2:30 here are the lyrics to the first song that i ever really meditated on by lstening to a recording of it over and over:
Out in the Country by Three Dog Night
Out where the rivers like to run Before the breathin' air is gone Out where the rivers like to run Before the breathin' air is gone Out where the rivers like to run Before the breathin' air is gone |
its a lot like the poems I was writing at the time... the song was recorded in 70, but i was listening to it a few years later, maybe 74 or 75. there is actually a cryptic message contained in this song that i never would have noticed had i not copied and pasted it here and then read it... its in this line:
"Whenever I feel them closing in on me"
who is "them," and who is the implied "us" that he the songwriter is refering to?
my guess is simple, the "us" is israel, and the "them" is babylon. its the pot smoking hippy saying, " whenever i feel [the alcohol-drinking adults] closing in on me..."
so maybe this is sort of a prophetic revelation... that lyric was inserted in this song back in 70 possibly for the reason that i would identity the "them" as being the alcohol-addicted people of babylon and take this as proof that three dog night not only were Israel, but knew it, and the amazing thing is, i would never have noticed had i not wanted to report to the world, as a way of understanding who i am, that this song resonated with me more than just about any other song. its like an anthem of my whole life...
they get to me, they disgust me, so i just head for the mountains were they are not, and i enjoy the beauty that they have destroyed wherever they go. it's like, if you build a road, babylon will come, so i go where there are no roads, the wilderness. why does the christ like the wilderness? because its sublime, and its where babylon, the alcohol nation, isn't. this whole world was pristine once, even while humans who did not consume alcohol were living in it, witness the americas before the advent of alcohol. pristine. all of the ecosystems were thriving and intact. the total biomass that was once in the form of large wild charismatic beasts like grizzly bears, bison and elk has been replaced by cattle grown for sick people to make themselves sicker with. and its not a wilderness anymore.
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whoever operates the chain of small natural and organic food stores in the bay area called Real Foods is excellent and their efforts are praiseworthy. I have no idea who they are, but they've got something going on.
I noticed when i lived in the bay area almost 20 years ago that they had the most awesome produce displays in their stores, one of which is across the street from the "rawat residence" here at Paranassus and Stanyan, and the produce selection, virtually all local stuff from growers whose names and locations are displayed with the produce, mostly organic, is just excellent. they were back then as now the very best retailer of food that i've really ever seen in terms of scale -very personal, small, friendly - and quality. no one else i've seen who operates such small stores maintains the level of quality of fresh produce, which to me is the single greatest criterea by which i would judge a grocery store. Even though their store is tiny, the have the best overall quality i've ever seen. Like take a Whole Foods produce dept, shink it by 90% in square footage, and then just put all of the very best stuff from the whole foods store, make it all organic and local, and there you have it.
This neighborhod, cole valley, is a really nice neighborhood, and its only four blocks from school. and its a nice apartment, two nice big sets of bay windows one in the bedroom, one in the living room, al of which look out onto a peaceful and very quiet view of the backyards of this house and the neighboring ones, windows on two sides of the kitchen, tons of light, perfectly quiet, tons of "OWC"... it's like she found the gem for the same price as the much lesser quality stuff around here. My father's Grace at work. this feels like home, being here with my beloved, who really is the center of my universe. because she is the sweet one with the love that just melts you into her sweetness. she is very happy to have her lover here with her.
oh, and you don't see much organic valley milk in the bay area, they probably arent producing in this area, but the real foods store fortunately has an alternative to HOrizon, its called CLover Organic and i dont know what their practices are, but still, even when i was here before my recent premonitions about retzloff, i bought this other brand and shunned teh Horizon. Basically, since I witnessed that discussion with Retzloff, Siemons and Kirschenmann, I have probably never bought Horizon milk, or if I ever did ONLY if it was the only thing available, but honestly i cant really remember ever buying HOrizon milk. It's got a bad vibe, I just dont like it.
the thing i cant stand about the Horizon attitude is the presumption that teh consumer would care more about the effects on their own health of the antibiotics or the feed supliments or the pesticide residue in the feed than they would care about the effects on their mood of living in a world in which people are willing to take cows and plug them into a matrix-like system of maximum exploitatonj.., let alone caring about the poor cow's experience of its own life. SICKNESS!!! Plug that retzloff guy into a matrix-system of maximum exploitation that benefits cows. PLease! he deserves it.
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fukuoka is the one who first alerted me to a truth that i have since noted other people as having said earlier, but he's the one who brought my attention to it. the native grasses of western north america have all been replaced by alien plant species. "cheat's taken over" to paraphrase someone who spoke on this problem. this is a result of the abuse of both the land and cattle that have been forced to overgraze it more than anything else. i hope we are somehow able to give a fresh start to our ecosystems, and of course we will have some new pictures to work with... there are people out there who are developing systems of animal husbandry that preserve and even enhance the health of the envirnoment. it has to do with mimining natual systems as closely as possible. building fences and just having cattle wandering over the land munching any little blade of grass that manages to pop its head up just isnt a system that mimics nature in any way. It's about moving animals around, people who raise livestock, not dairy cows but meat animals are nomadic or semi nomadic. They do a lot of walking. I think i've done a bit of that myself.
