Shakey's Pizza (142)

the title of this e mail was SHakey, which is his identity as a producer...

Neil Percival Kenneth Robert Ragland Young Rawat

that's all it said, but it was in reply to me saying "i love our names"

who was percival? was he a knight of the round table?

just re reading some of the emails neil sent me.. here is one:

go to your home in wallingford. it is waiting.
we are waiting for you there.

that's when i came and danced to dave mathews and something big happened that night. i forget exactly what, but one of the big revelations happened there that night. on the rug. right? that night.

break time??? its 12:12 am////

by this point i cant look at the clock on my computer and see 12:12 and not think, i better mentoin that...

jeff said to george: if i could give this bakery to you i would

thomas said to george: i could give this country to you i would

i dunno aobut the country, but i want my bakery back so i can do with it what i PROMISED george i would do which was GIVE it to him... he deserved the country, can i at least give him the bakery

goerge was always the one,, i used to say "if i was willie wonka, GEORGE would be my charlie" and then a year ago i said to him that i saw him as being almost like the best of the best who isnt me,, maybe i mean who isnt a rawat yet,,,,

george rocks. i love him. i can imagine that i dont even have any idea how much he rocks.. but i guess he isnt in greendale yet which is good if he istn... how do i know george isnt there?? i hope NO ONE in the peanut gallery is wondering THAT ONE>>>>!!!!!

DOH zix rating goes down a big drop if you dont know why i think george isnt there but IF THERE IS ANYONE THERE whose that dense, if you dont get it after i give you this clue then i dunno, we might have to put you to work in the chocolate factory (like grandpa george who goes with charlie on the helicopter from the gates of the chocolate factory)....

and on we go to the next one...

is ROB BRACKENRIDGE THERE by ANY chance?????? i wanna know if he is laughing or if all of this zix is over his head???

rob if you are there, i got something to say to you :::

don't you mess with my sister!!! (yet, you gotta give me a chance to be with first,,, i deserve it,,, dont you think?)

sometimes a thought can just stun you, and sometimes those thoughts are the answers to the biggest koans

here is one like that :

Q who is amshel rothschild

A if soros is nathan, and i have semi-inadvertently named him as a SON in recent writings, then perhaps the answer, which suddenly becomes overwhelmingly obviously, well, the best candidate, if his life didnt overlap wiht jefferson or louis 14 (and i would give it further consideration about Louis if those lived did overlap) is obviouslythe guy who obsesses the most about mpney and justice, who wanted to write a novel about who a gandhi like fellow named daniel baker who took over the banking system just by being honest, who goes out on a limb by talking about the three temples and claims to be the christ by virture of his obsession with a just money system,,, you know that guy right/???

is that the answer? nope, its not... because his life HAD to have coincided with either jefferson and louis 14 or both,,, but waht about DANIEL???? there's a good possibilty,, or else arius or prem those are the four top solutions.

because i think amshel lived during the time of napoleon, the middle of jeffersons life... but its a high rawat, that's for sure.. VERY important person in history,,, super important. as i've been saying for twenty years of obsessing about these things.

i'll go with DANIEL on that one, he's my son (in some sense) and its a family thing... its an intelligent gues at least,,, which is all i have to offer.

re daniel being my son,,, because i am the one who most wants to be his father,,, surely.. and to be honest, if vulnerable, i think if he gets to know me (again) he'll agree that i am someone he wouldnt mind having as a father.

dave can you sing that dreams of our fathers song again??? there's something about that one in particular that sort of moves me so deeply,,, and that brings it to mind when i talk about daniel and how i feel about him.

i remember saying to him and burning man,, something to do with love, just that there's a lot of it and that someday he would understand, or at least that second part was implied in the way i said it.

********************************what is it?*******************************

daniel who excitedly showed me his book after we'ld talked for five minutes: Judaic SHamanism,, now if you were a magister ludi imagining up the dream story to end all dream stories, and you were gonna put a book in the hand of daneil to show isaac that he's the daniel that isaac is lovers with, what sort of subject, what sort of implication would you expect there to be in the title,,, how about judaic shamanism, how would that be????

maybe i had just repeated to him what i said umpteen times, this thing that i just have thie "knowledge" feeling about based on my experience as ISaac,,, like i just sorta know it,,, that the "ayahuasca" of the israelite prophets was the combo of SYRIAN RUE and Psilocybin that would tend to grow in the pastures, the name syrian rue obviously suggesting local availability for the psychedelic shepherd/ goatherd shamans (AKA JUDAIC shamans) like me and daniel.

