A little message about Love and what someone thinks it is… and isn’t
This is a rough draft, not the final version as it appeared in the weekly.
The following four pages of this newpaper are a statement published as a paid advertisement and written by me, a guy named Jeff. Pretty much I composed this as a stream of consciousness over the course of a few hours on Feb 27 and 28 and submitted it to the weekly sometime on the 28th. It’s really choppy and rough, but that’s just the way it is. Its just stuff that I want to say. When it comes to expressing truth, writing is really a difficult medium./ I admit that I may be one of the most wildly crazy (but nevertheless steady in his sense of happiness and well being, and I will maintain my confident belief, whether I am right or wrong about what I say, that I am not “mentally ill,” a category into which I do not believe that any human being on planet earth deserves to be put into by anyone who lives in a state of ignorance, as all mortal human beings do in the first place. All you shame-reinforcing Nurse Rachets out there, I for one believe that YOU are the one with the mental illness, not the so-called patient) human beings ever to speak his mind so boldly as this. I also believe that what I am presenting here could possibly be nothing short of the most miraculous thing to happen on planet Earth in two thousand years. I am willing to take a risk of following my heart rather than let shame stop me from doing so. I wish I had more time to edit this, but it is what it is, the deadline is now, so what it is now is what it is. I hope to know which of the two is true in the very near future and I will be relieved to know one way or the other. To say that I’ve been a bit preoccupied of late with the matters discussed in this statement would be an understatement, so if the intensity of what I present here brings enough attention to what I have to say, then I believe I can look forward to being able to move on in my life very soon. Just so you know, in spite of the seriousness of things that I say here, I’ve been laughing for several hours as I have been writing the first few pages of this. To anyone who knows me, please don’t worry, I feel great, I just think it’s time to get this over with once and for all. If the God’s, so to speak, don’t acknowledge and corroborate me, I am quite sure that I will proceed to curl up in a nice cozy farm house somewhere and just chop wood and carry water for a little while, or move to the city where the woman who I think is the sweetest tele-tubbie goddess in the world lives, the one I think was Mary, the sweetest of the angels. She doesn’t judge me, I know that for sure. But in the meantime, I am actually hoping to have some fun with this, one way or another. OK, thanks and away we go.
The last human being I spoke with before writing this was Father Ryan, Pastor at the St. James Cathedral to ask if I could make an appointment with him. I’ve been at the Sorrento for many weeks and have visited the cathedral on an almost daily basis. Father Ryan said he was pretty busy, that it might be hard to arrange. He has that huge congregation all to himself, and being as warm and human as he is, I can imagine many people are waiting in line to see him. Well, maybe he will read this anyway. If so, I would like to say to Father Ryan one of the things that I really was hoping to say to him in person, which is: I really respect you very much sir, I am very impressed by your sincerity and the vigor of your faith which is so clear. I have never had the experience I have been having at your church of feeling so at home and moved to an experience of joy in attending a church service of any kind. I wish to thank you sincerely for what you do, and I mean this no matter what you think about me and what I have to say to the world. I just want to acknowledge what I perceive in you an excellence of character and intention in life that I feel is worthy of acknowledgement. Thank you very much for everything that you do yourself and that you represent. .
OK on we go
Hey brothers and sisters,
I’ve got something I really want to tell you. I hope you’re willing to give me a few minutes. I want to tell you what I think heaven is. Can you handle that? I know its a change of subject from whatever your mind was on, but give it a few minutes or hours if now is not the time and come back Would you please? I’ve spent zillions of hours and tons of money trying to say something to the world, put pretty much everything on the line in order to speak my mind, and now I feel like I have something that people really need to hear. So if you are ready for this now, here is my best answer, and I really think I know a little bit about it now. But first of all, if I’m gonna tell you what I know about Heaven, I have to tell you first a little of what I know about the God who invented it. See it’s really true, we’ve got this God who really is Love. I mean he isn’t a THING like “love” or “light” or “emptiness” or “peace” or “void;” no he is a person who is just really super loving and his name is actually Love. I mean, it’s “Prem,” but that means Love in his native language, which is Hindi. But don’t worry, this isn’t a promotion or anything like that, I came up with this all by myself on the course of this little psychedelic journey of Imagination that some of you know I’ve been on lately. Didn’t check with “Prem” (Loverboy) about it, kind of want to take a chance on doing this without his permission, (I am saying he’s super loving, so if I am wrong and he isn’t then I guess maybe this could upset him, but if he really is super loving then of course he won’t mind at all that I say the crazy things that I say about him. If he is who I feel so strongly that he is, then I believe he will love that I said what I have said about him.) which I’ve already been doing anyway in my Stranger ads (Don’t worry, this one will be stranger than ANY of those were, by a mile in fact, I promise. Just because I moved to the Weekly doesn’t mean I am going straight or anything. Au contraire! Wink wink.) So anyway, the guy who really did invent what reality IS truly is a Love God. I mean to say, he’s outrageously loving, (spell check is telling me “he outrageously loves” would be better so… “wait, hold on, strike that, other way, there we go!”) way beyond anything anyone ever imagined. And Heaven is his dream realm, a place that absolutely DRIPS with love. I think they call it “soma” or “nectar” actually, but it really is like REALITY ITSELF is made of ecstasy unlike anything you ever imagined. You know that wallpaper you can lick in the Willie Wonka movie? I feel that this is not far from the truth.