SPeaking of which I love goats as well as sheep, only moreso. Goats kind of turn me on. YOu've heard the myths about shepherds and sheep, well here is a shepherd whose confessing that goats turn him on...whaddya think of that? When i've gone to state fairs i always gravitate to the goats, they are intelligent and they are friendly they cooperate.. goats are animals as perfectly suited to soexistence with humans as cows.. my dad's the cow guy, i'm sort of the son who's into goats, not that i dont appreciate the cow. goats have a place in the world i envision that is much greater than it has been in the recent past.
also sheep produce incredible milk, and the milking of sheep, mostly for cheese, is something that i believe could increase. )can we have fermentation in our deathless world?? i dunno, i dont really understand technicalities like that.. does the line "and the lion lay down with the lamb" mean that no animal will ever predate another animal in our Heaven? i may have said that myself, but so far in this life, i am not sure how to interpret that. do lions enjoy teh hunt and the kill? it seems like they are sort of made for it, so i just dont understand this sort of thing. how can there be death and carnivorism in a heaven? maybe there isnt/. i just dont know. certainly we know there will be dairy. if animals are slaughtered for meat, then all i know is that it will be done in a way that OPTIMIZES the experience for the animal's sake and not for the people who are taking the lives of the animals. It's a really grey zone for me. for those living in the etherworld, is there death, is there carnivorism? i dunno. i'm not quite there yet.
i am especially interested in goats as pack animals suited for wildernesss travel, a job for which i believe they are superior to horses, mules or llamas, which are all more common as pack animals than goats. they are descended from or at least relaated to mountain goats after all. One of the books that ive read as an adult that most thrilled me was Goatwalking by the Quaker peace and justice activist (who probably never uses the word top ten major leading to describe himself or anyone else) named (as i recall) Jim Corbet or something like that. It's a philophical musing about life, wilderness, the yearning in our hearts for realness and about his wanderings with goats in the wilderness as a member of a sort of underground railroad, helping illegal immiagrants travel long distances through the SOnoran desert using the milk of the lactating goats with which he travels as a food source. cool. ./// its an obscure book that resonates on my frequency. he could be a reincarnation of Thoreau, honestly, he seems of that caliber and mind set, even if he is not as popular in this lifetime. really jim corbett is the person i am aware of in the world who i would say is most likely to have been the reincarnation of Henry David Thoreau.
Whoever John Muir was, he is an important person in his current or most recent lifel. Like Stegner maybe someone like that. I've even though NY might have incarnated as Muir, but i htink that life might have overlapped with Darby, who I am very confident in predicting was NY. JOhn Muir was a god-like sort of person in my opinion. definitely an important Israelite. The American WIlderness is just a stupendous creation, an incredible idea, and the people who explored it first Lewis and Clark, Powell, Muir and others were no doubt close to the Creator who invented that magnificence. I would have loved to have lived the life of John Muir myself, that's a possibility as well. I love his stories. I visited Glacier Bay ALaska where he spent a fair bit of time studying glaciers... (possible NY clue there) and sensed there the life that he had. My friends Gerald and Kristin and I spent an incredible week kayaking and camping in the wilderness of Glacier Bay National Park about three summers ago. a great and memorable experience.
It reminds me of the book i read by an amazing woman healer who was an early and leading propoenent of wheat grass. ann WIgmore. She wrote a book called why suffer that i LOVED, in which she spoke of her life growing up with a grandmother who was a great medicine woman in Lithuania or somewhere,,, and she lived a life of herding goats and eating simple rye bread and goat cheese, the kind of life I dream of living. I really hope that these sorts of books, the stories of people like ann wignore and jim corbett get some attention as a result of me sharing about my life and impressions. Fukuoka. Everyone should study FUkuoka, just wrap their minds around the simplicity and wisdom of his thinking.
who's the writer who did writing seminars at stanford who writes about the west and who wendell berry admires so much??? you know, he's a writer i've read a little bit of, there is something about him, and its certainly affirmed by the accolades that his peers have bestowed upon him that make me think he is an important member of a tribe of writers or something like that. of course the name comes to me,, wallace stegner... he's probably an important member of a group of israelite writers, sort of sub-tribe leader if there were such a thing in Israel as subtribes, which makes sense to me that there would be 12x12 subtribes of 1000 men. i've said i believed there are, and its sketchy, it just makes sense to me, thats all.
i see him with aldo leopold, wes, wendell, the whole panoply of people ive mentioned who write about the earth- nabhan, broomfield, those guys... writers who are really salt of the earth guys. i love em. they're like these father figures, wise elders of the Earth Tribe, a term I used - if not coined - in one of my first two or three ads. they're hippy but they lived as members of a very conservative generation, brokaws "greatest generation, " not all of them are of that age, but the image i have is of men - like brokaw's predecessor in the news anchoing business, whose name i mentioned recently, walter cronkite - who brought light to the world whether they had short hair or long, their hearts were still young and enthusiastic, who were expressing postive things in the world.
gretel erlich, terry tempest williams, these women are related to the men i just mentioned. I LOVE the writing of Terry Tempest williams, the unspoken hunger is a great collection of stories and the memoire she wrote of the women in her family and the bird refuge is incredible. she speaks admiringly of her husband, whose name I believe is Tempest. They are Mormons. While I have little regard for or knwledge of Mormonism, I would say, if there is a Mormon man is the USA who is Nation of Israel, then it's Terry Tempest Williams's husband.
i use the word hippy to mean kid who doesnt want to take on the disease of adulthood. peter pan is a hippy. like i've been "saying" hippies and kids are all we've got in heaven, and those hippies include the likes of Wendell Berry and Wallace Stegner, and i doubt they will object to the characterization. Prem Rawat came to this country to speak to the hippies, and look at those old films of his early talks... nothing but hippies.