I am sure mckenna and james arthur both could relate to what i was saying there...maybe those guys and me and daniel all tripped together on that combo back in the day when we were shepherd/ goatherds

.................................venturing a bit further out into left field..................................

IF amschel rothschild's most recent or present incarnation is someone who i have never named in my writings then i have something to offer roshi.

i puzzled on it "amschel" and i came up with Paul Schell former mayor of seattle, who i met once in the context of me being a money person, the introduction was made by PAUL who i believe is THE Paul, Paul Marcoux who i believe may have been De Gaulle... (if de gaulle died soon enough) so there is the PAUL connection going as someone potentially very important and since his name says "I am Schell" then I just have to bring it to dokusan and offer it up to roshi.. why else would the mayor of seattle have been named "schell" if it wasnt a clue for me in solving my own personal riddles all alone up here in my hotel room THAT I WISH HAD A DAMNED BATH TUB BIG ENOUGH TO GET INTO!!!! like PAUL SCHELL"S Inn at LAngley, now THERE's freaking TUB.... now if he's got dimmers in a hotel room that rents for UNDER $500 a night then he's REALLY A WINNER! because i havent found one yet..!

Paul schell if you are there, did you like the one about how i called the woodmakr and then the willows inn and asked both in all seriousness, "would you say that the bathtubs in your rooms are the same size or bigger than the average at the four best hotels in downtown seattle, ..

in case you are interested, which if anyone would be it would be YOU,,, the woodmark admitted that they too have pathetically puny tubs, nad the willows inn people said that they were genrous in size.. i never did go to stay in a $500 hotel room in woodinville just so i could have a luxurious bath,,, but i very well might have were they not filled up like every other hotel i called earlier in teh week..

were gonna have to put Jerry Adams Hewey in charge of the hospality thing... he knows how to run a good hotel i have NO DOUBT>>> !!! hey roz and jerry if you are there!! love you guys...

neil, or one of them if they are there, shold tell the story about the toughing the nose thing they do... its great..every family ought to adopt this ADAMS / Haewy practice / habit roz hewey is a GEM reminds me of elenor, the first MAUDE that this Harold fell in love with since Mrs. Smith , and you can say either one, but marion smith is the one who i wanted to continue to know, but i was yuonger then too, so its not fair.. both were GREAT teachers in my life,,, MJR and Marion...

then again, maybe it was Paul Marcoux himself... could be either,, i think its pretty reasonable guess.. remember,, paul LOVES amanita,,, not too many people have told me that... like NO ONE else has ever told me they LOVE amanita.. you gotta be pretty zixy to love amanita..

my best answer to the PAUL koan:

he's the guy who came into my life who would appear to have ruined me, so that i could say something amazing,,, that the guy who appeared to ruin me, who apparantly came to deceive and embezzle, to mess up everything AND NOT EVEN APOLOGIZE, that guy was PAUL, the apostle of the CHrist nad the person for whom PAUL bakery in france is actually NAMED>>. PAUL you rock... thanks for a COOL KOAN experience... no worries, i never worried by head about money after apoint that i was long since past by that point,,, i was solving koans and you knew it would be OK>

paul was good to me.. better than just about anyone,, in terms of showing me respect.. that guys a SOMA guy we hung out in france together (which is like saying "in heaven" literally... LTERALLY, get it/?? like FRance WAS a pretty zixy place for a while there.. that's where everyone hung out who didnt have a job to doo elsewhere nO???

back to iamshell for a second.. i am back to me being solomon if possible.. and if not then daniel is my next guess for a solomon rothschild if there even was one;. this rothschild thing is big for me...

i can sort of see paul marcoux nad paul shell being a part of something that soros was a part of.. yes just those three seem like they could go together... i hope i am ont so far out in left field as to be complete wandering in the wilderness of confusion...

like, did "POOPY" BUSH hang out in france a lot during the golden age of france?? do you see how pOOpy came to mind suddenly??? is that an accident or is it the magister ludi playing with me, its alwys hard to know, but when you;re in the bardo now babt you takae typos wserous;ly... youknow what i am saying george d?

i see on the aol home page that the cyclops is a character in the narnia movie,, never read the books didnt know the cyclops was a character.. this very MUCH pertains to the phallic aspect of this experience,,, i think neil can take it frpm there if there is mnore needing to be said.

of any thing i can think of that you can eat or drink, nothing comes close to pomegranite in one curiously strong way... it CRUNCHES when you roll it around, kind of like my neck does when i roll it around these days/ and my back and sholders.. interesting... if you roll the pomegranite around with the skin on it crunchse, like the individual cells of the pomegranite are like whatever it is that crunches in the body.

