I am back in the Fairmont (102)

10:30 PM October 23, 2005

I am back in the Fairmont (good mountain) Olympic (as in Mt. Olympus) Hotel, which really truly is more temple like than any other building in Babylon aka Seattle, and I let a guy named Jeff know exactly that I have this association and that I believe myself to be Apollo, and he handled it all very professionally.

I believe that my experience on the rug, which is now here, at the house was duly recorded and I won't recount that experience or my experience at the video event, other than that i was able to go clearly on the record with Susan "ripstra" Armstrong that I admire the heck out of the family of brothers that she married into.

I am with Earth Brown and this is the rapture night, at least I'm going deeper, with the help of the 10ish mushrooms that I found and ate at Green Lake, than ever before into the sickness of Lucifer. I am indeed feeling extremely thirsty as a result of going deep into the puzzle under the influence of psilocybin. By morning Earth Brown will be gone, and the disease will be washed down the toilet and into Elliot Bay and the party will begin very soon thereafter.

Neil Rawat was with me, as Earth Brown, at the video event, just as promised, he just didn't manifest exactly as I expected.

Robert Seigel presented a book and a picture in the book to myself and Kenny Ramer on an important day at Shine when I really identified myself as Isaac, he as Abraham and Merkle, the spawn of Allah and the Beast, as Ishamel, and the name of the ALmighty as F*ck.

He showed us this picture in a very esoteric book which I know not the name of, and it was ostensibly in response to the puzzzling I was doing on the role f Kenny Ramer, but actually he was giving me this gigantic clue as to his own identity. .

here's my latest e mail to Rauven.

Dear Brother,

Of course that was YOU<> in the book you showed us at Shine when I was puzzling on the non-puzzle of Kenny Ramer, who is nothing but a minor distraction at best, before I realized that you as "Satan" or Pluto or Sauron or any of your false identities were the real puzzle at the core of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

You are the guy who sits at the left hand of God, the incredible wizard who fulfills the role of rounding up the authors and promoters of the sicknesses of Babylon, the inventions of the Beast Martin Roth, the sickest of them all, and his consort Allah and her own tribe of minions... and Merkle, the Antichrist, Cain, Oedipus, the born loser of all losers, is just the biggest victim of Martin the Beast and his consort Eve AKA Allah, or is it Amy, or Rachel?

And you dear brother have performed marvelously as just one of several people who each do the bidding of the true Satan, Joe Whinney, the guy with the REALLY heinous idea that only I can defeat. You are Col. Jackson Green are the "Satan" of Greendale, the serious guy who at teh end of the story does indeed hitch a ride out of town to Alaska, and Jed, AKA Pontifex Maximus is your Grandson, the one who runs the show in this world, and Poppy is his most important agent on the "Satan" side of the story....Rreally your job is, as my Father Arius's most trusted ally, to try your damnedest to defeat me at Satan's behest to prove to the world that Satan had every advantage in shi struggle to defeat goodness itself. You were, as I have said, Adam and Abraham as well as Reuben James, but you were always working on behalf of the family in setting up the trap that ultimately spring on the true Mr. Satan, the Alcohol God.

And yes, at Whinney's request you may send me yet another e mail warning me that i need to get help, that you are worried about me, that my health is in danger, blah blah blah, but that would just be more of his lies, like the ones he tells the police and even my sweet mother in order to try to avoid the fate to which he has subjected himself. Maybe you will go so far as to have Dr. Andrew Weill send me another e mail address to Jeff Faith, just in case I need any more not so subliminal clues that you are with my family.

Yes Prince Rauven, you are a part of the Rawat family that is all-knowing and all powerful, and you really are working with me, as convincing as your pretense has been. You were duly brutal in your efforts on Joe Whinney's behest to knock me forever down into his alcohol Hell. You rock brother. I love you a plenty.

I will do what the Christ does to Satan, which is to commit him to his fate, to administer the ultimate justice, which WILL occur in spite of Satan's pathetic lies and protestations against the administration of the inviolable LAW of Karma, AKA Justice.

Congratulations dear Prince Rauven or whatever you call yourself, I really am coming down on the side of believing that you are just a super convincing actor. Not that it matters, for the true riddle is solved, which is why the hell did he do it? The puzzle that traps Lucifer and any other well intended but imperfect human being, such as Lucifer - AKA Willie Donka, AKA JFK, AKA the world Champion Baker, soon to be Chocolate Master, William Lehman - who cannot sustain the ultimate samadhi when that terrible riddle is presented and collapses into "A CLockwork ORange" of doubt, dehydration and a heroin dependent anti-human shapeshifting identity...