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do I know a few things? if i do, it's cuz i have a really knowledgable dad named Arius, and I'm a chip off the old block...
i have a vague image of a book by stegner, i think its called angle of repose, if i remember correcly its a collection of short stories that i loved. there may be something about it that i need to say... this is really vague, maybe its just the photo that i am associating with the cover, its like an ansel adams photo or something like that... maybe the point is to mention ansel adams and his photographic pioneer ilk as nation of israel..
just to follow that stream, i really LOVE black and white photography, i learned to do darkroom work with my dad in his lab as a kid. i consider black and white photography, and film making for that matter, to be a higher artform than color. there is so much subtlety to black and white photographic imagery. sometimes when i see a black and white movie on tv i just want to watch it for the sake of the imagery, which i never have felt with color. it's like the mastery involved in producing excellent black and white film or still photography is greater, and more sublime than color imagery. really, it is a sublime quality that i am reaching to identify as this difference. i liked the idea of photography as an adolescent, but i never did very much and havent taken pictures- with a few exceptions- since i had the camera i took on my trip to europe in '76 was stolen.
i look at many peoples' obsession with photography to be a weakness. i see tourists who go around looking at things and taking pictures as having the most superficial experience that they could possibly have. i sometimes have the thought, "that would be a cool photo" just like so many people do, but the idea of trying to capture an experience by taking a picture is so weak. people who do that are not having a real experience, they are not seeing into the experience, their focus is too sharp, they have the alcohol focus, and they need to let go into the expeience. it's just a very unsublime expression to go around snapping pictures as a way of preserving an experience. photography is an art form, particularly when it is done in b&w. it's kind of useless as a way of preserving experience.
i had a cool encounter with a REALLY GOOD photographer up in the white chuck basin/ white pass area where i have gone backpacking every summer now since the year i met him there about 5 years ago. same spot, i return at least once every year. It's my sacred place, "sherpananda point" is the name of the exact spot where i usually set up camp, it's like my personal perch on Mount Olympus., It was named by by erstwhile hiking buddy bejurin, who coined and gave to me the name sherpananda, which i really thought hit the bullseye. I like the name SHerpananda. He gave he name because I had assisted both he and outr friend Aiy'm who came up and joined us with their burdens. I sort of expresses the love of the mountains, the willingness to work and help out, and of course the joy that the name "anand" suggestsl, and it also implies that this happiness is experienced in being a sherpa, in being a person of the mountain wilderness, which i am...
I had a premonition during that period of so many premontions last fall that "the double e rancho" where sun lives with earl and edith (NY and the teletubbie goddess) is a real piece of property located at Whistler, which is "a couple of miles over the hill" from Westport on the sunshine coast of BC., which i sort of imagined could have actually have been taken over by the green family and friends, a sort of secret Rome, hiding on the far west coast of N, america. I love to ski. I ski telemark or free heel style and i am an expert skiier, I can pretty much ski anything that 99.999% of skiers can ski, i don't do "extreme" skiing, but anything short of it is fine.
Telemark is as different from downhill as soccor is from football. it is graceful, like a dance. It's a trance. its ecstatic, a controlled and graceful fall down a mountiain on two skinny boards attached only to the toes of my boots, and the ride is like dancing through the contours of the slope... i love it and honestly I think NY knows me well enough to know this, so my little premonition could be a reality. i have been saying for years that one regeret that i have in life, and there are only about two that I can think of, this one and the loss of my thick surly hair - well, I suppose I could add the poor state of my dental health to the list, but on that list has been that i never spent one winter in some ski town as a ski bum/.. one reason being that ski towns are alcohol towns, and i dont like being around alcohol-imbibing people. but if whislter, say, could be turned into a town of potsmoking hippy ski bums, then winter would be a total gas form begining to end.
if the double e does happen to be in WHhistler, then I think i will be there soon, and i have seen pictures that randomly and sort of bizzarely appeared in my life of the hobbit/psilocybin mushroom house ala bilbo baggins that most surely would be the double e, like i say, if it is a real house located anywhere north of the californea/oregon border. greendale... is there a place where a lot of enlightened people live together in one town??? if so there are only three places i would guess: Malibu or somewhere near there, Half moon bay or environs, or westport BC, which would be my first choice, the only town that i would say i had an intuitive premonition was the location of greendale.. once again, "teh light bouncing off ogf the towers (ski lift towers) heading down to the green" suggests whistelr to me.
whilstler has several golf courses down below those towers, and teh mushroom house could conceivable be located on one, and since i also love to play disc golf, it would actually make sense to have a house in a ski town on a golf course.
If i leave my body in one place, and sort of rematerialize in another, the other would either be in the green room of the white house OR in like maybe the bathtub of the mushroom house/ double e rancho in whistler.
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anwyway, this guy is named Dick Balnicky. he came to my house and did a slide show of his pictures for some friends of mine and my moms, all taken in the wilderness areas that i love. he was camped up in this spot for a month, working on his photography. now THAT"S my kind of photography. if you're gonna shoot pictures make it your passsion in life, otherwise forget it, and just HAVE the experience instead of substituting the having of it by pointing a camera at it. DIck Balnicky is in a samadhi when he's in his creative mode. he gets up before dawn to get the good shots when the light is optimal.. he's passionate. he carries a 100# pack filled with supplies for two weeks at a time and photo gear, and he really takes some mean pictures, color, which is perfectly fine. He's living fully and photography is not some kind of crutch that he uses to justify his existence. it's his creative expression and he absolutely excels at it.
