3400 PHINNEY CHOCOLATE (121)

nov 6, 8 am

(I am reading the Zen Dictionary on line and I came across Buji-zen... sounds like a guy I know who has nine girlfriends and many ways of distracting me from my purpose in life, my old friend the Beast. I wonder about his Buddhist brother Richard, who seems likely to be an agent of Jed and Franklin's Freemasons, the Rawat Police of the Archangelic Police Chiefs.)

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dear brother father uncle friend lover Prince Rauven the Magnificent,

i love you i would like to come visit you at shine sometime soon and listen to my chimes and watch you sculpt something like i used to. Please can i do that? Please? you promised me when i left that you would let me come visit you as long as dan wasn't there (because he hates me for some reason that we dont ever need to talk about if you dont want to) and this is the first time i've asked, please don't say no brother, please don't hurt me by saying no, so many people have been hurting me, i can't stand to have you hurt me by saying no...

if for some reason you don't want me at shine, then can i at least come by your house for a hug, and to have a hug with mama mo too? i miss my once and future best buddy who went his separate way because he had a job to do, a job that he did perfectly, so perfectly.

because he's a really perfect guy who "sits at the left hand of g*d," just like you showed me with that book when i was there with kenny, saying you were abraham and i was isaac. kenny, stone green, son of col jackson green, who is the great uncle of sun green, that's me/. i want to have a closer look at that book, if and when you let me come for a visit.

i want to see you, and i'd love to bring kenny with me if he and you both agree.

i promise i wont say anything that you dont want to hear, just tell me what you dont want me to say and i promise i wont say it... if you dont want me to say i am the christ i promise i won't, it doesn't matter, i just wanna see you. just tell me what you don't want me to say.

i miss you brother, you were my best friend but we had to go our separate ways, again, just like you told me that night at the hot springs, when you walked off the road JUST SO YOU COULD SHOW ME THAT YOU TOO WERE WILLING TO SUFFER FOR MY SAKE, but i want all that to be behind us now, i want to be with my best buddy again, i wanna dance again to your sweet melancholy songs that i love, i wanna go back up to that hot spring again with you, but this time without the bible code telling me to drive off the road and telling you to step off the road, just because you told someone a long time ago that you WANTED TO in order to tell me that you love me. please let me know when i can see you

thanks brother,

j

by the way, tears have running down my cheeks and i've been sobbing as i write this...

and yeah, one more thing,,, there's this really amazing hobbit house, i think it's called "the mushroom house," it looks like something terence mckenna, neil young and you might have come up with together if you had designed a house, you know, like stairways made out of the same driftwood you make stuff out of at shine, it looks a lot like bilbo baggins' house in lord of the rings, not a right angle in the whole place.

the house is in my favorite place to be during the winter, whistler, someone sent me a bunch of pictures of it a couple years ago for some reason. it was for sale and they sent a link to the ad, i wasn't sure why since the price was something like five million bucks, other than maybe someone thought i would just enjoy the idea of the place. that was before i ever heard greendale, but neil seems to mention that house in greendale, he calls it "the double e rancho" for reasons that i dont need to explain right now, and a lot of stuff he sings about in greendale for some reason seems to pertain to my life, maybe just a coincidence, but i have a feeling you and me and neil and lots of other people are gonna be partying in that house soon...

see, neil young's this amazing puppet master, and i'm his puppet, and everything that happens to me is because he makes it so, and i cant possibly imagine why he would have sent me that link and made me look at the house and see something that i've liked the idea of having more than anything else, that looks so much like something Prince Rauven and his buddy Jeff would both love and enjoy immensely, unless it was somehow destined to be so.

by the way buddy, i want to thank you for all of the little clues you've given me that you really really do love me, not the least of which was having andrew weil, who I think I was told in Greendale is named "Remedy" send me an e mail addressed to "Jeff Faith." I think Dr. Weil's another guy like us who likes shrooms who might want to hang out with us at the mushroom house.

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i wanna "see what he's gonna bring," I got lots of "vitamin P" but i never did any of the cool psychedelics that he wrote about that he's GONNA BRING TO "THE WEDDING OF SON AND MOON" - Remedy, you devilish zen master you!!! ... you and franklin, OK, so now i gotta figure out who made up each koan? Or can we just settle for those two, Remedy and Franklin... or who knows maybe one more will come to me,,, easily.,..