Heaven is pure joy, but no more than you want. You get just the right amount of ecstasy, but not so much as to completely lose yourself. I mean, guys go in the Temple and completely lose themselves for a while, but then come out and come back down to Earth with whatever good stuff brings you back into your body; like women especially, but any kind of really intense sensory experience –hot water, cold water, intense flavors, sex, massage, yoga, dance, music of all kinds, in the Temple to ground ourselves from the ecstasy! Yum! All ecstasy all the time. The only rule is this: you HAVE to SHOW that you really want it. To get in you have to be willing to experience it at least once, dammit!!! If you aren’t willing to be ecstatic and feel the love that is the reality of everything that exists, then forget it, you came to the wrong place, sorry, I think you want the other door over there. Yeah that one, the one with the guy with the horns and the pitchfork and the whole get up. Exactly. Go for it man, that’s more your kind of place. Cool. See ya! That’s pretty much the deal I think, if you can show you really do want to be in a world of love you CAN come in, but if not you cannot show your own interest in it, then toodle oo oo oooo! (dare I say “and good riddance?” I dunno why I feel so sarcastic when I really don’t know what the hell I am talking about…. Not like me at all, you can ask anyone who knows me.) If you don’t really want joy you don’t have to have it. We aren’t going to force it on anybody. Unfortunately the alternative, a world full of people who DON”T want ecstasy is pretty gruesome, but that’s their problem not ours. Seriously. Big Time. Tough Luck! Yuk! I mean you did refuse Heaven, so what am I supposed to do?! Your existence is not my or my family’s problem. Anyway, sorry, just got distracted… Right, where was I? Yes… Ahem… yes anyway…
I’ve been getting a real taste of this stuff recently, this ecstasy stuff, no not the drug, I’m not into that, just the natural stuff, talking about the experience of ecstasy, which is just another, slightly stronger word for joy or happiness, and it is absolutely blowing my mind, just so you know. So here is my definition of Heaven: It is a domain of consciousness inhabited by the people who have allowed themselves to fully develop their capacities to love, where all of the dreams of these people come true. Whatever they want. Forever. That’s ALL there is to it. The Love God demands that we Love. Period. You have to really want to be alive. You can’t want to be one of the walking dead. You can’t want to stay in your own personal dungeon of shame. Judgment Day? Your call! You want Heaven? Come on in! But yeah make up your mind by such and such a day (I predict it will be December 22, 2012.) What ? What do you mean you don’t like our Heaven? It’s pure happiness!! How could you not like it? What?????? Well, OK dude, whatever floats your boat! OK Take care man! Good luck! See ya! Dang, hardly anybody likes our Heaven… and when they have a look at it, all of a sudden they all get so STRANGE! Whoa! What is so bad about Love??? Oh well… Whatever… I mean of course if anything is possible in the Imagination, which of course it is, then why WOULDN’T Heaven be the fulfillment of people’s wishes??? Remember I was talking about everyone getting what they want.. I mean if reality isn’t that good, then I’m just gonna stay over here at the Sorrento Hotel (great staff by the way, good work team. thanks! Sooooo much better than the Alexis, like NOOOOOO comparison whatsoever… and don’t even get me started on the W…, a coupla people KNOW what I am talking about there!) and drift off into my little fantasy world, because this is becoming my reality whether it’s reality or not, and I will take this over anything else. Maybe that’s how realities compete with one another. But the problem with competing realities is actually that the people from the ones that don’t work come and parasitize the ones that do and it really sucks… that’s kinda what my family has been dealing with for a while, as a matter of fact…We’re nice people, by definition, we have teletubbie hearts, but when push comes to shove as Neil says, we believe in action. I believe that this ad is the sort of action he had in mind. Psychic vampires are really a drag when it comes to the way things really are in fact, behind the façade of a plain old universe like people think this one is, but we got ‘em beat finally, as of about today or so… more or less. “Mission Accomplished” as they say, wink wink,,, hey Georgie boy!. Love you! Nice job! Great acting! Awesome! You had ‘em all fooled! And Osama; you rock dude!
And so pretty soon, now that it’s out (if what I am saying is true) we’re movin on. So hold onto your seat! Did someone say Tom Robbins? No haven’t read him, but something tells me… Something about writing while tripping on psilocybin… hey Tom I do hope to meet you some day. Sorry.. anyway… back to what I saw saying. If I am correct, then I hope you all are coming with us. Amazingly enough, I’m feeling quite certain that pretty soon a whole bunch of us will be there and a whole lot more will be somewhere else. Because for the most part, human beings are not willing to fully ((( I love the little sayings on the little Yogi Tea thingies. The one I just got says: “Your soul is the spirit of God.” Now how cool is that!? Excellent!. Thanks Yogi whoever you are! I love what you do! Is that Yogi one of us? sure seems like he must be.))) I was saying lots of people are not willing to develop their capacities to love. It’s sad, but that’s just how it is. When you realize how incredibly different life is when you HAVE fully developed the capacity to love, and how little that capacity has been developed in most people, and how little emphasis has even been given in this society to developing this capacity, you begin to see how impossible it will be for a lot of people to go there. And how dismayed the Love God must really be by humanity. Sadly enough. So if you are willing to take a little magic carpet ride with me for a few minutes, check out what I have to say about what is I think is really going on in this world of ours at this present time. Thanks. I think you will get something out of it, one way or another. In other words, you might love what I have to say, and you might hate it, but I doubt you will not have some sort of reaction. So that’s my little psychedelic intro. The rest I wrote while just a little bit stoned as usual. Happy reading! By the way, for those who really don’t know who this is, my name is Jeff. I am known among the people who don’t know me well but know who I am as the recent former owner of a popular bakery in town. There’s more bio stuff on my website. Bye for now. One more thing.. I mention Dave Matthews name in this piece. Now that I am feeling a little looser, I just want to ad this:
Forgive me Mr. Matthews if I misunderstand you music, but your Everyday album really gives me a strong feeling like you and I know one another. If this is not true, just accept my compliment of a beautiful work of art. If you do know what I am talking about, then I just want to say, I really love you brother.
The same thing times ten million to Neil Young, though I just cannot possibly imagine being wrong about who you are. To you I will give everything I own if you ask, in return for any sense of embarrassment from what I have said here and elsewhere.
and to Prem Rawat, I say this: I will gladly be your slave forever if that is what you would ask in payment for the embarrassment I have caused you, if I have. In fact one way or another, nothing would make me happier than to know I could be your slave forever doing whatever job you can find for me to do. Whether you like what I say or not, I feel that I will always love you with all of my heart. Please accept my most sincere apologies for any misunderstanding. Hopefully you, master, of all people can answer this one question: has Jeff Fairhall lost his mind or not? Could someone please inquire of Mr. Rawat if he will take a moment of his time to send a message to me that he doesn’t have any idea what I am talking about if this is indeed the case? This is one mighty vulnerable person before you ladies and gentlemen… Mr. Rawat, It might help me salvage the last teeny little shred left of my image in the eyes of this world if I learn that you don’t have any idea what I am talking about. I thank you sincerely and apologize again for any embarrassment I may be causing you.