DIck Balnicky works for FEMA either directly or through the red cross. i havent heard from him in a long time, after we met we stayed in touch for a year or so, talked about taking a trip together. the memory of meeting him, the exact spot by the trail where a stream crosses and the stream bed is filled with purple and yellow monkey flower, and the water is fresh and perfectly drinkable without being run through one of those manifestations of paranoia that most hikers carry nowadays but that i myself shun as a symptom of a sickness, water filters... . we jus both stopped, we were going in opposite directions on this little unmarked trail more than ten miles on foot from the nearest road, and we just talked for like an hour or so. I really made a meaningful connection with dick balnicky and his dog - whose name is on the tip of my tongue - and i cannot help but believe he is one of us. dick balnicky is an open hearted and very creative man. just someone i met on a trail in the mountains. That was all, I think he was on his way out to resupply for the second two weeks, and i was heading over the same short cut over a ridge that probably gets crossed by no more than ten people in a year. i loved the place so much - as dick does, this wasnt his first multiweek stay in this same spot, that i returned a week later with Helen and got a chance to get to know dick better and to follow him around on his picture hunting adventures. its amazing how he SEES an incredible picture waiting to be taken.
That was the weekend that Helen and I really finally broke up, after we had officially declared ourselves engaged. Dick was sad to know that Helen and I were reaching this point. but of course it was inevitable. Helen and I will be married after all, we BOTH had a premonition before we met (our parents set us up) that we would be married, and I cant see why Helen wont be a part of our family.
i am just rambling around in my past, sharing "memories dreams and reflections," if you know what i mean... if anything i am just demonstrating the breadth of the sorts of impressions and thoughts that i have had as a person living in the USA since 1958. i dont have anything important to say about wallace stegner, other than that he's a person i know of who strikes me as being a man of the highest integrity... how do i form such an idea? well, it's an aura that he has, his words, they come from wisdom and goodness, but it doesnt hurt that i happen to have gotten to know wendell berry just a little bit over the years, and i think he is a giant of a man, he has exceled in the ways that he has strived to excel, and he refers to stegner as a mentor, so how could stegner not be an awesome man?
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1130 back "home" at the apartment that really is my home in important ways, not teh least of which is that i cover the \cost of the rent here... it just works out since otherwise i would spend the same money at the b&b that we stayed last year when i visted because her place was too small.... went to baker beach, probably my favorite spot in SF and original home of the burning man festival - for a walk, and then the urge to express more thoughts brought me back here.
speaking of burning man, the guy who invented it, i dont know his name, never met him, know very little about him, but the magnitude and trippyness of what he has created suggests one thing - he is almost surely a descendant of Jacob. burning man attracts plenty of babylonians, i heard sid even took jon and tovallah ramer with him this year... but burning man is pretty psychedelic in the idea of it, the lay out,, its all very intelligent.
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i remembered the exact words of the patarmigan poem.
Ptarmigan Ptarmigan Ptarmigan Teal
is faced with a terrible plight,
whether to fly south in winter,
or turn white.
i really have a feeling that whomever wrote that, a family friend i seem to recall, will probably have something to say about it.
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What i've been doing with my writing today especially is just to lay out some of the names of the people whose ideas and work i've noticed along the way. my whole life has been like a fact finding mission, putting together the pieces of the puzzle. I've been carrying the dream of Heaven, and so I am open to every clue, whether it be in the subliminal realm, or something out in the world.
You can obviously see that I'm a generalist, I've been piecing a lot of different peices together, but there is abviously an emphsis on living, the basics of what it takes to have the father, the mother, the cow, the grass, the flute without ruining anything. The emphasis is on farming related issues just because those are so basic to life. its just how we harness the sun's energy and turn it into useful things.
that last sentence reminded me of Wes Jackson's sunshine farm and the idea of really studying and understanding the implications of how we live in terms of energy consumption and efficiency. All we are really talking about here is applying intelligence to the living of life. attaining the intelligence is step one, applying it is step two. so many of the people who have struck me as unusually intelligent in this lifetime are people working in these fields related to how human beings can live sustainably in a world like this one, whether its about agriculture, or the many people i've been naming or about money, sovereignty, justice, identity and exchange, the tom greco team. and then of course there is the music people and the artists.
i mean, as suggested by the four techiques of Knoweldge, there are experiences that involve vision- making beautiful things to look at like art, clothing, landscapes and human environments, , hearing - making beautiful sounds, feeling sensation - love is big there, but also comfort, a well designed chair for example, and taste - food is a big one in the taste arena, along with soma. so those are the basics of life. and so the important and creative people are working in those arenas.
teh preceding paragraph contains a reference to human environments that immediately brings christopher alexader's design book "a pattern language" to mind. i am not sure how applicable his ideas will be in Heaven, but he certainly strikes me an intelligent guy whose put forth ideas worthy of my belief that "a pattern language" could in some sense be a rawat copyrighted book.
there are well formed ideas out there in virtually every realm of human existence, waiting to be implemented and they will be. rapidly! and soon. it's about time the people thinking of the good ideas, and not just satan with his really bad ideas, get a chance to express their ideas.
the core idea of burning man that makes it great, and it has served the rainbow gathering community well too, is the idea of the gift economy. sure, we'll probably have money, eveven if just as a sort of grounding force, something to make transaction fully meaningful, but everything will be done in the spirit of giving, and the work that the burning man people have done to just introduce the idea of practicing a gift-based economy is very worthwhile. to me burning man is an important phenomena, regardless of its imperfections... its a step in a good direction. once again, a higher percentage of people who go to burning man and the major musci festivals that i've mentioned are israel than perhaps could be found clustered anywhere on earth other than the green room of the white house on certain celebratory occaisions...
imagine if wealth were an indication solely of how much a person has truly given, and threfore had coming by the law of karma. Money could be exactly this, and it SHOULD be this. There is no reason why it shoulldnt be an accurate measure of what a person has coming based on how much of value they have given.. money in the truest sense of the word.. We live in a world where people want to have money by virtue of luck, everyone dreams of wining the lottery, hitting the big jackpot in some way, get rich quick schemes, wealth without desert, without effort, without really being owed anything by anyone by virtue of having given.
