding in significance ANYTHING that has ever been said by any member of the human race, and that the importance of this revelation to the world is greater than that of any scientific or psychological discoveries in all of history. the discoveries of cristopher columbus, isaac newton and albert einstien combined are of less importance that what i am saying here.

i am defining the human condition in a fundamental way that has never been spoken of before in the history of this world. The father initiates the son into life itself as the primary rite of passage of a boy becoming what an enlightened human being IS. Ladies and gentlemen, the human race will very soon begin to impliment the correct and intended way in which fathers properly bring their sons into existence,

thank you very much.

from the grateful son of the truly good father who was willing to love his son as a father is intended to love a son. thank you father.

April 24

The History Channel has had so many programs that pertain to things I have been talking about, programs packed with far more truth than anything else I've ever seen on television... I have come to believe that it has been deliberately planned that a lot of truth would come through this particular medium at this time. Last night I saw a program about how FDR seems clearly to have known about pearl harbor before it happened, and that the USA intended to go into WW2 all along. Much like my assertion that Bush et al knew about 911 before it happened. I mean, the world trade center disaster and pearl harbor are both foretold in the Bible Code, and I believe that everything in the Bible Code is known about in advance by pontifex maximus, the person pulling all of the strings. it was FDR who said "in politics there is nothing that happens that isnt planned." I still believe that Hitler and the USA were both following orders from pontifex maximus even that hitler may have been an incarnation of Pontifex maximus (the black pope). how mind blowing would that be?

i also watched for the second time a program called countdown to armageddon. amazing how assertive the narration is. It does not seem at all like something created by someone with a christian bias, but more if it were a clear explication of fact. apparantly one of the things prophesized in scripture about the end times is that there are two prophets who are killed and left for the whole world to see... (interesting... only in this generation would it have been possible for this prophecy to be fulfilled.) I believe that one of these could be myself. if i am killed it would be almost certain that this would be fulfillment of this prophecy. it seems like from the imagery that they showed in connection with this prophecy that one of the two slain prophets may be a woman. if so then i expect that she might be either one of the two "marys" (mother and sister of the christ) neil young's song down by the river he says: "down by the river i shot my baby. shot her dead. " i am saying that i am his son, so i am his "baby." (his use of the word "her" not withstanding, after all, sun green is a girl.) . if he says he shot his baby in the song that could mean that he wrote in the bible code that i would be shot.

The opposite of Love is Shame. The opposite of Faith is Doubt.

I've just posted a new essay called warning to the human race which is an attempt to get people to consider the implications of the creator coming into peoples' lives with an unrepressed sexuality.

i am working on what i believe could be the Declaration of INdependence for the nation of Israel (which does not yet exist.) anyone who says that Israel in palastine is the fulfillment of biblical prophecy is wrong, because the people inhabiting that nation are not the children of Israel, (Jacob) . god's chosen people number 144,000, so how could israel be the land set aside for the chosen ones when there are several million Israelis? israel is here, seattle is jerusalem.

i have no reason to doubt the possibility that this document could be exactly what is predestined to precipitate the events of the end times. i mean, if jefferson and i are both incarnations of the son of god then the father knows this and so of course he would have had the same thought i have had that it would be so fitting that i write a new declaration that picks up where jefferson's leaves off. how perfect! so that will probably be coming out sometime in the next couple of weeks.

this is really just a journal of thoughts, time stamped and posted on the internet. really this is just like me leaving a deposition regarding my experiences and insights. i doubt if more than a small handful of people are reading this, but i know that if i am who i say i am then this will all become stuff that the whole world will become very interested in.

the erotic experiences i am talking about are really quite mind-blowing. i mean men have no idea what it is that orgasm is keeping them from experiencing. the orgasms of mortal men are nothing other than fear of the very experiences i am talking about. i am speaking of experiences that pick up where mortal men leave off with orgasm. there is an experience of love and union that is just completely mind boggling. its just what we are. it's what is. human being are sexual beings, and mortal human beings are immortal human beings who havent decided yet if they really WANT to be human beings.