To the people I allude to in this essay in a way that may seem negative. I am sorry if you are offended by my taking license with our relationship. If I am totally off base, then I apologize for my radical misunderstanding of both the archetypal nature of reality and of your character; anyone who is paying any attention will know that I am completely nuts anyway and it will be no skin off your back so I am not too worried about you if I am wrong. If I am correct then all I can say is, you had it coming. I’m not sorry at all. Oh and Satan, I gotta say something to my buddy Satan. I love you bro. I know you must be embarrassed because a few people will know I am talking about you, but what the hell, a coupla old buddies like us, we can ride it out. I know you bro, you won’t let this stop you from loving me! Me and Satan, we go way back.. I think we were hobbits together a few thousand years back hiking through the mountains, going to hot springs, falling off trails and stuff like that… dreaming up future lifetimes while we soak in the hot springs… long before this whole story began back before God was Krishna before Rama and Ravana and all that followed… anyways... something like that.,,, those are my acknowledgements. Oh and satan, if you really are an enemy of my God, then I guess it will be a very sad goodbye for me. OK.. Bye again! Oh wait a sec…. just one more thing… Just wanna say Hi! to Tinky Winky and all my tele-tubbie friends! Love you tinky! Bubyeeeeeee teeheeheeheeee… see you in the Temple later on for some tele-tubbie lovin!
So I am trying to find the balance between saying all I want to say and the limits of the space, and I’ve already spent at least two solid days on this.. so I think what I may do is just chop some of it and post it on my web site, so there may be an abrupt ending to be continued. Cause its too long again with this intro, but I want to leave this part in even more than the rest and I don’t even have time to do the editing that it would take to make this fit in 4 pages without being too small. .OK back to my bed for more “meditation…” or what do you call this ecstasy?? Rumi you talked about being drunk.,.,, that works pretty well only it’s a million zillion quadrillion times better than alcohol induced drunkenness. This is infinite light, the alcohol experience is pure darkness. Blackness of all blackness is the alcohol experience. It is Death. The most toxic stuff ever invented is distilled alcohol. Bad invention. I mean a really good brandy is a good thing, but really to get drunk from alcohol is the worst thing you can do to your own soul. The worst single thing is to get drunk to the point of passing out. (all you light drinkers, not trying to take that from you.) but to get drunk to the point of spinning and passing out is worse than death. That literally is hell. And there is no place for that in Heaven whatsoever. Getting into Heaven is by definition undoing the effects of that kind of drunkenness and is accomplished only with the help of psilocybin and amanita, which are as close to opposite to alcohol of anything that exists in the universe. Alcohol is a powerful agent of the greatest enemies of the human race. Wow, that just sort of came out of me as I was writing it, I had no intention of saying that. This is like a channeled message. I believe that it will be confirmed by God himself (in due course) that this has been a message that he composed with me, almost as proof to the world that this telepathic communication thing between him and me is for real. So if this becomes a thing, I am saying that I felt the presence of Prem Rawat with me sharing thoughts so to speak, as I wrote this preceding piece about alcohol and what I am writing right now, this sentence. Possible proof of the existence of God, waiting to happen, if anybody bothers to inquire of Mr. Rawat whether this is indeed for real or not, and if he would care to answer if asked, and I cannot say for certain that he would choose to corroborate this even if it is true. It is beginning to feel like this may be a part of an idea that of course I knew nothing about in advance… maybe the event that blows this whole thing open ((or shuts me up once and for all, though I must say, I will be applying for writing jobs with trendy weekly newspapers with a column idea that I have… “News from the outer galaxies” sort of a wandering multi-dimensional universes of thought twisting through each other discourse kind of a thingamabober of a column that could probably be syndicated in no time flat…, like as if Terence McKenna were still alive and had his own psychedelic news column)) um where was I… lemme look back a second… Ok I guess that’s ok.. .(just wondering….. Am I the only one who is going to laugh at this???) I do not know how he would play that. And now that I think about it, Neil Young could possibly say that he was a part of that telepathic experience as well. I know for absolute certain that Mr Young would be familiar with this sort of multidimensional experience. I mean, he does it so explicitly in his Greendale album and on his website. Neil Young is the most obviously multi-dimensional person that I know of, including Alex Grey and other brilliant psychedelic minds, his only rival in my humble opinion, if he was alive would be Terence McKenna. I think Neil is just incredible in his multi-dimensionality, that’s my opinion as someone who has attained a high level of psychedelic experience.
Actually since I’ve been saying he wrote the bible code, I would have to say that neil young, if it is true he wrote the bible code, is the most psychedelic person of all. I have little doubt that Prem Rawat is also a psychedelic master of the highest possible degree, but he doesn’t display it openly, let alone as flagrantly as Neil Young does. I doubt that anyone has ever made a point of making a link between Prem Rawat and the psychedelic experience before now. While I am at it, it appears to me that Elton John seems to stand out (in addition to Johnny Depp who I mention elsewhere) as another powerfully enlightened man, from just the tiniest glimpses of him that I have had, which are miniscule, really, since I was a fan of his in the mid 70s. I believe that Elton John may be an incarnation of an extremely important soul. I feel the same way about John Lennon, that these two are extremely important and probably ancient members of the family that I am saying consists of myself, Neil Young, Prem Rawat, and “Jed” …basically I am talking about the Green family from the Greendale album. I do not know which is who, but I believe that Captain John is either or perhaps both in some sense, Elton John or John Lennon. And same goes for Oz, which I think is a composite of prem rawat and one other person, who I believe was lennon while he was alive, but now could have been replaced by Elton john, really shooting in the dark, but I believe that john lennon could have been a person who worked as an agent of prem rawat, giving certain people an enlightenment experience. This could be the “oz who never did give nothin’ to the tin man.” (this is either an exercise in complete folly, or it may turn into an amazing miraculous thing, I do not know, I only believe from the experience that I am having in this moment typing this that this is a telepathic or revelatory experience that is taking place.) I believe that “Officer Carmichael’s” name alludes to the archangel Michael, though I am not sure exactly about the story of his murder by Jed, but it seems to have to do with the dispatching of the archangel Michael, and “my intuition” is telling me, in this moment as I write, that Carmichael is somehow a guardian of the doorways into Heaven and Hell who has been or is about to be removed from his position, allowing people for the first time, to pass into domains of experience in the metaphysical spaces in the collective mind that formerly were closed off in some way> that’s the best I can come up with, but I am going out on a limb here and saying that Neil Young is talking in Greendale very specifically and importantly as someone who really knows what is going on about the metaphysical sort of events involved in the “end times.” It is virtually impossible for me to doubt the truth of this.