When i gave the $1k to Benny on my way past him yesterday, he accepted it with gratitude, as if he knew he had it coming, like there is a person who gives without taking and when i handed him the 10 c notes it just felt right to him that someone in the world could appreciate who he is enough to recognize him. i have to say, that whole experience of encountering him the first time, speaking to him- there was another person there who was also a part of the conversation - about Rumi, , handing him a nice c note, then heading for the cafe, writing about him saying i wanted to give him more money that i already had, doing it, and then feeling his incredible gratitude, not at being given money, but at being shown that he is seen, understood and appreciated, loved! by someone whom he loves and who he feels has love to give that he is worthy to receive. I dont know Benny's last name, but if it isnt "Goldsworthy" then maybe it's "Loveworthy."
by the way, he told me he had been beaten up by punks four days in a row, and noted how timely it seemed that he would be able to get a room and take care of himself after being beaten up repeatedly by punks.. I tell you, its an amzing coincidence that this person who builds temples and has them torn down by drunken punks, who lives within a one block radius of the temple, and really gets what the ecsstatic poets are talking about.... he's just a temple person following his own instincts which were to be become what he is and what he has become is exactly who he is, someone who loves, who is creative, who is open hearted, who wants to express his creativity in a poisitive way - which if anyone thinks andy goldsworthy has a poisitive expression in this world then they would have to agree with me that Benny does as well, he is no less talented or worthwhile as an artist than andy goldsworthy - but who just doesnt want to play the games, like my brother. these are my fathers favorite children,,, benny and some of the other nobodies that i've noticed and given a little bit of love to. there is no expenture of a thousand dollars that i've ever made that gave me more satisfaction that my gift to benny. its right up ther with the support that i have to thione diop, which was of a magnitude of order greater.
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sure enough, i bet it'll come out that Benny really is the reincarnation of van gogh or someone like that, and everyone will be amazed, once again, that i somehow recognized him when others were just kicking over his beautiful stone creations.
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it seems that the more deep a samadhi i attain while writing, the longer the sentences tend to get... its like long but coherent, well structured sentences, Joyce - who i have never read, i just wasn't much of a reader in this life- comes to mind, and Mckenna comes to mind as in intelligent READER of writers who write in long intelligent sentences, as well as a writer of supremely intelligent thoughts himself, which he commuicates using shorter sentences that he is probably capable of writing or even instinctually wants to, but that he avoids using because he's trying to be accessable as well as intelligent. Joyce didn't pander to the masses so much..
This is just a thought about thinking... people who write in long intelligent sentences have a great deal of whatever you call the ability to sustain an experience of samadhi... which really is called "intelligence." There is no real intelligence that is not derived from an ability to hold a steady series of logical intelligent thoughts without interuption, without losing the train of thought....
this provides an explanation for why Satan made his mistake, his miscalculation, and why I am able to defeat him: it has to do with my superior ability to sustain a state of samadh,i in this case in comparison to satan, beyond the point that he thought possible. I am better than satan, therefore more intelligent, therefore able to defeat him. he does seem like an intelligent guy, its hard to get why he would do something so wrong, let alone stupid in the sense of involving a lack of intelligence that if applied would have pre empted him from commiting his crime. just a pure miscalculation on his part. he thought he knew something, but he was wrong. and i figured it out because i am more intelligent than he gave any member of the human race credit for being. close call, but good does win over evil, and someone had to show up capable of defeating him.
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the only time i eer removed material from this site is when joe requested that i remove his name, so i googled, found the hit, and just lifted out a huge set of writings that i wrote last november when i first began having the powerful telepathic chanelling experiences that i refered to as the rapture... it was the begnining of charlie's long day in the elevator with Mr. Wonka.
I will probably try to put those back up, somehow i dont think joe is going to complain, since his name is now all over this site. much of what i had to say then was very prescient, and it belongs in this document of my experience, so its coming back.
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my mom and i had a good conversation in the aftermath of my harsh e mail to her last night.. mothers have a grip on their sons that has to be loosened and i am working on loosening her grip on me. women cant think they own their sons. sons belong to their fathers ultimately, mothers are to be lovers, not "parents" fathers are our true parents as men and it is only they who should exert such energies in the lives of their sons.
my mom has the allah disease that my lover palmo does not have, but my mom's case of it is mild and is being overcome as my mother experiences me being defiant of her wish to control me or to drag me into her worrying... her worrying is really not much better for me than mary ann rossi's guilt tripping as far as i can tell.
this is something that is happening in my mother's life that will also be a topic of discussion when it comes to addressing what women must need to do if they are going to be in my heaven. they need to just let the boys be the boys. boys have a deeper level that they experience on, more deeply intuitive and telepathic, and women just need to relax and yield certain things to men that they cannot begin to understand.
the two women who will be held up as the most exemplary models of female behavior will be Mary, the mother, and magdelaine the sister, of the christ. but my mom's ability to withstand the challenges of being my mother and just her general goodness will also be held up as a model of goodness in a woman.