Raja ji of course made up the really easy one, kind of like "Mu" (which i never did solve, i'm not sure I quite get tthat one other than it's the sound that the most sacred animal makes,,, you know the one in my daddy's picture... but anyway, I can understand poor raja ji came up with such a weak Koan, after all, he's new at this, I mean, he's REALLY psychedelic, just like Earl Green, but Jed's been pretty busy all these lifetimes with being Sun Tzu, so he doesn't quite appreciate the knack I have for KOANS>> but really, that isn't fair, because WHEN i did the manifestor48 Koan of his, i was super proud of myself because that's about the toughest koan i could have fgured out at that point... you do know that the first guess I went to Roshi Jed Green's Dokusan with was my sweet father, Arius... so I didn't nail it on the first one, and somehow I honestly did think it was Elton John at that point, which if it ISNT jed then certainly it would be Captain John Green (I hadn't seen Greendale yet, so you can't give any credit to Greendale, Manifestor48 came much earlier, so on the manifesstor48, my first guess - you can ask Satan, he was there! he's the one who I told that my daddy lover sent me an e mail- was, yes, my daddy lover, but then there was Elton or Raja ji I forget which, maybe neil sort of remembers which of these two i guessed first, but now I am going to go with raja ji, because pontifex maximus is the obvious "manifestor" .... you do recall of course that i asked what the 48 was becuase i was like "Maharaji, you aren't 48, so what's the deal?" and jed says "for infinity..." but then he did a good job of messing with my mind by making it seem like a prank, but i finally sent the e mail when I said, "OK i got it, you are for real.." you heard that one where I told Todd, "That Raji ji, he's quite a comedian,," I was getting that cigar smoking groucho marx look,,, was that you Jed, were you Groucho Marx? OK, so that's what that picture is, yes, and raja ji maybe was Karl Marx two, because those two have just GOT to be the same, just like Lennon and Lenin (an archangel's job if there ever was one - Lennon being the reward for a tough job well done)... OK so Groucho and Karl Marx are Raja ji, and Lennon and Lenin are Lennon... not bad..

how do I know? Because in Fremont we have a statue of Vladimir Lennon, that's all...

come on, what are you saying "Huh?" for? dont you get the picture??????

OK, well for all you people out there who are not zen masters its simply like this, it makes for a funny joke, a cute idea...

I cant tell you how many people i said the same thing to, "we need to get a statue of John Lennon to go caddy corner to old Vlad - john, do you know that cool guy i skiied with on the day I got thwacked when I was skiing with Elliot over on musical bumps? lets all do the Spearhead with him,,,, OR WAS THAT YOU??????

OH MY GOD<<<< VLAD!!! DOh!!! it took me too long to figure it out,,, of course, you wanted to see me with blood all over my face, so you walked through a few walls like Pluto and David youngs does and you got neil to put that dang branch in fromt of my face, AND I AM SO GLAD YOU DID!!!!!

OK, so obviously if you've got a freaking statue of Vlad Lenin show up in teh Center of the Universe in proximity to the Temple and you're the guy who knows it's teh Terence McKenna Memorial Temple of the Archaic Revival, and that Willie Wonka is going to land there with a helicopter BEFORE you ever read Charlies and he Great Glass Elevator, then you start coming up with interesting IDEAS OF FUN THINGS YOU WOULD DO IF you were the one making up the story of life in the center of the universe, like having a four corner intersection with statues of Lennon across form Lenin, and then of course you MUST ALSO have Karl and Groucho on the opposite corners,,, and then if you are the worlds most FREAKING AMAZING Earl Green Style {Psychedelic Painter} par excellence, you paint a nice cute little picture of Raja ji with a cigar and big eyebrows and stuff that your puppet-lover see, and he sort of GETS THE PICTURE///

get the picture/?

and i still want to meet Julia Butterfly, she's gotta be like my sister/ aunt/lover, doing exactly the kind of thing i would have been doing if Neil hadnt had me giving up my life to Tom, Martin, Ptarmigan, Mary Ann Rossi, Ptramigan some more, Martin some more, Jon Ramer, Sally, and the rest of the Babylonian parasites that I've been feeding. I always wanted to just go make a statement like that more than anything else, i wanted to walk around the world, i wanted to weld myself to the beak of an eagle in the lobby of powerco and confront everything that was packed with lies. but i never got my chance, so I wanna meet julia butterfly soon.