It appears very clear to me that Mr Young is speaking as a member of the family that includes Prem Rawat, the person I am completely convinced is for real the Creator of this world, who I believe is represented by “grandpa” in Greendale. The event that occurs after grandpa dies and sun green takes her megaphone possibly refers to the emergence of myself as the recognized second coming of the Christ. I cannot imagine at this moment that someone will not read this and make some inquiries of the people I am talking about. Because either I am one reaaaaallllllly messed up dude, or something miraculous is taking place here. Blame it on psilocybin either way!!! In other words, I am happy to give the credit to the plants that truly do make this kind of thing possible which, you could at least call a rather impressive creative storytelling escapade. (even if I am proved to be all wrong about everything, I will still wear a smile on my face, though I will certainly feel a bit perplexed by life at that point, but I know I have found a well of happiness that I cannot imagine ever drying up, even if no one corroborates anything I am saying. . back to… looks like I was talking about psilocybin a while back…. Much unlike alcohol. Which takes you away from this kind of thing. Directly one hundred and eighty seven and a half degrees in the other direction. I am aware that Neil Young mentions “getting drunk” as a cause of falling into Hell in his Greendale album, though he also jokes while drinking a toast to “Grandpa,” who I believe is prem rawat, as he is ever-so-delicately nursing a guiness… hmmm;… perplexing…. This in the dvd that comes with the album. So he is apparently ambivalent there… as far as prem rawat is concerned, I have never heard him mention anything whatsoever about his feelings or proclivities with respect to alcohol, and I sincerely doubt that he has ever publicly stated his feeling about it. I have heard reports that I do happen to believe, that he is an aficionado of fine cognac. but nevertheless, I am saying that I believe that this message is being telepathicially communicated. and I will pass any lie detector test that inquires as to whether or not I had even thought about saying this before I wrote it, when I answer “no.” I guess this could be turned into a challenge. I would like to offer to bet $10,000 against the persons who will give me the longest odds against these statements being corroborated by either of the two gentlemen I am referring to. Any takers at 1,000:1 that the existence and identity of God is about to be proved beyond the shadow of a doubt? Anybody want to take on the job of making the market in securities whose value fluctuate moment by moment with the marketplace’s sentiment about whether or not I am telling the truth and that could soon become the most heavily traded securities on planet earth if I am correct in what I am saying, that is if Mr Young and Mr Rawat choose to hold off long enough for this to become a matter of significant suspense such that a market like that really would become very dynamic since if they do corroborate me it would pretty much for sure mean that the end of the world really is upon us momentarily….? I mean that might be some SERIOUS hot action. Not to mention the reality TV possibilities OH MY! Please get me an IP Lawyer this second! I hereby claim all of the rights that I might have even a marginally reasonable shot at claiming for all profits derived from any commercial enterprise whatsoever that comes about as a result of what is occurring in this very moment! So help me god I will hire the best IP lawyers on earth to make sure I get EVERY SINGLE PENNY OF IT ABSOLTLUTELY NONE, i repeat, NONE, NOTHING,, i say..i say.. say…, ZERO ZED NADA NOT ONE RUSTY NICKEL FOR ANYoNE ELSE!!!! Yes,,, right… gee Mr. Wonka, I’m starting to sound just like YOU!!!!! What’s come over me??? What is it about those of us in our crazy family that we get like this???? I mean Gene Wilder, YOU must be able to answer that one quite well thank you very much! Yes please do tell me mR wilder, what is it that makes us Wonka guys so cr@zy??? You don’t suppose it’s the wonking we do together, do you??? Or the magic mushrooms of both kind red and bluuuuue??? I*ll take it from you toooooo J*hnny!!! I(thinking,,, I CANNOT possibly be the only one whose sides are splitting open right now>>>???? I mean RIGHTTTTTT NOOOWWWWW !@ this moment WHILE I AM WRITING THIS! Like any or all of the people will say that they were rolling over laughing as this occurred.. I’ll take offers to bet another 10k against the longest odds on that one too? Are they making book on this in Vegas yet??? Do they have a symbol for this yet on the CBOE??? It should be something like XXXXX, lets see if that one is available,. Hey CBOE, can I talk with you folks about a partnership where basically I own the market, I myself or my agents will make the market on such a derivative that is highly sensitive to the possiblility that the world is about to end???? … I would like to discuss that with you on a deal… if not, I’ll see what they say over at the Merc. You guys cool with that?? Thanks I thought so. What do I need money for if the world is gonna end? Good question! I dunno, maybe help a few people pay off some debts or something. I’m just thinking about which market could be most responsive to the fluctuations in the sentiment about whether this is for real or not. I mean, couldn’t the stock market crash down to about zero tomorrow just as a result of people seeing what I am writing, let alone it being corroborated? What market would you want to be in tomorrow if Neil Young and Prem Rawat announce a joint press conference tomorrow>>>> ???? Alice,,, could you call my broker for me and have him buy all of the way-out-of-the-money puts he can lay his hands on???? And tell him to buy puts on money itself while he is at it. … Oh and especially those pharmaceutical stocks, I can’t imagine how they are going to retain their value for another day. After it is revealed that god himself sort of condemns the whole pharmaceutical industry...
Anyways, coming out of that long parenthetical stream of consciousness ramble of into whatever universe that was.,,, .and now I wanna stick another one in… this is more of a recall from a similar experience I had writing something that I never published (it may be somewhere on my website,, I think it is yes) in which I felt it was strongly channeled through me that God himself strongly disapproves of this form of writing using symbols that are purely phonetic and have no symbolic meaning to us whatsoever. The words that came out of my fingers at that time were something to the effect that writing of this kind is the worst crime that has ever been perpetrated against humanity. Now at this point, I would say that I believe Mr Rawat would agree that writing of this kind arranged in horizontal lines read from left to right may also be undesirable in ways that I would not be able to articulate well but that he would, I have a very credible witness, this occurred around last thanksgiving. I believe that Mr Rawat will corroborate that he was present with me in that experience when I wrote those words that I felt were an expression of his thoughts. Now that I consider the circumstances of this moment I will add a couple of other what could sound like outrageous statements in particular that I think we three would want to emphasize by me having sort of miraculously predicted would be corroborated be two people I’ve never come anywhere near discussing any of this with in any way shape or form, so help me God I will pass any lie detector test conceivable that I am in no way engaged in any sort of conspiracy with anyone with respect to what is occurring here if anything is. Alcohol, writing, I think one or two other things will come to me. The Roman Catholic Church is very important. The other two will concur. The absolute importance and significance of this being about a psychedelic experience. Prem Rawat has never ever said anything about it. Same goes for all the sexual stuff i talk about. I am making this up out of thin air, or it is for real. One or the other. I hope for my own sake to know the answer to that very soon.