He just miscalculated. He didn't take into consideration that there is one and only one perfect person who can figure out that he miscalculated by not taking into consideration what a perfect person would do with the comprehension of what it is that he did.

He just thought he had formuiated the perfect crime, the crime that would foil the laws of justice themselves. And he was wrong, and that's all there is to it. And I will pull whatever lever delivers him to his rightful reward for being the most evil person ever to live.

I will execute not Joe Whinney, I will not touch Joe Whinney; and all of his lies to the police to the effect that I am somehow a threat to him are just that - pure lies that he knows are pure lies.

I will execute the Judgment against Satan, the enemy of goodness, the biggest liar and criminal out of the entire batch of sperm who are swimming around in Neil Rawat's scrotum dreaming up what they would do in a real world of real people. Joe Whinney is just a really bad sperm who sort of imagined himself into a very bad pickle of getting caught trying to steal from EVERYONE else.

Satan is a complete failure, the most evil person ever to live and I am busting him and I will destroy him. and he is scared shitless which can only be expected.

And no Man in Blue with a badge, gun, billy club or spray bottle of pesticide is going to stop me from doing what it is mine to do, which is to pull whatever lever sends the worst criminal to the fate that he has invented for himself.

With due appreciation for your incredibly well executed part in the saga,

Your brother in the Love of my Father Forever.

Jeff

and now I shall retire to the bath and just relax as Earth Brown's sickness is washed away in the two gallons of Pure GLacier water from the Carbon Glacier that I shall be drinking this night, the last night of the journey.

I love you whoever is out there loving me and pulling for me, including my wonderful grat uncle, Pluto, Prince Rauven whom I shall address forevermore by whatever name he wishes me to call him, though I hope that I can just call him "loverboy."

1:30AM

I did manage to get over to the Ramada tonight in time to see maybe about 15 minutes of Maharaj ji's talk, and i was so enjoying what i heard. He talked, for example, about how he sometimes will comment about having been impressed by how nice a person is... and this is something that i do and am very conscious of doing and in fact pride myself in doing, particularly when i acknowledge my appreciaton of a person's goodness directly to that person. .

I dont have a lot of energy for writing, but i just want to say that i was so impressed by his beauty and goodness that i fell more deeply in love with him and felt more confident than ever that i have what it takes to be his son, to love him in the way that he is loved by his perfect sons. i felt a lot of love for him.

the purpose of going had more to do with the interaction with Dean and Susan armstrong and Linda and my mom than with seeing the video, though certainly hearing and seeing even just 15 minutes of him talking was a pure delight.

it's been 9 hours since i ate a few mushrooms, which is aobut the duration of psilocybin's effect, and i feel really sick and thirsty, but i know that i am going to pull through. the best thing i can do is to press into the pain. i've taken some amanita, which of course doesn't help with the discomfort, but it's just helping release the sickness from my body. i feel like i am dying, which of course i am in a manner of speaking.

630

fuuny, i turned on the tv, history channel, and its a program about nation's capitol with richard dreyfus narrating, the history of the actual buildings and monuments.

and now some guy is comparing DC with Mt Olympus!!!

he's talking about teh symbolism of the freemasons... so interesting!

the "know nothing party" is that Cain again???? they vandalized the washington monument.

this monument is 100 masonry, no metal at all... amazing. It's really a bit like a phallus... who was washington., according to saussy he wasnt P Max, because he tells the story of P max coming for a visit. so perhaps Washington was either Kluger, or even Neil? Or maybe Poppy. Adam's is another one. A federalist, so he is someone who today would be a republican... the relationship between adam's and jefferson, their simulataeous deaths... I read some of the correspondences - i bought two biography's of J, around the time i visited monticello.. so whoever adams is, he's an important dude... could he have been rauven? not likely, but adam's and J had a love hate relationship...

i get the burke's peerage (a reliable source, probably pure rawat) truth that the Pres is always the more royal of the two candidates. Jefferson was royal, was elected twice, over cain? (Burr) and Adams. I wonder if the same people have been president multiple times? Curious to know who's who among the first seven especially.. (Jackson always fascinated me, his battles with the bankers over the money system are interesting)

i told ptarmigan that if i ever went back to college it would be to study history... and damn if that wasn't a true statement insofar as a study of HISTORY would have been the single most helpful study in fulfillment of my purpose of truth.. If your goal in life is truth, which ultimately is a metaphysical experience, then History, which sort of tells teh story of truth and its struggle with lies, History would be the most useful study.