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OK OK OK OK OK I get it,... here's a bit about the TV koan and teh Elton incident.... everyone who came to neil and requested a CAMEO appearance in my life, like Dave mathews with the everyday album under the moonlight in my center, or Elton with his little cameo that BILL AND I BOTH SAW>>> everyone gets their piece, like the rental car shuttle sweetheart, in the BIble COde... so maybe EVERYONE got to throw a little comething into this life, like Rauven with his little fall of the road, which is of course the sweetest of all since he's my best friend, he wanted to show me,,, and of course he is Sam like I told him, and of course Steven and Bejurin are Sams too, and Joe C> and of course Neil and one in a billion Bill... Sam is a composite of all of the friends who walked with me gave me love and support on the journey,, Free's another Sam, making SURE i got to String Cheese...

Or daniel lanois, slipping me that album, after i had already mentioned his name (right?) and also by poking around the edges like Dave with our sweetheart Celeste, and that goddess who floored me just now in the bakery, and that couple i met with the dog in the parking lot, these are roles that people chose to play,, and of course my mom and others who suffered the most, Rauven, my dad AWF, one in a billion Bill Kenyatta, Aunt Sea, Helen, Quill, these are the really royal ones. And there's Diana and Marilyn Monroe (same person?) and people like Bonnie Prince CHarlie, who made somehting of a Cameo today and when i was with Satish and "that woman" and Wendell at EF Schumacher's place in Totnes Devonshire, the very town where my dad's Aunt Nellie lived in the old stone town gatehouse with her garden with gooseberries and some kind of steep stairway into the attic where we slept, this was back in the year when Lucifer got shot at the hands of Satan's proxy, Poppy, like I said...

Yeah, I'll just keep entertaining you people for as long as I have to sit here "blogging instead of contemplating" in defiance of someone who would feign to help me,,, (i hope that wasn't someone who wanted me to take them seriously,,, why would I take that seriously when the one who helps me is at Neilrawat@yahoo.com and not someonewhowillhelpyou@yahoo.com..

I'm sorry Mr Someone, but I'm afraid i just cant oblige...

"hold on there Bubalouie, I'll do the thinin' around here..."

I've been contemplatin' for a long time, I think I deserve a chance to do some good blogging, now that i've got something worth saying, now that I'm DONE tying to help a buch of Babylonian Zombies, and can finally turn my attention to my friends, brothers and sisters and lovers///

The person who i listen to for advice just got throw telling me something that makes sense to me, that "we are watching you always, you are honest, you are peaceful." He's telling me its time to blog! Blog on Jeff he says, so hopefully Mr. (Or Ms) Someone is just one of ya'll just trying to have some fun with me, i hope this satisfies...

OK, so i aint in no hurry to grow old too soon, cuz I dont have any idea how many more miracles I have to watch unflod before my eyes that i can play with...



speaking of eyes...

since the day neil said "we are all rawats" in reply to my query, "is rawat my name too? " and i noticed the face of the all seeing owl in the name of our family, i've been look for pictures within words, and you've seen me playing with Ross Klings @Y@s as a way of demonstrating this,

well, lately the small case letter "y" has been catching my eyes a lot, and i've been puzzling on it a bit, and there really is nothing to it, it simple looks like the face of an elephant and that's what it is, but that's all i can say about it right nowl..

even joe whinney's name looks like some sort of picture to me now, though i havent puzzled on it, just noticed

i think i now how Neil does this, like here I am going to tell you how he made me see the zippy cartoon.