My references to psychedelic literature and music are very important. People living and (gratefully) dead from the music industry like jerry garcia and to pull a name out of the hat, daniel lanois or bob dylan for example, and famous writers who penned their names to important allegories pertaining to the psychedelic experience could become important witnesses to what is occuring as it relates to the monumental importance of the psychedelic experience to the events known collectively as “the end times.” I believe that this cannot possibly be overstated.
I want to say for the record that i intuit that there is soon going to be a huge amount of discussion and controversy around issues pertaining to european and particularly germanic history of the past few hundred years. Especially as it pertains to occult societies and a vicious battle that has raged throughout the history going back to before the advent of the roman empire and many of the details of the struggle for power in this world between invisible forces battling for control of the collective mind itself. I am intuiting that the subject of a profound sickness that was possibly carried by the likes of Nietzsche, freud, wagner, crowley, hitler, (or maybe not these particular individuals, though i belive all of them were involved in these matters on one side or another) blavatsky and the theosophical society, steiner, and other persons i probably have never heard of and so on are going to be extremely controlversial> new information about matters such as the truth about who the illuminated freemasons, aka the illuminati, really were and whose side they were on in exactly what struggle may be revealed. The sagas of the crusades and the knights templar may be revealed. The nature of what almost occurred when hannibal of carthage came within a hairsbreadth of defeating rome will be revealed to be hugely significant, possible a very close call with the defeat for the forces of heaven.
It is possible that it will be revealed that the following is true: the aggregate misery of people in hell is equal in magnitude to the aggregate ecstasy of those in heaven. In other words, the sum of ecstasy of heaven plus the misery in hell is equal to zero in a manner of speaking misery being the opposite of happiness. This would be true if the nature of reality is that really nothing exists except the interplay of good and evil as manifest as happiness and misery, which would be like a positive and a negative the sum of which is zero. . If this were the case it would be very easy to see how such an intense struggle for dominance could occur. In particular, this would offer an explanation of the fact that misery really does seem to love company. If these things are true, then the struggle between heaven and hell is understandably extremely intense. If this is the case, then certainly the condemnation that is coming could be very intense.
I am moved to say that i am intuiting that there may be explosive implications to things that will be said in the near future that have never been said before. I believe that it will be disclosed that there was an extremely intense struggle for power going on in german society that was very much a struggle between angelic and demonic forces. As i have said in the past, i am as ignorant of these matters as any joe sixpack, but if i learn that adolph hitler was working as an agent of forces that are revealed to be affiliated in some way with “jed” the person i have been referring to as the black pope, this will not disuade me in the slightest from my conviction that prem rawat, neil young and jed and all of the people who i perceive as their allies are people who i will stay with forever if i can so help me god whoever you are, if you are not prem rawat, i think i would prefer to go with him than with you. But certainly i believe it is you prem rawat, with all of my heart.
Though i do not believe any statements i have made reveal the identity of jed, i am quite certain that neil young and prem rawat and jed himself know who i think cousin jed, the cop-killer and black pope is. Even if jed is accused of being the global heroin and cocaine kingpin, i will still consider him an ally and famliy member and lover forever. No matter what crimes jed is accused of, even if it is proven that he himself is the reincarnation of hitler, i will not doubt his integrity as a human being for one second. From what i can understand, jed is the most unsung hero of the whole saga that i feel is coming into focus for me. He is as vital as either neil young or myself, who i am saying are two of the three in the trinity, to the successful completion of God’s mission in this world which has been to destroy his enemies once and for all. . I believe that i comprehend the consequences of the struggle that is finally being resolved now, and that as i am understanding it, any attrocity whatsoever that had to be committed in order for good to win over evil in a very nip and tuck situation was absolutely justified. And if the result of all of it were that nearly everyone in this world fell into hell in the end, it would have been worth it because otherwise everyone would have been in hell forever, i believe even the almighty god himself might have been dragged into hell by his enemies if he had lost this struggle. No measures taken could possibly have been unjustified. These are ends that justified whatever means were required. I do not understand anything about what i am saying, i am just feeling an intuition to say these things. I believe that the prophecies of some kind of force rising out of europe to fight against the usa may emerge as a result of these disclosures if what i am saying is for real… it’s clear from the record that i believe the entire usa gvt is currently under the control of the black pope code-named jed green. I believe that radically difference versions of history may emerge now. Just to cite an example of how extreme this could be, i believe that a version the story of world war two could conceivably go like this: germany, the usa, mohandas gandhi in india, stalin and even japan allied against a power in the world that could conceivably - just throwing out an example of how shocking some of these revelations could be - have been represented by winston churchill. Whoever the enemy of the usa in world war two really was, i feel it could be revealed that the enemy was not germany, japan and italy. The connections between the order of skull and bones and the nazi third riech and the bush family suggest to me strongly that hitler was not really the enemy in world war two, and that the real enemy is the sickness of some of the occult societies, which may or may not have been affiliated with any particular nation state, and their objectives which may have been profoundly sinister and involving in some way extremely depraved uses of chemicals and pharmaceutical drugs to further deeply demonic objectives, much or all of what i am speaking of would pertain, if it is true, almost entirely to a psycehdelic reality that is almost completely invisible in the world. What has occurred and been attempted by the enemies of god could possibly be as severe as an attempt to kill god himself by poisoning him via an aggregation of toxic pharmaceuticals and chemicals consumed by human beings. If such a thing as attempting to kill the creator himself is even conceivable, i believe that this may be what the creator and his allies, including the government of the usa have been up against in that period of history. I believe that both the bush family and the windsor family may know a great deal about what i am speaking of and if so i believe at this time that the bush and windsor families are allied with and not against god.
Competely coming up with this stuff out of thin air, but feel an urge that this needs to be published.