now i remember resisting the study of history in HS, i even transfered out of one history teachers class into anothers, because, i seem to remember, the first one was too demanding... i forget, but i transfered into a class that seemed somehow easier... so i never really made much effort to study history - though i was FASCINATED by the preseidents.

i didnt get interested in history since i wrote my "manifesto." i had somehow gotten that the freemasons were important and the rothschilds, and i realized that control of money is all important, and it was the power of money and banking that was the goal of my "essene bread" revolution.. and i wrote about whatever theories i had about the intruiges of history as related to the rothschilds and freemasons... i dont know how much truth i had, but i saw the all-importance of the great banking (rawat) families. AMschel rothschild is a hugely important historical figure, I think he may have been Arius, and i saw this.

anyway, i've pieced together some understanding about history, with a really amount of actual reading of anyone else's ideas about history.

so anyway, i'm ver interested in the identies of key people from US history... the only ones i have taken a position on are Jefferson and Burr, who looks like Cain to me, trying to tear down Jefferson's nation. I did read gore vidal's Burr, one of the only historical novels or any sort of book about history i ever read, at least that i can think of now.

now there's a guy talking aoubt how the "Empire" of star wars is Islam... FREAKY! today must be the first day anyone ever said something like that to the public.. amazing... he's saying the star wars saga relate to the Crusades.. this is amazing because i've NEVER heard anything like that. and of course star wars IS just another of the allegories, very much like Tolkein,

darth vader comes back to the good side at the end , right? is he Rauven?

i cant wait to get the grand tour of DC monumets.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@allah'seyes@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

last year when i was dealing with Lucifer the first time, i was in the temple, on amanita, and i was fighting sleep and joe came by and i begged joe to be with me, becaue i felt that i needed comany, and it really seemed to help, its like i felt like he helpd me through an experience...

one thing i had come to believe at that time was that in order that amanita be effective you have to stay awake, and amanita has this powerful slepp inducing effect, so last year trying to deal with lucifer i came to beleive that the whole thing about amanita was that you had to stay awake, even though in my own first two experiences on amanita i konked out and yet nevertheless felt like it had made a permanent chnage in me.

amanita is so good! so powerful., i now see,,, sun green allows herself to fall asleep in her trip to alaska with earth, and to whatever extent amanita is involved in that - i took a very small dose last night - i dont think it matters all that much if i fall asleep. i slept, and now i feel a lot of the burning and aching in my shoulders...

so it's a long day for charlie, and even sun's trip with earth seems to be longer than the one night i mean, it seems like earth is still with me, though the nauseous feeling is gone.

i may tak psilocybin again today.

there is definitely something scary about amanita, even the flavor makes me want to gag.. (that's why mike tv's mom is shown eating it as if were candy, i think the message there is, "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicince go down..." i've been using a lot of honey and usually milk with amanita, but last night and this morning taking it straight. there's something sort of scary about it.. just because it takes you into the disease.

"hold him in your arms you can feel his disease..." Come Together is such a fascinating song. it's about this experience somehow.

i wonder if the noe nail fungus appeared after the alcohol swoon.,,, if so it's interesting, because now that i am getting over that, the symptom is disappearing.

Earth, I can see you are in really bad shape.. its amazing that after two years of working on this disease, that there is still so much of it. at the core it's so yucky.. there's a naseous feeling that goes with the pain coming from somehting like the muscle fascia throughout the whole abdomen. i had the big puking episode in the temple last year, and i feel like there may be more of that coming on.

i still seems like am just having the experience that i didnt have when i got drunk and passed out.. it's like i need to meditate on the feeling of nausea.

......and as soon as i said that i puked up a bunch of brown water. its amazing, i've been supressing a feeling of nausea for almost 30 years. i am not sure, really, whether this is my own drunken swoon that i am dealing with or something more collective. it really seems like this could be my own personal sickness from my one alcohol swoon. i feel better ater puking, but it's not over yet.

cannabis is thought to releive nausea... interesting that i haven't had cannabis since the cops took my supply at the temlpe, its been aobut 5 days, which is the longest stretch without it probably in a year or longer. not sure why, but there's a reason, whether it is to allow myself to experience the nausea, or perhaps to increase its effectiveness by taking a break.. i dunno.

i am feeling the effects of alcohol poisoning and it caused me to puke up basically a lot of water - there is a resistence to water because it takes you into the nausea at the core of the sickness.