there is a god, and he is just as much a "person" as anyone else who exists. he is a person who has the vision of and plan for perfection. he is the almighty god whose will will most certainly be done. his vision is a garland of love, and the flowers in the garland are lovers of his and of one anothers. if anyone intends to go on forever clinging to shame, i am afraid you came into the universe created by the wrong creator. shame is satan's idea and though this may be satan's world, unfortunately satan does not have the capacity to fulfill his promises opf a happy world. he is going to let his devotees down. they are going to go with him to Hell if they are unwilling to give up shame. i am the only person on earth speaking this basic truth. you MUST give up shame if you are to have anything but pure misery from here on out.

people think i am talking pure weirdness only because they are completely ignorant about what they are, what their own existence is made of. the very definition of mortality is ignorance. no one wants to admit that someone could have Knowledge of reality that they do not have. they assume that because they are ignorant everyone else must be ignorant as well. but it is possible to be still and know what we are. "something's so hard to find..." truth is hard to find, but the son of god finds it, and everyone else must follow the path that he blazed.

whoever is not willing to be what they are is going to be self-condemned to an eternity of anguish at wishing they had never chosen to exist. not a happy fate. you MUST be willing to be what you have chosen to be. human beings were made without Shame. Shame is an after-market add-on to what the factory put out. it's an after-market disease. and human beings who clings to this disease have NO IDEA what a real human being is. NO FREAKING IDEA!!!! because without shame we are VERY VERY different. free. happy. fulfilled. immortal. sexy. orgiastic. psychedelic. the difference between a person without and without shame is the difference between heaven and hell, between misery and happiness, between faith and doubt, between angels and demons. forget everything else you ever thought you knew about spirituality. it is 100% about getting past shame.

April 20

There are so many lyrics from Neil Young's songs that pertain to what I have been talking about. Here is one that's been in my head for a few days: "There's something so hard to find / a situation that could casualize your mind." That's from a song on the Tonight's the Night album, mellow my mind .

I found the hard thing to find and I do believe that those who are not willing to make the effort to find it themselves, with the benefit of guidance and assistance, will become casualties of their own choice to both exist and not exist.

Check this out from Only Love Can Break Your Heart: "I have a friend I've never seen, He hides his head inside a dream." I think he's talking about what people call the Godhead. its hard to explain, but that is a visual experience that I have had, the holy spirit his head is hidden inside the dream he is having. his head IS the dream.

I started out this gig as "the Messenger" talking about how the world was ruled by Satanists who control the world by controlling the heroin traffic and the money laundering of wall street. I spoke of how the various characters in the 2004 election were incarnations of God's adversaries. These same people i now say are his allies, playing parts in a dramatization being orchestrated by Ponitifex Maximus, the true pope, the Black Pope, the hidden King of this world.

The story evolved as my experience deepened. Sometime around last June I started experiencing and articulating the more personal aspects of the relationship between myself and the Creator. By the end of last year and into this year I started getting more deeply into what you might call an erotic fantasy of a world in which there is no incest taboo or phobias about the expression of erotic energy. I must say, its a very compelling fantasy! It's just about getting to the bottom of "the human condition." Whatever it is that human beings are hiding from needs to be uncovered. and what we are hiding from is Life itself. and Life is something we experience most strongly in erotic experience, and so what we hide from are the most intense erotic experiences - thus mortal human beings (those who have not yet decided that they really do want to exist) develop taboos against these most erotic experiences.

April 14

I am writing and intend to publish a Declaration of Independence for the Nation of Israel, with Seattle as Capitol.