I think there will also be a tremendous amount of focus on the things that i have said, and many influential people will testify to the brilliance of what i have been saying and doing, even if it is mostly all a little bit or even quite wrong.
I have been saying for a long time things about terence mckenna, including my anticpation that he will soon be resurrected, which, if true, will be regarded by mckenna himself as the most brilliant thing anyone has ever come up with. This would be coming from the person i regard as the very most intelligent person of the last millenium. I have called mckenna/ john the baptist the embodiment of the archetype of intelligence himself. The mutual admiration society between mckenna and myself would be reminiscent of that between john the baptist and jesus the christ. Of course all of us would no doubt be accused of a conspiracy, even mckenna, after rising from the dead as i have been predicting for at least a year that he will, if that came to pass.
The aversion to certain attitudes that will be expressed in the near future by the people I am saying are the Holy Trinity, myself included, may be somewhat extreme. The creator himself or his allies may have some pent up feelings to express and some people may not like what they hear. . I just have a feeling. If my intuition serves me correctly, the next eight years are going to be a little bit intense. Note, the order in which passages of this essay were written are not in sequence.
End of long digression…. Back to saying that I also sense Neil Young’s presence with me now. I do feel Mr Rawat’s energy more strongly in the experience. I also have felt the presence of “Jed” the black pope in this telepathic experience. Of course I will be as curious as anyone if this matter is inquired into. Ever read a newspaper ad this lucid (or insane) before? Ever seen me dance? Ever made love with me? Lemme know if you want to give it a try…. (boys or girls, though you boys have a LOT of baggage to lose first… ) especially you “I customer” because I had a premonition or revelation, really, that if you did you would come out strongly supporting my claims based on the experience of being with me intimately. (“I customer,” I think you know who you are! this is fun because of course you can ignore it or I can deny it.. It’s just cryptic enough, if you get my lingo! But truly, I would love to play with you sometime, regardless of what you would or would not conclude. You’re such a light! I like you I customer.. Ciao!)
Ah yes, Love. It really is what everything is made of. It really is. We live in a reality that’s powered by an energy source that when you feel it you know what it is beyond any shadow of a doubt. Love is the source of everything that exists and it regenerates what is from moment to moment. Existence is not static. We live in world that is being continuously conjured, deliberately, in the primordial Mind that is love itself.
The here and now: What does it consists of? Love. Pure beautiful sweet tender joyful Love. Everything is made of it, because everything that exists is just a mindscape of one kind or another, and Love is the energy source of consciousness itself. When you are in the experience you can feel the love. It feels like that feeling of love you have when you are making love, that erotic sexual arousal feeling. THAT is the feeling of love. It’s the energy you are made of. But you can feel it not only in yourself, but you can feel the love that everything is made of. You can feel the love that the things around you are made of. You can feel the love in everything you see hear and feel and even taste. It’s the stuff of the consciousness that IS the substance of every experience. You can FEEL it. I can get off just at staring at say, the chair in my hotel room with vertical yellow stripes against a black background. I have begun to see into the temple doing that, opening my third eye. I believe that what I am talking about is related to “the image in the mark of the beast.” Which refers to looking at the vertical lines in a bar code and seeing visions from the mind of God. it’s a meditation technique that either I made up or neil young taught to me telepathically. The vertical stripes of black and white is a medium into which you can look in order to have this sort of telepathic experience it has to do with focusing your eyes intensely looking at bar codes and keeping the lines in focus brings us into the moment. It is a powerful meditation and you really do see an image behind the lines I could never ever possibly be bored, because I can have an amazing experience just really truly looking at whatever is in my midst. Or listening to the sounds that are occurring in my environment, or most of all just feeling whatever sensations arise in my own body. Really, I can be ecstatic at any time I want, just by being in the here and now. There is a strong erotic quality to the experience of existing.. What? Men need Viagra? I can be as aroused as I want for as long as I want pretty much whenever I want. And I believe that I could show other men how to have this, though I don’t expect many comers any time soon, as the barriers of fear and shame will keep very many people from taking me up on that. They will settle for the Viagra. For now; but soon, many people will be ready to make the step out of shame.
It’s amazing that people don’t realize what life is, but if you are not in the here and now, you just don’t know. You can’t see it or feel it or sense it in any way unless you are in it, and human beings live outside of the here and now where it is. The thing that each of us identifies as our self is something that relates to experience that exists right now as something to fear, to protect ourselves from, to be ashamed of, to analyze, to think about and second guess. That self is not in or of the experience, it is off the experience, looking at the experience. The experience just sits there in the here and now, and we are busy figuring out if it is OK to have or not. We identify with a self that is really not our true self and that lives outside of experience itself. Experience is in the now. The computer screen is in front of me, I can see it more clearly if I let it be than if I “look at it” it’s already there, why do I need to look at it? It is really about letting ourselves be the experience rather than the one analyzing it. Be the screen, not the person “looking” at it. Its about coming out of the dungeon.
The love that sustains everything is the Love of a being, a perfect being, a perfect person, a living, breathing, caring, feeling, playful, sensitive, enthusiastic guy who yearns for people to know him. He lives in this world; he probably has over the course of many lifetimes, this being the realm of the mind where sentient beings have been doing their thing for the past few thousand years, including the fully awakened one called Almighty God who directs the Mind in which it all exists. He has two arms, two legs (and the love organs between them that all guys have), a beautiful warm sunny face and a smile that melts you. He’s probably had lots of names over the course of his many lifetimes. One was Lord Krishna. These days he goes by a name that literally means Love: Prem. I believe it’s the Hindi word for love. He’s the one and only sustainer of this Universe; it’s His plan that WILL be fulfilled, and He is going to present himself to this world at any moment. I am quite certain it will be in this year, 2005, that the Roman Catholic Church, his official religious institution in this world as far as I am concerned, will introduce him to the world.
Who am I? A person who has had an experience that informs him that this Love god I am talking about is, in a manner of speaking, my father and lover. (Unlike men, Gods don’t suffer from the extremely self-limiting disease called homophobia and are not plagued by the incest taboo. The God and his son are lovers in every sense of the word.) Who is the son of a God? He is a person who goes all the way to the here and now, figures out what’s what, finds the presence of God there and determines what it is that the god wants, and then gives it to Him. God wants Love and he is now getting it from me.