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i had my stash of cannabis confiscated by the police officers that joe whinney summoned to the Temple yesterday to have me removed... Can you believe the irony of that???? The alcohol king has the plice remove me from my temple, and they take my weed too!. i mean, this story really goes to extremes, makes sure that all of the bases are covered.
if anyone is interested in jeff's prince rauven reading of the moment, i think it's swinging back to that he turned. i can see where he might have thought Joe had me beat... that he really is Sauron. He thought Satan had us beat.
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830 am
i'm back at my favorite SF haunt, the canvas cafe, across the street from golden gate park.. it's a cool trendy place with lots of art, and a concrete floor. one of my least favorite things is concrete floors, concrete buildings, concrete pavement... can we do away with concrete??? i'm interested in unpaving paradise and taking down all of the parking lots. i mean, i agree with my father, the car IS a cool invention, but i think it's gotten just a little bit out of hand...
there are beter ways of paving that are not impervious. just brick or stone allows water to trickle down. Geneive vayda, a somewhat outspoken and super intelligent woman round these parts told me about something called grasscret, it's just like a grid of some kind - maybe concrete would work - that creates traction and then grass grows in between. i know that dirt roads are a major source of particulates in the air, but we need somehting besides concrete and asphalt to move around on. rails are good for moving stuff, it's kind of a travesty the way trucking supplanted rail, it's so much more wasteful. rail could be making a big comeback soon.
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Prem Rawat is Arius Green because he was Arius of ALexandria, no doubt, and no doubt he strongly identifies with this identity and name. The intuition there is pretty solid. I want to reiterate that i believe that the word Aryan must be related to Arius, and I am just going to say that the Rawats and the nation of Israel make up the true "Aryan Nation." Aryan to me implies a certain look that i simply associate with sexy boys. Daniel has it, Josh Bernstein has it. Dylan has it. The image I have of Arius has it. White to olive skin, strong sexy nose, dark curly hair, very bright eyes. The three men who depicted the Rawats in whatever film I saw on Trinity in which they visited Abraham had the look i am talking about. Raja ji has the look, in this life, that i am talking about more than maharaj ji. there are myths about this race coming down from the caucusus. I dunno, but it intuitively sounds about right. is there a "port" in the caucusus?
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i feel like i am coming home. those books that lane gave me, the one thing i really GOT from those books is THE PICTURE of Krishna, Rada, the cow, the flute, the grass. (I forget if there is a tree, but in my mind there is a tee.) It's almost like as Krishna and Rada's son, me looking at that picture is like looking at my destiny.
It all comes down to the father, the mother, the cow, the grass, the flute, and everything that this implies... the rain, the sun, the moon, people to make the flute and whatever vessel that the milk goes in, the fruit the honey, a jar to put the honey in, and on it goes... It's the picture of Heaven, the picture. The Picture. of Heaven. Because if you think of just exactly what it takes to make this picture a reality, you realize that what you see in that picture is the basis for a perfect world.
I can FEEL myself coming into the sublime feeling of what that picture means. and being with my mother now feels so much like home. Just lying next to her and holding her is ecstatic. She is the ultimate meditation, though teh whole picture is the perfect package... it includes the father and the cow. the cow is itself worthy of worship, not to mess with any sacred cows or anything( or to step on any religious toes),,, i think the cow IS sacred and worthy of our attention. She is a part of the PICTURE of PERFECTION, the perfect picture that my mother and father have been holding in their minds for a long long time.
since i started thinking about farming and sustainable living i have felt powerfully attracted to the idea of using horses and other draft and pack animals for moving things around, for doing work in general. actually, when you think about cattle and how to live with them in a humane and loving way, the question comes up about what to do with the bulls. oxen. ues them as draft animals. they are considered by many as being as worthy as horses for many applications as draft animals.
There is a man who speaks poetically, ecstatically really, about draft animals. His talks at one of the sustainable ag conferences was one of the most inspiring talks ive ever heard. His name is Lynn Miller. He publishes the beautiful journal of "practical horse farming," the SMall Farmer's Journal. i recently let my subscription lapse, but i subsribed for a couple years. even though i never really read it, i just liked supporting who he is... Lynn Miller is a beautiful man and will have much to teach us about farming as it was meant to be done. he waxes ecstatic about the joys of working with horses and specifically talks about his appreciation of the sounds and smells of it compared with tractor work... as an EXPERIENCE it is vastly superior. one is heaven the other hell. Lynn miller will be an important person in the farming side of things in Israel if i have anything to do with it.
in my wanderings around the farming regions- i just about stopped and begged the AMish people to forgive me for polluting their air and making too much noice when i would see them in their buggies along the road- I was with Ptarmigan at the time, we stopped at Malabar Farm and I learned a bit about what went on there. Wes Jackson compiled this incredible anthology of essays "From the Land" that had some connection to Malabar and Louis Broomfield - he wrote some essays in that antholotgy that had a big impact. Aldo Leopold comes to mind.. these men must all be Israel. so much intelligence.
worthy of mention again is "mushroom" Alan Kapular (whose talk at "T20" i mentioned ealier) the seedsman who had (has?) peace seeds. he is a winner, a psychedlic genius as intelligent as Mckenna in his own way. Alan Kapular is one of THE most brilliant minds i've ever witnessed. these people are all israel, they have to be. they are too smart not to be.
the founder of a local seed company in these parts is Forrest shomer, who i also see at just about every music event i go to featuring african and particularly zimbabwian music. . ALso, back when i was working in a natrual foods store in Sante fe i had the pleasure to meet the guy whose name i forget but who i know was involved in the start up of seeds of change along with kapular, who was farming down near where seeds of change has their farm... there are a lot of very brilliant people working in this realm of seeds in particular, Nabhan, Wheely, Jackson among them.
i am also interested and probably have given some support - certainly felt the urge to - the Rare Breeds Conservancy, which I learned about from David Cavagnaro when i dropped in to meet him at the Heritage Farm. He told me about teh herd of an ancient breed of cattle that they have at Heritage Farm and i think he told me about the Rare Breeds Conservancy.