If there is anyone out there tracking me who knows of any reason why i should not publish a declaration of independence for the (true) sovereign nation of Israel, to be established right here in ecotopia? please let me know... thanks.

what does it mean to exist?

mortal human beings are said by many true religious traditions to be ignorant. ignorant of what? my answeer would be, ignorant of everything. men know absolutely nothing at all, and everything they think they know is wrong. and for such a person to argue with a person who is not ignorant is an expression of this ignorance. it appears foolish to the person who knows when the one who doesn't argues... this is not arrogance, this is simply my expression of what i know to be the truth.

the ignorance of a mortal human being (as opposed to an immortal one, AKA a god) begins with the very first thought. Is it OK to experience existence or not? the new born soul does not really know yet whether it is safe to exist. and so mortal human beings have never actually allowed themselves to know what it means to exist. and so they do not know what it means to exist. and they are ruled by doubt. they are afraid of the possibility that fully awake existence would not be something that they can handle. so they hold back from all experience.

and the christ is the one who comes in at the end of the saga of this world, this temporary place of mortality, and helps everyone who wants to let go in faith and allow themselves to experience what it means to exist. and not everyone will decide that this is what they want, and those who don't will fall into the hell of doubt as to whether or not they want to exist.

because in order to fully exist, you have to be willing to allow yourself to be completely vulnerable, unrepressed, unguarded, free of all phobia's and taboos, and able to surrender completely to the Living god who is the creator and whose love is the substance of everything that exists. you must be willing to be very intimate with your creator. this relationship is what you need in order to overcome the doubt that makes you afraid to just let yourself have the experience of what is in your own consciousness. you need to know the god who is love in order to surrender your doubt as to whether or not you want to exist.

you have to be willing to see what you see, hear what you hear, feel what you feel, taste what you taste, without being afraid of it, or guarded in any way. you CAN NOT do this without knowing and loving the god in whose dream you live. you have to allow yourself to be completely known. completely,. any desire to keep yourself seperate from anything else at all, to have an aversion to anything at all will keep you from allowing yourself to be what you are, which is something called "a Being." you exist, and if you will not let yourself exist, you will be in a deep and depressing hole. you dont want to exist while wishing you did not. ugh! terrible fate. eternally wishing you did not exist. worst possible fate. no fun at all in that.. you cannot decide that you wish you did not exist, without becoming very unhappy.

once you know what it means to exist, you know everything there is to know. and before you have this experience you do not know anything.

people will have to accept their own imperfections and ignorance, humble themselves and accept the gift that will be offered by the son of god of the way to knowing the father. the christ alone blazes the trail of faith into surrendering to the living god. only the son of god makes this journey, the perfect master who, like his father, found his way to the truth all by himself. this is the lineage of perfect masters who are the officially sanctioned masters of What Is in the One Mind that is all that exists. they play the role by virtue of being the one to figure out that the role even exists.. who else would be better qualified to run the chocolate factory of imagine than abel, the dancer and lover of god, the charlie who is the darling of his spiritual father?

extreme love

people are into all kinds of fear-defying extreme sports these days. there is a sport called extreme love, and it has only a few masters in this entire world, and i am the only master of teh sport of extreme love to come into his own in the past 6000 years. his is the most fearsome sport of all, because you have to risk surrendering your immortal soul to existence, and everyone else is afraid to do that. i am the master of the ultimate sport, existence itself. i am the only one who completely let go in faith in the living god, and simply allowed myself to feel what existence feels like. i cross from ignorance into knowledge all on my own. that makes me, by definition, the son of god.

April 11

I believe I was the only owner of a coffee drink establishment in the coffee drink capital of the universe, Seattle, who insisted, from the very first day selling coffee drinks at the two cafe's that the essential baking co. operated while i was the majority owner and ceo, that every coffee drink, whether or not the customer knew or cared, be made with the brand of organic milk known to be made from cows with access to pasture (unlike some brands of organic milk that are produced by cows kept in confinement).