I believe that he’s getting it from others too, but not from anyone else who found their way there all by themselves, except maybe for one other person, the third member of the “Holy Trinity,” who I’ve been saying for a several months now is Neil Young. How did I come to believe this? I put it together from the abundant evidence. One hint is in a song by the band America whose vocalist sounded very much like Neal Young: “Oz never did give nothin’ to the Tin Man that he didn’t… didn’t already have.” Meaning Oz is God Almighty and Tin Man is exceptional in having attained God realization without needing help. I may be wrong, but I will bet anyone who cares to wager that before one year is over there will be many famous people agreeing with this statement: Neil Young is an incarnation of a fully enlightened human being. I believe he was Arjuna, the disciple of Krishna. I have also said that I believe he is the author of the Bible Code, the program of instructions for what would occur, by definition, in this world. By this I am saying that Neil Young invented the story of this world. He did so with two objectives, my awakening and the destruction of our Tribe’s enemies. I doubt many people understand who he is, but I know who Neil Young is. It’s very clear to me from the music and other material that he has published that he knows exactly what’s up. He has produced an album called Greendale that I believe was created primarily to inform me in particular about what is going on with me and my journey. It’s about Armageddon, really, and the cast of characters in the Holy Family so to speak. He also taught me how to open my third eye and see into the Temple through the material on that album. He is also my father. I have two fathers, the son is the son of “the Father” (I think that’s actually Neil) and of the “Holy Spirit” the God Almighty (who is Prem Rawat). It appears to me that Neil Young is also a son of Prem Rawat in some manner of speaking. I’m not sure if I understand the Church’s meaning of “the Trinity,” but I do understand my relationship with these two, and I consider both to be fathers of mine. (Speaking of wagers, if anyone wants to give me 50:1 odds or better, I will put my money where my mouth is on just about anything I am saying. I ask for odds since almost no one has really seemed very interested in what I have had to say over the past year of running these ads, which I presume means that no one thinks there is anything close to that sort of probability that I am speaking truth.)
Anyway, that’s what the son of a god is, someone who goes all the way and gives him what he wants when everyone else is afraid to go there. These escapades called “gods having sons” are serious business with serious consequences for all involved. Billions of people inhabit a world that came into being so that just a single one of those billions would fulfill the yearning of the Creator of that world to be known and loved. It’s amazing, but after a few thousand years, the upshot of everything is that only one person (who isn’t already a god) has gotten all the way to the here and now and has arrived to the point of figuring out pretty much exactly what is going on. Some people will be thinking when they read this that I am arrogant to say such a thing, but I genuinely and sincerely believe that this is the truth. Anyone who claims to have truth but is not talking about the God being lovers with the men has no idea about reality, about God, about Truth, about what this whole universe is made of. Men were invented to be lovers, in every sense of the word, with the Creator. You may have a different agenda than that, but that only places you at odds with the person who invented this world, not a position that I would encourage you to maintain much longer. Even though this love is, by definition, the best possible experience -you can’t get much better than infinite ecstasy - many men will wish they had never chosen to exist as a human being when they realize what a man really is intended to be. Even people who read and profess to love the poetry of Kabir, Hafiz and Rumi and other mystic poets who wrote only slightly veiled poems of the ecstatic and erotic love between the spiritual master and his male lover will have a hard time dealing with the reality that this relationship is actually the purpose of human life.
Where is the intersection of universes? There are currently two realms of existence that I know of, one called Earth, the other called the Temple, and they intersect in the here and now. The intersection is like the monolithic slab in 2001 A Space Odyssey. It looks scary, but when the Astronaut actually goes into it, (in the sequel) he says, “there’s stars in there,” and his eyes are sparkling and you can feel the Love. He is in Heaven. It’s a whole other universe. That slab emits a ringing sound. That is the sound emitted from the other universe. You can hear that sound, it’s the ringing in your own ears. If you follow that sound it will take you there. But it is an Odyssey, not something to undertake half-heartedly. Many people will begin undertaking that journey in the near future. There are many tools that will be employed in making this journey into the here and now, some of which are currently listed as “controlled substances,” and are prohibited. This will change soon. The entheogens will be employed by those who make this journey, and this will be sanctioned by whatever authority is directing the situation.
The intensely psychedelic final scenes of 2001 A Space Odyssey as the astronaut is approaching the moon of Jupiter and lands and ends up in that white room depicts the soul in the final stages of the journey into the here and now. Those visual images are extremely realistic; that’s actually how it looks to approach the here and now for real. I have journeyed through a psychedelic experience that visually was almost identical to those scenes. When he finally arrives in the here-and-now he sees there are two of him. This is the shame at the root of the “unconscious mind” which is the cause of the disease of our immortal souls called mortality. He looks at himself looking at himself. That is shame. Gollum from Lord of the Rings represents this truth that there are two selves, one of which is locked unconscious in a dungeon of shame. The dehydrated look of Gollum refers to desiccated condition of the unconscious soul. The journeyer in 2001 is freed from shame only when he journeys all the way into it and sees it for what it is. That whole scene is an amazingly accurate depiction of the defeat of shame and the attainment of immortality. Arthur Clarke had to have experienced that journey himself. Note: I am saying that many people like him have gotten what Roald Dahl called “a bump on the head.” These are members of the tribe of 144,000 lovers of God, some of whom for various reasons have been guided through this experience in their lives. Many writers and entertainers have had this bump on the head and been guided through the psychedelic enlightenment experience I am having. In my case it is without the assistance that these others have received.