915 am

lemme see, should i have brunch here so i can try to flirt with the lover who invited me to come for brunch,,, or should i go see if the queen of sheeba is working at La Panier today... i kind of feel like checking out sheeba... or maybe i should just go to james monroe's place.

**************************

just some words that sort of exzpresses what has happened lately...

they say that "god is love" and it's so true; but honestly, with all due respect to my most Holy Lord and Lover Prem Rawat who's Lord Krishna, I feel that such a characterization of the deity that entirely ignores the intellici aspect of teh deity, that honors theh sexy aspect but ignores the zixy, is prehaps just ever so slightly imbalanced. I wanna ask Gu Maraji if its OK with him if we bring back intellici (He's the only one I've ever heard say this word , and i dont know if spelled it correctly, but thats how it sounded when i heard him say it a few times a few years ago) and change it to something like "god is both love and intelligence"

you know, it feels just a tad bit unzixy to say the obvious thing, again, that i so often use in an attempt to illuminate the nature of certain phenomena that have duel aspects, but it just works too well, and so i will just say it:

it's kind of like how light is said to be either a particle and a wave, depeding on how you look at it.. which is different but similar to calling sexiness "DC" and zixiness "AC"

so anyway, maybe in the future people can give just at least a tiny eensy weensy bit of respect to the zixy ones among us who really do represent a portion of the deity, Arius, that perhaps one could go so far as to say is something approximately - and trust me, i've always had a strong preference for understatememt (i'm charlie, remember?) - like more or less, and i will surely be happy to say "less" as long as that doesn't get interpreted as "so little as to be OK to completely ignore" - the word that this is all leading to is "half"

and if i need to be corrected, if i am being as arrogant that at least a few people have accused me of being and that i suppose more than a few people have thought that i have been, i will be more than happy to be corrected by neil young in particular on this particular matter, otherwise i will take the position that intelligence can no longer be disrespected by people who wish that they could pretend that their own relative lack of intellifgence compared to my own is not a reality or something that matters, that they still have a right to interupt me and tell me what they know aobut how it REALLY is, which is entirely other that what i believe i know, when they themselves don't have the sense of knowing what they are talking about that i do... no more such offensive behavior should be tolerated in my humble zixopinion...

and once again, i apologize for allowing the deparment of redundancy department have it's fifteen minutes in the limelight this morning, but its honestly just a thought that i feel wants to be honestly expressed, even if i am saying the same thing again that i've said already at least a few times,,, maharaji, has there ever been anything that you've said in your satsangs that you've repeated more than once or twice or even three times?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^IT'S CALLED BEING FED UP AND VENTING AND ITS MY WEBSITE AND IF I WANT TO VENT I WILL, SO FUK U OK? ...

not that i believe anyone actually reading this necessaarily needs to hear me curse and vent, but I'm in the Bardo now Baby, and when you're in the Bardo, it's all about the EBB... and this is just the EBB, it's just a discharge of pent up feeling of being hurt badly by the disrespect that i have been subjected to, you could say. and when just expressing myself on this matter makes tears well up in my eyes and the beginnings of the thing called sobbing, i have to respect myself that i've earned the right to express my own feelings of my tender heart having been badly hurt by the way i've been treated over the course of this lifetime and especially this past two and one half years.

and if aunt sue is there i hope she is enjoying at least a little bit of vicarious relief at hearing me express feelings that in my mind i imagine she has a measure of her own version of to express, and todd boyle and jerry and people like us who are smart enough to just wear what we have on and get busy trying to make this place called planet earth into a place worth visiting let along staying and living for ever and ever and getting offended by the sickness of inferiority complex that everyone on the planet, or so it seems, has a bad case of that they are somehow completely blinded to, with a few exceptions like the guy who people ought to be lining up already to learn something about respect from, my dear sweet friend LANE, the one that i say no one gets to me except through him... Lane Raspberry, AKA Chiggieflip.