Our cafes used organic valley milk in all coffee drinks containing milk sold at the same or lower prices as others charged for coffee drinks made with conventional milk made from cows who live their whole lives in concrete-floored factories, and most of our customers wouldn't have even known this, as it was barely made note of on the signage at the stores. Some other coffee places offer aseptically packaged organic milk imported from europe at a fifty cent surcharge for those few customers who ask for it. And some places use fair trade or organic coffee, as we always did, and make blaring notations of this on their cups or in their signage, while continuing to use milk made from exploited cows.

why did i take such a seemingly fanatical position? because i never wanted to participate in the inhumanity of the modern confinement dairy industry. I envisioned something better, and so i acted accordingly.

given that i am now, several years later, of a belief that the cow is particularly sacred to the creator of this world, as well as of the belief that i am this creator's son, i think this little fact is quite interesting.

April 10

someone asked me about the difference between faith and belief and this came in response to that query. what i have to say here is very profound, going right to the very crux of the human condition. who could read this and not feel that i am speaking the truth?

beliefs are mental in nature. beliefs consists of words, they are products of the language of the mind. faith is a matter of the heart. faith is a feeling, it is a form of love really, and we all understand that love is a feeling and not something that has to do with thinking. you KNOW you love someone, you do not have to define or justify your love, you feel it and you know it. there are other deeper experiences of love that most people dont know about. these have to do with knowing and having a loving relationsihp with the living god who is love and who is present as an intelligent feeling and thinking being within one's own self. god is really the true identity of everyone and everything that exists, yet no one knows him.

to me faith is more like "willingness to let go in trust to someone else, to give up all clinging, to give up clinging to the fear that we will forget what we are thinking." this is the core problem. we are afraid we will forget what we are thinking. that looks to us like a deep deep hole that we deperately do not want to fall into. we've been fearing it ever since we took our first thought and identified ourself as the thinker. and we cling to thought, which is why almost no one can stop thinking... they are desperately afraid to.

in reality we are the perceiver of phenomena not the generator of them. everything that we experience, we experience through our senses, in consciousness. all phenomena are the same, they are appearances of stimuli arriving through our sense and into our consciousness, and our identity is really the experiencer of all of it, the consciousness. right?

if you look at the tree do you feel that it is a part of you? in a very real sense it is, but we feel separate from things that we experience through our five senses. we feel alienated from experience of our five senses, even though the STUFF or the substance of teh experience, the unchanging part of all experience, consciouness, is the part that is us, the perceiver. thus to fear or feel alienated from anything at all is really to live be alineated from what you could call God, who is what everything is made of. so to live in fear of anything at all is to live in fear of existence itself, to live in fear of god, and to live in fear of your own self. phenomena are all made of consciousness, and so to fear any phenomena is really to set up a pathological dichotomy deep in one's own psychic space, a false self alienated from the true self.

so we have set up a "self and other" relationship with everything that exists, it is all OTHER THAN what we think of as our self. but there is another sense, and the sense organ is the brain. brain is a sense organ, like the eyes and ears because it is the sense organ that detects thought. no one knows where exactly the thoughts come from, but we do know they are picked up somehow by the brain. unlike the phenomena perceived by all of our other senses we DO identify as "self" thinker of the thoughts. so we become the thinker of our thoughts. the content of the thought becomes what we identify with, even though they are constantly changing. we are attached to a train of thought that is going nowhere in particular, and this is what we identify with.

it's the whole thing about eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. we identify with a false thinking self (tree of knowledge of good and evil) and not the true feeling self (tree of life). and this is just a terribly limited self. it is not at all who we really are! and this is called "the human condition;" it is a profound self-limiting error in identifying ourselves. thus human beings live in a state of deep hypnosis, completely ignorant of what they really are.