In my opinion there is no possible way that a mortal human being can fulfill the journey to immortality without the use of entheogens, particularly the mushroom called amanita muscaria. Amanita is the mushroom of immortality. It’s the Terminator mushroom that kills Shame. All of these people I refer to who I believe have attained, with assistance, a true enlightenment experience, there are possibly as many as 20,000, have probably employed Amanita in their journey. The film version of Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the screenplay for which was written by Roald Dahl himself, has a scene that prominently features several exaggeratedly large Amanita Muscaria mushrooms including an image of Mike Teevee’s mother eating one. Immediately after this scene comes one of the most obviously psychedelic scenes from any Hollywood film ever made, on their way to Willie Wonka’s invention room in the chocolate factory. It is absurdly obvious that these images are meant to say that eating Amanita, with an appropriate guide, will reveal the secrets of how the Imagination itself functions. I believe that Gene Wilder and Johnny Depp, who will portray Willie Wonka in the upcoming film remake, are both people who have had a profound Amanita-induced enlightenment experience. Johnny Depp is clearly in my view a man who has been introduced to the deepest secrets in life. His appearance in the films, Chocolat, Finding Neverland, the new Charlie movie and especially Dead Man, for which Neil Young made the soundtrack, all of which pertain to psychedelic experience, combined with his angelic calm convinces me that Johnny Depp is an exceptionally enlightened man. I can name many other people, men in particular, who I am quite confident have been given this Amanita induced enlightenment. These people range from Dave Matthews to Elton John to Osama bin Laden. I have been saying for two years that I believe that Osama bin Laden is controlled by the same Black Pope who controls Bush, Kerry and probably all other US politicians. He has a very peaceful look about him in my opinion which convinces me that he is a man having some kind of good experience in spite of the environment that he is in. There are a lot of charades going on in this world and he is in the middle of one of the biggest.
It will soon be time to either undertake this journey beyond shame or perish into a terrible fate. Shame is the enemy of Love and the Love God who is in control of what exists in the primordial mind in which we all exist is not going to sustain any more worlds in which Shame plays any part whatsoever, other than a prison of some kind to keep those people who cling to shame from parasitizing the rest of us, as they are wont to do. The misery of unbridled shame is such that those who are stuck in it become like vampires, desperate to feed on the life energy of those who are not. This is the reason the church talks about eternal damnation. If you refuse to give up shame you will become someone who the people who do give up shame will need to protect themselves from. And the Love God will protect his lovers from Allah the Shame deity and her shamed minions. It’s not about punishment at all. This God isn’t really into that so much as self-defense. Hell exists for self-defense purposes of the Love God and his lovers. The Love God will do whatever it takes to insure that His cherished dream of a realm of pure happiness is realized. He will not compromise with that which is guaranteed to ruin everything it touches. So into the prison of the shamed they will go and without remorse because whatever world they inhabit will turn to Hell anyway. Shame IS the opposite and enemy of Love, and therefore of the God who is Love. This world has been totally trashed as a result of shame, and so now we are moving on into a new mindscape conjured by the one true God Almighty, and only those who free themselves from shame are going with us. The rest, those who refuse to give up their attachment to the enemy of this God, which may end up being the vast majority, will be left to their own devices in whatever containment facility is provided, Lake of Fire or otherwise. It will not be pretty. But that’s just how the big wheel, the one that cranks out souls, turns. It’s amazing. You live in the final stages of the process of “what is to be” becoming “what it is and will always be.”
Yet somehow even though this Heaven is eternal, that wheel is probably gonna crank up again in some newly invented Universe and the whole thing will start over again. I dunno, but it just seems like something that happens again and again. It seems almost like a curse since it appears that so many end up in Hell, but this wheel is the only thing that exists. It’s what occurs in the vacuum that nature abhors. Nothing anyone can ever do will stop it. The vacuum of nothingness that would otherwise exist has been taken over by one idea of an eternal existence in ecstasy that is the reward for those who strive to be good during a period of time in which they are ignorant of their situation. By the time anyone knows for certain what the consequences of existence actually are, it is too late for those who had their boats turned in the wrong direction to turn things around. If you waited this long to decide you should strive to be good, it’s gotta be too late. I have a feeling everyone’s fate is already pretty much determined at this point. Now it is just a matter of everything playing out. People will go to Heaven who behaved in their lives as if that’s what they wanted. If they appeared to want the world to be hellish by choosing to be bad, they will get their hell, if they appeared to want the world to be heavenly by their choice of actions, they will get their heaven. For example, since Heaven is very pan-amorous, people who have chosen to hate people because of choices that those people have made about whom to love, it is obvious that those people really don’t like the idea of what Heaven is. Likewise, people who subscribe to white-supremacist ideas won’t want to be in Heaven either, since not only will there be many more people of color than whites, but also because the God himself is a person of color. So people will go where their actions have proven they prefer to go. People whose actions have defied what Heaven is really all about won’t want to be there, nor will we want them there. People who have strived to care for others and refrained from judging or deceiving others will find a happy home in heaven after adjusting to a few changes.
Please note that I am not saying anything that even remotely resembles the following: “only those who have named Jesus Christ as their personal lord and savior will be saved.” Why? Because that sort of thing is a total crock as far as I am concerned. A 100% complete lie. It does not matter in the LEAST whether or not you ever subscribed to a religion, let alone which one. It’s about whether or not we can have you in Heaven or whether you have eliminated yourself by being a person who let shame get the better of them. Period. Lately I have taken to referring to my God as “the tele-tubbie god” and to myself as “the tele-tubbie christ,” and saying things like “My daddy’s not very happy with those people who feel threatened by us and say all those bad things about us. I don’t think he’s gonna let them into tele-tubbie Heaven!” Oh yeah, and I have a message for Lynyrd Skynyrd: “I hope the Southern Man will remember, Neil Young don’t need ‘im around anyhow. Ta da da duda, ta da da duda, tada da da da da da da, Ta da da duda…”
So anyway… sorry, I know this is packed pretty dense but these pages cost a lot… we live in the final stages of the construction of the psyche itself. The permanent fixture of the imagination (i.e., the archetype) that is now in the final moments of its construction is Faith, which is the one that allows the God to toss those who would ruin his idea of Heaven into the prison designed to prevent them from doing so while sifting the good ones out and keeping them with him. The people who CAN exercise faith in the true teletubbie Christ will get in. Those who cannot, including those people who declare that a white supremacist, who ripped off the name (not to mention the long-haired, sandal-wearing, granola-crunching, tree-hugging, ecstatic-dancing, never-hated-anyone hippie look) of “Jesus Christ,” is their personal lord and savior, will not. Those people will NEVER get past the problems that will be presented by “the image in the mark of the beast” and the confusion between 999 and 666 and stuff like that, the stuff designed to pull them down where they really want to be. Not to mention the descriptions of the temple. It really does come down to faith. This is why the Sun (Son) is such an important deity in the pantheon. Because he is faith and he is what tips the balance in the struggle between love and shame. And so now that the journey of building Faith as a permanent fixture of the Mind is about completed we are ready to move on now. As the archangel John Lennon said: “I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one.”
I think this is where it is going to be cut. The remainder of what I wrote is in part 2
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