For a few years I supported the AMerican CHestnut Foundation, and anyone who knows about the history of the AMerican CHestnut tree and cares about life would agree that they have been doing very worthy work. i am a huge fan of chestnuts as a crop, the advantages are so obvious. . it makes so much sense, plus they are so good to eat. if i have anything to do with it, chestnuts are going to become a MUCH more important food source in the future.
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i am ambivalent as to Prem Rawat's ideas about diet. He once was refering, as he often did, to the ludicrousness of how the hindus say dont eat beef, and the moslems dont eat pork and he said, "i dont think you should eat any of that stuff." Was he talking about meat in general or beef and pork in particular? Because he advised people who were receiving knowldge back in the day to be vegetarian, it would be easy to assume that he meant, "I dont think you should eat meat, period." But lately I am taking a more literal interpretation. No beef or pork, both for obvious reasons (pigs are from hell in my opinion, they are what people become after they graduate from being moslems.)
But i really like eating lamb, and i like chicken too, though i ONLY eat chickens that have had a life, lived outdoors, etc. and since i am a chip off the old block of a family that seems to have sheepherding tendencies, i tend to think that in spite of his apparent advocacy of vegitarianism, my father may actually be favorable toward eating lamb as long as the animal is treated tenderly.
a MAJOR influence on my thinking, back when i was at rainbow before the chapter that started with my meeting martin roth began, was the incredible One Straw Revolution, by Masanobu Fukuoka. I dreamt for several years of visitin, spending a season or a year, at his farm. I have no doubt that he is an important person, his ideas were an inspiration to many people. I remember a picture of him, Wes J. and Bill Mollison, three israelites, no doubt. fukuoka is some kind of zen master. like he and i might have known one another in another life. i resonated with his book in a very powerful way, one of the biggest influences.
really, when i think about it, Ohsawa, fukuoka and Eido roshi and zen Buddhism in general were three huge influences in the development of my ideas. the japan connection. it's interesting,l there ae a lot of pieces to the puzzle that leads me to the conclusion that i may have been the founder of the japanese empire: the influence of these three, the connection with the takashima family and mihushi (sp?) in particular, my first crush having been on a japanese girl, allison hirabayashi, my work at great eastern sun importing japanese food, the special conncetion with aveline kushi - i bet she would agree that the one little moment we shared together was very sacred... and just a general affinity for everything japanese.
it occurs to me to comment on the interesting coincidence that the person i am naming as probably the single greatest influence on my own personal ideology has fuk as the first syllable of his name... coincidence? how could it possibly be a coincidence,,, the odds are just too long that the guy with "isaacsword" as his domain would name masanobu fukuoka as the single person who has most influenced his ideas.
also, and this next comment is one of those chill stirring things, a potential GOOBer if i wasnt already up:
I have been in the food business, dealing directly with grocers for sixteen years in my own businesses, plus a few years prior working elsewhere. I have known a lot of people in the food business, both "natural" and conventional. There is one group, one outfit, based here in Seattle, called Town and Country Markets, long operated as a family business by a Japanese American family called Nakata, they have a very successful chain of about seven grocery stores that are in many ways the best, and certainly in my experience the nakatas are the very best people in grocery retailing to do business with (Trader joe's is awesome to do business with too).
The Nakatas have an interesting story. They lived and had a grocery on Bainbridge Island across the sound from seattle before the war. At the time, Bainbridge was a farming community, truck farming, and back then truck farmers were japanese. so the nakatas were interred during the war in the camps, but they had anglo friends who kept their business alive during this time. I met the patriarch, who died a few years ago, and he was just a fantastic man. I really think the nakatas are a special family, very good folks. very worthy of this praise from a customer who always waw them as the highest integrity people in the business in seattle hands down. my experience with japanese people has always been good.
one of the stars of a group of boys who i think may have been a cluster of israelites that included sean jones brian miller and george birchfield, who was sandy's oncologist, was marty ishida, who stood out as an excetionally bright boy during the high school years. Brian will be an interesting study once things fall into place. a good friend and supporter all these years... he has been retired for several years from a very successful career as a chiropractor. it was brian who took the picture of me that's on this site.
i mean, look at ichiro suzuki, the seattle mariners baseball player. tiny little guy. no steroids there. just pure grace, pure skill, pure focus. like a teletubbie samurai. the japanese have something, they are strong in a gentle way, like its really a nation of very subtle people.
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6 am... this is a real "GOOBer" (GOOB=get out of bed) ... I metioned something about Stephen Golovnin the other day, while i was speaking in my bathtub or somewhere, that he can build a marimba with any number of notes in an octave. More than anyone i have ever known, Stephen ha this sort of musical genius, he's into the mathematics of music. It's an extreme form of genius really. Stephen understands the inner workings of sound itself, not in terms so much as the mechanism of perception, but the stuff of sound, what is it, how does it work. Stephen is actually the person who gave me the clue that digitized music is somehow inferior. i had noticed that i never listen to CDs over and over like i once did with LPs and cssette tapes. (fortunately Rauven's copy of Bruce Cockburn's live album that I listened to constanly for a few months was on cassette).
these comment about stephen remind me of the book goedell escher bach, which is a book that you could say is about psychedlic thought. its like about how complex ideas are formed, i dont know if that's a good decription, but it delves into the mathematics of music and art. stephen is the sort of mind that can wrap itself around this kind of thing.