and our thoughts are ALL fearful, every single one of them, because we cling to thought itself. it might seem like a happy thought, but in a moment your mind will be clinging fearfully to the next thought, and on it goes forever. Mortal humans can never enjoy a single moment of true peace of mind, which is literally what the phrase suggests, peace of mind. its when that voice shuts up. but people don't ever shut it up, they cannot, even when they try to. because they are afriad of some terrible consequence of being without a thought. without a thought to identify with, then what the hell are we? one scared puppy is what we become if we stop thinking and dont know what we REALLY are. in fact, that one scared puppy falls into an abyss of desolation if he stops thinking and doesn't know what he really is. you have to get to know the god within yourself, or you will NEVER have a single moment of peace of mind. i fell into that abyss along the way to gaining mastery of the truth. it's not fun. and that's where people are going to be who dont learn, in the next seven years, to know and love the living god who is everything with every shred of their being. and yet, even though i have been saying that i have learned to know and love this god, not one single human being has asked me to introduce him to them. no one has expressed an interest in having the experience of knowing and loving this god who is everything and that they are ignorant of. amazing.

and so our whole existence is based in a fearful "self" whose very existence is false in nature. we are listening all day long to a liar who has convinced us that he is us, and we identify with the liar, who uses all kinds of devious practices to keep us hypnotized in the belief that this voice is us. we are the hearer of the voice as well as the perceiver of all other phenomena that arise in our awareness, not the voice, and so we have two selves, a true one and a false one.

this is the very crux of the human condition of mortality. this fear is the fall, and the shame is the shame from having doubted god's love. adam fell into that hole. i have climbed out of it, and i will be helping others out., it can only be done by truly yearning to know, love and surrender to the living god who dwells, among many other places, within you. .

faith is when we learn completely trust god, to the point where we can let go of our clinging to thoughts, trusting in him completely that he will remind us if we forget. we have to get to the point of stillness where we can hear him talking to us.,,, "be still and know that i am god." i did it, i was still enough to know that he is within me. this is extremely rare, i dont think anyone alse has achieved this.

checkthis out: i would be willing to bet anyone in this town that an EEG will prove that i am in a permanent state of samadhi, and i would bet a hundred grand that not one meditation teacher, lama, "shaman," channeler, rabbi, priest, yoga teacher, minister, biofeedback guru, you name it i will bet a small fortune that i can be shown to be able to attain a deeper level of samadhi than any of them. that would be pretty compelling evidence of the truth of most of what i am saying in my opinion. i am thinking about posting this as a challenge in an ad. see if anyone takes me up on it! t

this would be a great empirical test, if not of the truth of what i am saying, certainly it would prove that i am full of shit if i could not prove that i am able to attain samadhi. so this is as close as science could come to providing evidence of my truth or of my insanity.

interesting that no one in this state ever said to me, "show me!" about my claims to being the son of god. i am thinking we should give washington a new nickname, the evergreen state is kind of getting stale, with the clearcutting and all.... we should start calling it "the show me not state." maybe i should publish all these ads in kansas city and st louis and see if anyone in the "show me state" asks me to show them some evidence..

so here is a whole town of people dismissing me without even checking me out, without even looking me in the eyes. and who is the one who comes up with the idea of how to prove me wrong? me! no one will admit that showing that i have attained spiritual mastery will prove me right, but they would all agree that it would prove me wrong if i am normal in this respect.

who would argue that an EEG that shows that i can easily attain a very deep samadhi would be very compelling?. i would like to see all of the doubters put a thousand bucks on the line and then go out and find the holiest person they can find in this town and strap us both up to an eeg.,., i am totally confident that no one could come close. i have attained the peace of god realization., i have true faith in the living god who i know to exist within inside of me. that IS god realization defined. i am not clinging to thoughts. everyone else is, and therefore they cannot possibly attain a deep samadhi. it is not possible. if anyone gave a damn about their own existences this could make for an interesting spectacle, but the way it is, even if i propose this no one will respond.

the reason why could be explained by embellishing on the show me not state thing; " The Show me not, I would be too ashamed if it were true State." people dont WANT to even allow for the possibility that i am right. people would much rather live in a universe where there is no god, than one with a god. even though that would be a terrible existence, and this one is wonderful. people are just too messed up to even see what is good for them. people hate the idea of me being the christ. they cant even consider it, i am too much like them. if i could be this person, how come they arent? because they did not choose to be this person,.. they did not choose to be a person who strives above all else for truth and faith.

back to what i was saying.... and so if you can trust him to remind you, then we dont have to worry about letting ourselves forget what we were thinking. and the result is peace of mind for the first time ever in our entire memory of our existence. and the other piece is that we need to remember his name with each breath, that way we dont fall into the trap of believing that we are the thinker of the thought, and forgetting that we are the feeler of the feelings in our body... we have to stop identifying with the content of our minds thinking, and begin to identify with the feeling of existing.