Like i said, he is mimicing my every move, and i am mimicking his...

we are one

are we one

one are we

So when I am in the lobby sitting around having tea, he is sitting on some kind of a set, maybe just like a stage set, and he gets up thinking, "i wanna check out the bridge column," and i'm perfectly cool with that, because it's what i do any time i have the seattle p i available, i read the bridge column. SO then he reads the bridge colmn of the seattle pi just as i do, and then he gets my eyes moving on down to the zippy comic and he's like that's interesting, i think i'll tear that one out and look at it later,,

and of course he makes sure of things like the display of Snyder's pretzels in the convenient store, or the LU cookie display that i saw the day i asked him about "LU #7" and he said Luke chapter 7 and then whatever said that made it seeem very solemn, and i am going to guess that the bible code in the english king james version of luke # 7 has some big secret like even possibly the name of that bad guy with the bad idea of filling up my father-lover's body with pharmaceutical drugs or something like that, maybe about the Holy of Holies, you know, one of the major secrets.\\ or the location of adidam bookstore six blocks from my house, and of course i have this feeling like Dave is living in my hood just to make me feel like i have a guardian archangel nearby,,,, how many of you archangels are there? not four, but seven, but not seven but even more/??

I just think about what I would do if i could transmit a subliminal message. great minds think alike.

all i can really say is this: if there are NOT 20 to 25000 people watching this unfold in as close to play by play fasion, then i'm gonna be really disappointed, because i'm kind of proud of what i am doing here, and NO ONE is giving me any credit, or those who are give me just a miniscule fraction of what i honestly feel i deserve, which is an important aspect of honesty, knowing and recognizing what you deserve, you cant be an honest person and not also be honest with yourself about what you deserve, and i feel like i deserve the kind of attention that i have a hunch i am getting via some sort of holographic truman show or something, i dont know how you all see me, but Raja ji told me about the deep undergound place in idaho, where all of the Greens seems suspiciously to come from where we have remote viewing facilities, the place with the pictures i've seen of Arius watching me kill satan on the big screen remote viewing TV, which seems also to be a place where i could get a picture of him talking to people from somehow, like maybe he really could talk to everyone all at once, which is the feeling i was getting at some point, it seems like it was a part of the experiene at burning man, and of course if its true, then Neil can tell you.

OK so now i think i will go out and harvest some of those PERFECTLY LEGAL amanita muscaria mushrooms and if i find any little phallicy looking psilocybes i will just opo those in my mouth so Satan can't tattle on me and get me kicked out of this hotel.

i always wondered why James Arthur talked about cooking six of them as his recipe in the peculiarly interesting book he wrote, mushrooms and mankind.

well somehow i feel like maybe its because i need to cook six of them in order to get up to the double e rancho tonight from bath tub to bath tub.

if i am going to be beamed up to the double e, while fully consicous, which i have long had a picture in my mind that i would do, peculiar idea, no?, i might just need a three times bigger than i've ever taken before dose of amanita.

see, james arthur would never recommend to a novice user of amanita to take six of them, and no novice ever would because amanita is scary for people, i doubt very many people ever take amanita who are not initiates in a secret society, other than me and james and a few others, most people would do it once and give it up, which always was a sign to me that Paul marcoux must be a freemason, because why else would he have raved about amanita. he told me he loved them, and that's DAMNED UNUSUAL<< so Paul, hey if you are there, i love you, no worries about your obviously set up shenanigans, and i'm sure they told you that i wouldnt really suspect you of trying to rip me off, not the guy who told me about Ross with his "sucking the messenger's dick comment." Paul, I always could see the genuine respect in your eyes, you never were a liar like martin and hoe whinney and ptarmigan and all of the people who genuinely did rip me off, including i wouldnt be surprised, someone somewhere in my business whom i trusted with lots of money and stuff. but NOT lorraine, no she NEVER ripped me off, she's an Israelite honey, and Israelite honeys dont steal from the men they love.

I thought about lorrain yesterday, wanted to spend time with her, but at this point i think that was just so that i could bring her name up for some reason, maybe i needed to use her as an example of an israelite honey, and appropos of that black skinned goddess today, that's appropriate, because even though she didnt come in this world with a body like hers, Lorraine has eyes like a gentle cow, she is a pure woman, a goodess a sublime lover - i know, because she has the eyes.

the eyes of Lorraine are beautiful and soft and you can feel the openness of her heart (her sexual organ) when you look in them. she always wanted to be my lover, so i hope she will be one of the first in line for the opportunity to do so. I've been talking about cows a lot lately, appreciating and resonating the feminine goodness of Rada, the virgin mary my sweet baby snowleopard has helped me appreciate more fully what I have always appreciated in a more subliminal way, the gentleness and generosity of the cow which really is so very much like what a truly feminine woman has to offer.

no offense women, but really, when i look at the soccor moms and nurse rachets of this world, it occurs to me to say that a lot of women could really stand to spend some time milking cows. they need to because the cow is even more loving and generous than they are, and therefore should be held sacred.