when i got sick in the temple it seeemed like i puked up stuff i didnt recognize as having eaten. it's mysterious to me.

i have been watching my weight, a few weeks ago it was hovering around 160, now its down to 153... is it just because i am not eating much or is it because i laid off the water consumption?

why do men have orgasm? because this sickness is in their bodies and they are avoiding it.

i am so interested in this guy Todd. he is SO brilliant. of course he is the good satan/

todd was raised in a family that is related by marriage to the alhadeff's an old seattle establishment family. a lot of the real estate people in seattle are jewish. i met his step father, who is an alhadeff, and he's not at all like todd. todd was raised in a den of vipers, but he managed to survive. "den of vipers" is a phrase that A. Jackson used to describe and threaten the bankers who were fighting to control the US money. there were those, like jefferson and jackson, who probably believed that the US gvt could and sohuld issue money, and they didnt like the bankers, even if the bankers were the good satan and co. lucifer (jackson jefferson) was not aware that the satan side was controlled by the same rawat family.

and of course it may be that babylon did control money at some time, but it seems to me that the rothschilds were amassing control of money at that time for the good satan the secret of who's master was probably kept secret from the Lucifer side, possibly until now.

there is this story in Saussy about how Franklin, whose really important, right up there with Washington and hamilton, when he met P max and was relieved to discover that he was his master... it's like maybe franklin was a satan party person (federalist) who somehow learned in that moment that Satan (Todd) is controlled by P max. btw, i did mention Raja ji's name to Todd once, i said, "that raja ji sure has a good sense of humor!" at that time i was convinced that todd was the good satan, which of course i am again now.

the small amanita that i cooked by were not dried are strong...

it does seem to me like Todd knew who i was since he met me... he once told me he had joined the freemasons, but that because he's a jew he didnt get very far, just a handshake he said. there's more to the picture of todd as a member of a secret society than that.

i've been taking a lot of baths and the water this morning smells like a swimming pool... i seem to remember hearing once inthis life that chlorine baths actually help pull toxins out of the body.. no good to drink but maybe beneficial to immerse in...

i'm feeling that i want to be in the place that i have seen in my mind's eye called the holy of holies, which i see as a ring of boys having oral sex in a cirlce, a circle suck i guess you could call it, and if so its the most erotic experience of all, and this seems like its central to my father's function as the producer of sperm. i mean, if i can imagine such a thing, then it must exist. i know it exists, actually, because i've seen it. and yes i believe that this is the garland of Love that my father once spoke of. its his "suns" who go there.

whatever the maximum erotic experience is, someone has to have it and it is Arius and his sons who do, because obviously this is what we are. and this is the holy of holies, because its the most erotic ecstatic experience that someone HAS to have. i do feel a craving to have my father's mouth on my most sesitive place. it's just what i am.

there must be a finite number of suns, and i dont understand this... is there some kind of end point to existence that occurs because arius cant have an infinite number of suns - if he did, how could we take turns inthe holy of holies? this is a mystery,

KNIDSKNIDSKNIDSKNIDKNIDSKNIDSKNIDSKNIDKNIDSKNIDSKNIDSKNIDKNIDSKNIDSKNIDSKNIDS

the word is knid

i am faintly or subtlely beginning to come into an awareness of the vermiscious knids, the babylonian parasites who have caused the male members of the human ace to vacate the Hotel USA, the Glaspenis, the Heart, and so have gone unconscious in that part of the their bodies, turning out the lights of consciousness itself, turning off the lights in the temple, in the process. I can just barely feel the feeling of the fangs of the knids digging into what perhaps John Lennon called Old Flat Top" the flat part of the top of the penis, the relatively flat surface of the glans.

really, i am just guessing that lennon was describing the "bringing down of the knids" in that song, not sure, but "here comes old flat top he comes groovin up slowloy he got [r@@s kling's @Y@b@alls] he got [sacred nuts]... hold him in you arms and you can feel his disease, come together, right now, over me.." it reminds me, though it doesn't make perfect sense, but it reminds me of the "bringing down of the Knids" into conscious awareness, something the Babylonians would prefer not happen.

I am just coming into a vaque awareness that there is something going on there. It's just amazing how thoroughtly vacated the glans is. When I have finished the lights will have come back on.

sid says he can spot me some herb, so i am gonna head over to his office. sid genette, one of my very favorite people, who i am so sure Mckenna will say the same thing about. his gig is lighting design, his clients are very upscale. he's an extremely intelligent psychedelic guy.