lane, would you be willing to play such a role for me as being the one who has to give his stamp of approval before anyone can see me who hasn't already proven that he isn't just going to insult and offend me?? please? i know you are up for the job, i think its kind of why you showed up in my life in the manner that you did. thanks for considering it lane, i really appreciate it. i love you. i'll definitely put in a good word for you to baby snow, whom i am quite sure will love your your gentle sweetness, like the perfect incestuous son of the perfect incestuous mother and father aspect of myself, that's who you are in my eye's lane, like add lane to the list of people who represent aspects of who i am, which is now up to Todd Boyle, Jerry Goronea, George Soros and Lane Raspberry and throw Daniel of the Judaic Shamanism incident into the mix while you are at it.

but chiggieflip is still the one that i want to clear people with due respect to due respect if he's willing,, and if he needs some help we'll find some others like lane who manifest and exemplify the humility aspect of who charlie is.

and i'm gonna go see if i can give y'all another look at teh queen of sheeba as an example of the sort of woman that i think many women - a vast majority - have a few things to learn from in a manner much like men have to learn from chiggieflip. and if the queen of sheeba has already had all the cameo that she gets and has arrived in greendale, then i hope she will be happy to see me seeking her out so that i can just have a few moments to admire the beauty that shines out of her eyes from the goodness that she holds within her own heart.

if sheeba were a place in this world inhabited still by people whose queen once upon a time was named Sheeba, then i would certainly like to know the name of said place so that we can get busy honoring those people... my best guess as to the ethnic identity of the people of queen sheeba if even a remnant exists to this day would be kenyan, since it would seem that the name kenyatta would suggest exactly such a thing. and ethiopians are in my book an unusually fine nation of people, the experience that i have had working with different ethnicities of people has give me a good impression of ethiopian people.

i do hope that the guy whose name i suppose is Keen is aware of the fact that the good shepherd has been wearing a pair of his sandals almost every day for what must be about two years - except during the period when i wore the molly boots that i also love. those are my favortie footwear of all time. i meant sandals but you could say both.

last year it was at thanksgiving time when i was convinced that i was going to be going to a party in the greenroom of the white house, and it seemed like thanks giving would be an appropriate moment for such a rapturous occaision.. but of course there was a lot yet to "witness unfolding" including the revelations that have occcured in this moment of entering into the bardos now baby period of the journey,,,

just thinking out loud as honestly as i can... i still like the idea of thanks giving as being somehow a holiday that has not yet come fully into its own as something more than the annual "turkey and fixin's eating extravaganza" but actually finally come into its own as a holiday for people who truly do have some thanks that they would like to give,

so if that long day of charlie's turned out miraculously to be exactly a year to the minute, then at 9:33 am sometime a few days from now, i hope to finally be met by a group of very important looking people waiting for me and geroge and my mom and "dad" evert joe, deb and which ever manifestation of willie wonka, whether neil, prem or both to rush back to the temple so as to board the helicopter that at least ONE person i know of doesnt believe that i am crazy for predicting will pick me and my friends up to head for the party in Greendale in the Green Room AHA!!!! nice, i like it... (while landing on the way - perhaps to an airport - on the roof of a department store so that willie can by some (but not all?) of the passengers some nice new clothing, for if ever there was an occaision for which even Grandpa Arius Masanobu Fukuoka might put on some nice clean new duds, said Green family party in said GREEN room in said White House with said Jefferson sort of bedroom with said Declaration of Independence (or TWO for that matter)... perhaps molly has been put to work putting together a little something for me to wear, i sure HOPE SO with all of my heart...

cuz see molly is not one of those boys who comes as a girl just to be in a position to play the role of nurse rachet, like one or maybe two that i know, no (s)he's a lover of boys like me, that is all and i love him or her for being honest with me about it. one of the people to whom i refer is someone whose name would suggest adoration, and if that's a true expression of who she is then i am happy, but if behind the name and the facade of niceness is really someone who just wants to promote alcoholic depression a la nurse rachet, then i am sorry to say there will be no place for her in my family's heavenly abode that i would be so happy to share with her (or him). i really don't know about that one, but soon enough we shall see.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^i have something important to say^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

the realizations that have occured to me in the past few days regarding arius's identity as masanobu fukuoka have shaken a few things up with respect to my understanding of the green family characters and their identities at present.