Lorraine is more cow like in a completely positive sense of the word, in the same sense as the goddess at the convenient parking lot, than just about any woman i know, right up there with palmo, which means i wouldnt be surprised if she is some serious royalty... not to mention her instunctual loyalty to me.. lorraine is what you call a good woman.

let lorraine and the parking lot goddess and the pike place bakery godess be held up as examples to the woman of this world of what they must aspire to become if they want to be a part of what the Holy Rawat family has to offer, which is happiness. and hold the lactating cow up there as well, because that's the idea, that's the pciture that they need to see.

no soccor moms with their whistles and their out of bounds lines that their five year old adults in the making are required to stay within will be coming into my Israel as far as i am concerned. i hate those women. really, i do, they are just rachets all of them, for every alcoholic man there is a soccor mom mother who trained him far to soon to be an adult,,, you cant be twenty on sugar mountain, and too many moms are rushing to get their sons off sugar mountain, and we just won't put up with their in Neil Rawat's and my own heaven. Sorry ladies, but you gotta give up turning your boys into oedipus. or you can just go where people go who dont want to be a part of the happy world that we will have without you...

a better place, with or without you,,, that's what Neil's talking about.

we've got a better place, and you can come if you want but we dont need you, we'll have just as much fun without you as with you and if you want to be a nurse rachet we dont want you, we will prohibit you from participating.

but really it seems to me like if women would just let their sons be what they are made to be, which is playful, imaginative and sexy, then they would have a lot more fun themselves.. but whatever, i dont care, ,it's no skin off my back that ptarmigan chose not to be a part of what Heaven is, chose not to be a part of a world in which both men and women can be happy. Bye Bye Ptarmigan, and GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU, YOU WALKING DOUCHE BAG OF THE WORST of Martin Roth's consorts' sicknesses, the hatred of men just because they have more intelligence than women

OK, I'm off to volunteer park, my first guess as to where to find six nice healthy amanita muscaria mushrooms. and joe! Neener neener neener,,, you didn't manage to get that one on the controlled substance list, so there is nothing you can do to get me in trouble, so Joe, if you are reading this, or you Tom, all I can say is SUCKER!!! nothing you can do will stop me now... besides, i dont think i mentioned on here what hotel i am in, right>??? .

So Joe Whineey , Get ready to be EXECUTED, yes EXECUTED! FOR YOUR CRIMES against my family WITHIN THE INVISIBLE REALM where no one can stop me from pushing you through the threshold of your alcoholic chamber of ether.

BURN SATAN BURN... burn in Hell. you deserve it. you surely do, you deserve whatever you get as the consequence of undoing the crimes you have committed, the damage you have done.

You IDIOT! you wanted to be a miserable alcoholic liar, and you wanted to take everyone down into your alcohol hell with you, and whatever the consequence of me not wanting to go there with you is yourr fate, and i wont flinch for ever ONE MILLISECOND in executing my responsibility to send you to your fate. In fact, I hope i get to look into your eyes and just give you a chance to express yourself one last time to me, i want to know what you will have to say to me, and to my fathers. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF now that even your own expert witness who testifies against me knows that you are defeated. Once and for all time... good bye Joe Whinney... what can I say, your karma is your karma, and my job is to insure that justice is done.

Your wish was to defy justice, the worst wish anyone could have ever had. it's one thing to hope to avoid it, and that's more than bad enough, but to prevent justice from ever existing is just an entirely different matter,,, how could their possibly be a fate that would be bad enough for the person whose wish was to destroy the possibility of justice. its just so hard to comprehend, as Lucifer and his descendants all know, why you did it, but my story is, I just don't give a damn, and besides I KNOW the answer, its because you are stupid because you were an alcohol drinker already when you came up with your plan, and even the smartest alcoholic (most devious) person is not a match for the smartest psychedelic (most honest) person.