April 6, 2005

I've said a lot, maybe too much. Certainly I've said enough to alienate myself from a number of former friends. I committed to myself as an adolescent that my quest in life would be for the truth. I believe that I have found it. And I also believe that people who find truth typically attempt to communicate it, even though they are often persecuted as a result. I believe that I am speaking truths that people in general do not want to hear, preferring to remain in ignorance rather than accept that their lives are built upon the shifting sands of lies, deceptions and illusions.

What I have to say distills down into a fairly simple message. I am saying that there is a conflict going on in this world between two basic ideas. These ideas can be labelled in various ways: patriarchy vs matriarchy, lies vs truth, knowledge vs ignorance, Cain vs Abel, fascism vs freedom, shame vs love, mortality and immortality, taboos and phobias vs no taboos and phobias.

I am saying that this conflict is about to be resolved in favor of matriarchy, truth, knowledge, Abel, freedom, love and immortality.

An interesting coincidence of two events occured on March 2, 2005. One is that I submitted for publication to the two Seattle weekly newspapers a total of five pages of my statements in which I said, among other things, that I believe that this world ends in 2012. I named the exact date, December 22, 2012, that I believe will be the last day. In previous statements I had predicted that the world will end in a nuclear holocaust. I also stated that I believe that I have arrived at an intuitive understanding about the Bible Code, even naming the living incarnation of the person who I believe wrote it (Neil Young), and I stated that I believed the Bible Code would soon by found to corroborate some of the things I have been saying.

On the evening of the same day, March 2, 2005, the History Channel aired a documentary about the Bible Code. In this program the public was made aware, for the first time ever, of a Bible Code reference to an event that had not yet occured. The Bible Code has been found and revealed to contain references to myriad important historical persons and events, but this was the first time a reference to any future event was revealed. The reference to a future event that was revealed on this program was the end of the world in a nuclear holocaust in 2012. Thus all three statements to which I refered in the previous paragraph were corroborated on the very day that I submitted them for publication. I believe the Bible Code itself may have been responsible for this coincidence.

I believe that this coincidence is noteworthy, given the content of what I have been saying for the past year and a half. The implications of this revelation that the Bible Cose indicates that the world ends in 2012 are quite significant, given that the veracity of the Bible Code has been accepted by many experts in the fields of encryption and statistical probabilities. The fact that not one single journalist has seen this revelation, let alone the coincidence of my having predicted it, as worthy of an inquiry as a possible news story is indicative, in my opinion, of the extreme aversion that the human race has to the truth.

It just happens to be the truth that the human race is mired in shame, which is to say, in an aversion to truth and love. I am the one and only person that I am aware of who is pointing this out, even though this truth is implicit in the first chapter of what is by far the most popular book in the history of the world, the Bible. Genesis chapter one is unambiguous in depicting shame as either the cause or the effect of the fall of Adam and Eve from Paradise. Even though it is essential to an understanding of the human condition, shame is without question humanity's least popular topic of discussion.

I have distinguished myself as being the world's only outspoken advocate against the incest taboo, taking the position that this is actually very near the crux of all of humanity's problems. I am also outspoken against homophobia, a condition that I believe even gay men suffer from. Basically, men have an aversion to love and intimacy, with the result being a race of sexually repressed people. And sexual energy being the purest experience of Life energy, sexual repression is the source of all human ignorance and seperation from truth, consciousness and happiness.