there is a matter of who sun green's mother is, is it edith or is it like i have said that babysnow the virgin mary, whom i think of as being the mother of jesus and therefore of the christ, is my true mother.

but it now occurs to me that i was not jesus the christ, that was lord Krishna, as just a nice little twist to the story, but i will add that it was made so in such a way that i understand the life of jesus as if it had been my own and even to the nation of israel it may have been made to appear that Jesus was indeed Isaac, Abel and Solomon as I had assumed, and not Lord Krishna of India, the lover of Rada, who i still believe, even moreso now as this all fits very nicely together, is also tVm the tulip queen forever.

if this is true then there is another clue that's been given to me - and i have to wonder, was it deliberately given? I have no doubt that it was deliberate as far as neil young rawat the holy magister ludi is concerned, but what i am puzzling on is whether the person who delivered said clue was aware of what she was really saying to me.

Here is the thing, it's a clue that was given to me by my sweet and lovely mother Edith when she said to me about her own self as my mother: "I am intelligent." Now if ever there was a statement that could illuminate the question of who Edith of Edith and Earl might be this is the one. I am coming to the conclusion in this eleventh hour after possibly having denied my own poor mother who is indeed an above average woman in terms of intelligence this is for sure (just look at the books she has read in this lifetime) and really I can see it so clearly that what was most needed in teh making up of me was Zix which is what my mama has got as opposed to sweet baby snowleopard who's plenty intelligent but whose most assuredly longer on sexiness than zixiness much like her eternal lover Lord Krishna. It really doesn't make nearly as much sense to my "zixth sense" to think of Nina and me having as our mother Palmo when Edith really is the right one to fill the very shoes of Edith of Edith and Earl, the two most intelligent ones capable of together enabling the twin geniuses of Sun Green and her twin sister Luna.

So I hope that dear "Edie" will forgive me for doubting her credentials and i hope that she and everyone will grok with their own zixth sense that the whole picture could not possibly come into accurate focus until i had figured out that Grandpa Green who won't retire but might retread is not simply Prem Rawat, it's more better than that, he's my idol in this life my "wear what i have on father" whose the man with the idea of how to make the greatest single improvement to agriculture as practiced in this world for so many millenia, Masanobu Fukuoka, my father most assuredly Aryan in every possible sense of the word.

So if ya'll will excuse me for thinking out loud on the internet with my little keyboard typewriter thing a ma bobber saying one thing one day and another the next, but i will now officially go on record for whatever its worth that my sweet mumma is indeed my sweet mumma, and i love her of course, i always have, and its just a sweet revelation to have occured at this time and not a moment sooner, for reasons that have to do with the role of the lover that is fulfilled by my sweet brother and lover and father and Love Master, Lord Krishna Prem Rawat, that somehow it seemed to me that was mine to play and all of the challenges that this would have presented if i were to try to fit the square peg of an idea into the round hole of the wrong person (or something like that involving a peg and a hole, one round and one square, you can decide which is which for yourselves... )

and so now that i have been relieved of the idea of having duties that were never mine to fulfill, i feel a tremendous sense of relief and profound appreciation for the perfect magic of the magestic magister ludi in helping me to believe what i need to believe in each moment even if it was specifically not the whole truth, the examples of this are many, the most recent other instance of such beneficial and subliminal deception -besides believing that Prem Rawat would be leaving us soon - was the case of Neil making me convinced that William MOrris was Michaelangelo, just something that was quite helpful in the long run for me to have believed, just like the present case with my dear sweet lover palmo, who may indeed be the one named Ciela if indeed Edith is Edith just like someone with a zix that was quite a bit lower than my own might have thunk/

i love my mumma and if she is my true mumma in heaven then i could not be a happier man.

indeed, i must say that little by little as i am disabused of false understandings i feel better and better and more ready to fulfill my own sacred duty, which i will let neil young rawat say it for me:

your part is to be...what you'll be.

that's what he said, and my part is to be as zixy as can be, and the more i understand things correctly the zixier i will become, do you know what i am saying?