Stephen sort of lives in a world of sounds, how they are created, how they interact with one another, etc. Genius. Israel. borderline deity... Lion King?
By the way, the first song I ever found myself istening to over and over and over was three dog night's Out in the Country. This was in the mid 70s. I can still hear the words to the song. I wanna hear those three guys sing that one for me... it's kind of like a theme song for me, like my whole life was sort of harmonizing itself with the idea of that song.
Besides this song, Elton John and NY, the person whose music I've listened to most intensely is Pter Gabriel. I really got into his albums So, Us, and the untitled one that came before that had BIKO on it, incredibe song, by the way. BIKO himself must be israel, of course he is. I sw he film i think denzel Washington (Israel) played Biko. i really liked pretty much every album produced by Daniel Lanois - the only U2 album i ever listened to a lot was Jshua Tree, robbir robertson's album a few years back that had some of the songs from powwow highway (awesome film) not to mention his own music, P. Gabriel's So, I mentioned Lanois early on as someone who i felt ure was israel. too much talent in creating ublime experience.
also, van morrison was big for while, sean J. who turned e on to NY also exposed me to van. "listen to the lion" is on my top ten major leading list of songs. that whole album is excellent, into the mystic is another good one.. but listen to the lion was one that i would listen to on full blast ver and over. i love it. so much passion in that song. besides neil probably the one song after out in the country that i would really dive deepest into was listen to the lion.. "and - I - WILL -SEARCH -MY - SOUL... I will seach my very soul... for the lion inside..." Yeah!!!
i never delved deep into dylan at all, but i found blood on the tracks to be a powerful album that is on my top ten list of non-neil albums. every song is excellent. shelter from the storm. man what a powerful song. i have a few dylan favorites, but mostly in terms of listening, it's blood on the tracks.
there's one song , dont know the name but it's the one about the girl with "the egyptian ring that sparkles before she speaks" that really turns me on... reminds me of babysnowleopard... is it actually about our Holy Mother, was she the inspiration?
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the matter that Dean Bertolami spoke about that palmo passed on to me that so impressed me so much was a description of a bell-curve of the distribution of goodness and evilness in human beings. he told the class that he knew that among this class there would be a certain % of good, not so good, corrupt, and that there would be just one "paragon." basically i wrote to say, "i know who the paragon in your class is" now tell me he wouldnt be impressed...
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i heard about a world music festival called festival in the desert that happened in timbukta, mali. jack mitzenmacher, who i really thought was an usually enlightened jewish boy, huge dylan and world music fan told me about it. it looked like it didnt happen this year, but a world music festival under the stars in the sahara sounded like heaven to me.... womad in the desert. sublime!
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lying with the tletubie goddess and just feeling her is like the ultimate experience, i just feel love taking over my whole being. i experienced this more with some women than with others, and i want to mention debra rhine and joanie natale, probably moreso the latter, as two other teletubbies whom i have loved. i experienced really strong ecstatic feelings with joanie in particular. she resonates on a very good frequency. i'm sure neil will agree. i havent mentione debra, one of the only women i have lived with for a length of time. she has a very good heart. i've always loves debra, it was a sadnss for her (and other women i've been with) that i didnt marry her. marriage really jut wasnt what i was after in this life. joanie told me later that she wished i had stayed with her. i thought about her a lot for a long time. we had something. i loved jane riskin too, way back in those days, but we both lived in the ashram and obeyed the rules.
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what the heck is sleep anyway... it just seems like being awake in a very unconscious state. it's like we just focus in our bodies. its like what people do because they can't let themselves feel their own bodies. as soon as i've rooted Satan out, i just dont see what need there would be for sleep. its like the activities of the temple replace sleep. i've said it before and i am saying it again... sleep is not something that immortals do, as far as i can understand. it's not really a thing to do, its just what people do to make up for the fact that they dont go into their bodies while awake.
merkle is a really devoted sleeper... he was usually lying there on his stomach well past 9 AM at shine when we were there together. he requires 10 hours. why? just because he's so shut down. but then he's up, fresh and ready for another fine dya of the being the top ten major leading global justice messiah. even when we tripped together the one time at the beach - he just couldnt shut up about the global justice work.
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i bet neil loves listen to the lion too. sean had a bootleg album of van, neil may remember this one too, only heard this song once called caledonia soul music that was on that bootleg album that really jumped out at me.
i lost interest in van later on, didnt get into his stuff after than album st. dominic's preview was the name. his later stuff seems more alcohol influenced. i dont know why i say that, but it didnt have the same passion as i hear in the early stuff, vedon fleece, st domicks, moondance.
i dont usually pay attntion to the names of music's producers - and really i havent been a collector of or listener to music since they digitized it. but it somehow came to my attention that i kept falling in love with alrbums produced by Daniel Lanois.. interestingly enough lanois is friends, apparantly, with my friend Celeste, and angelic woman who vibrates at a very fine frequency. she apparantly knows dave mathews as well, and also hangs out with Tovallah Ramer, the wife of Jon, who came as his proxy to the "community meeting" at my house in which the "community", the one Bill Aal mentioned was feeling threatened by what I was saying, came to argue that i should be committed to - locked up in - nurse rachet's hospital.
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