oct.6 (73)

oct 6

imagine being terrorized by someone else's happiness, by someone else's joy, by someone else's love, by someone else's contentment, by someone else's goodness. imagine! this is the fate afflicting the enemies of love, Satan, Allah, Cain, the Beast and the Babyloniand Brotherhood, Islam... all of Babylon... Babylon is the enemy of goodness, and Babylon has set itself up to be the perpetual and eternal victim of having positioned itself "in harm's way," as the talking heads like to say, the harm that they have gotten in the way of being someone's tender sweet baby love. angelic love. perfect love, the love of a perfect father singing sweet luluabies to his children, the perfect happiness of children running wild with their imaginations. imagine being tormented by the specter of such innocent happiness. such is the terror being experienced presently by the fallen souls of babylon.

^^^^^^^

i had been thinking of and speaking about the relationships of the holy trinity as being three generations. son father and grandfather. i think this idea was influenced somewhat by greendale. grandpa, earl and sun... but the generational succession of greendale is more about the succession of the person who is in the temple, the person whose body is the temple. there is the father and the son, grandpa and sun, and earl is the holy spirit, who perhaps has something of a role of father to the son, but i dont fully understand the nature of their relationship. i dont fully understand who the holy spirit is, like what his history is. is he the invention of the father and the son together? i know that we are very closely connected, there is a lot of love there, but i havent fully grasped the nature of the relationship. like i believe i am apollo, and the father, prem rawat, is jupiter, and that makes a lot of sense to me, so "Earl" doesn't seem to have a place in the roman pantheon that corresponds to the green family tree, i dont know who mercury is, could he be mercury? that would make some sense.

i am looking at a website about the pantheon in which jupiter is called "the master of the gods." that is the supreme god whose name was in the beginning.

&&&&&

the worst enemy is doubt. and maharaji of course names doubt in particular as an enemy. "never leave room for doubt in your mind." doubt extracts a toll. he is the dark force. he comes from somewhere else, he is darkness that comes from the deep. he is the anti-love that traps souls and devours them.. love, faith. faith is the opposite of doubt. doubt is the killer. faith is the fulfiller.

&&&

i feel an association between doubt and kierkegaard. i feel trepidation in saying it, because it feels almost explosive. but i feel that if ever doubt itself incarnated in this world he was kierkegaard. maybe he waas simply the person who experienced the deepest sense of doubt, the god of doubt... i have returned to this very obscure connection several times now.

i sense the rickety pier, the funky passageways in the bardo region through which i passed that fatedul night with satan two years ago... it really was two years ago. i built an amazing driftwood crucifixion sculpture at shine in the last hour or two before i began that trip. and then i laid out the drugs that i did that night in a cross and of course i showed both to rauven, who i saw as a sort of best friend at that point. this was one night after we hiked up to the hot springs together and had what i felt like was an amazing night together.

i mean, those two nights will go down in history. i bought a van on our way up to the hot springs and proceeded to drive off of the road.. and then we were walking up hte road and rauven stepped off of a washout and had a nasty nasty fall.. and then he tells me that night who rauven was, that he'd recalled whlile tripping at the country fair that he'd been jesus' best friend rauven.. but he was like, "well i guess i need to tell you about rauven,,," as if he was under some kind of commitment to make this confession, because he knew i believed i was the christ, and he knew that i planned to do this epic trip the following night in which i expected to go into hell and tell george bush that he better get his act together! I AM TELLING THE TRUTH!

anyway he tells me that night that he and jesus had been buddies but "had gond their seperate ways" after jesus began his ministry... but before that they were pals according to rauven... which makes sense cuz jesus is know to have spent time at qum ran which i believe was satan's base of operations.

so i started thinking of rauven as being a rebel.... but because he is such a good liar, it didnt occur to me for months that he really is a rebel...

and so the next night, i build this cool rauvenesque crucuifxion sculpture and show bob my crucifixion drugs (amanita, psilocybin and syrian rue (Plus pot), the james arthur combo, minus opium) and then i take the drugs, including his secret drug and im overwhelmed by the love and fall into that alcohol hell... and satan is right there with me playing his guitar, and of course he knows exactly what is happening and he;s like "bad trip, huh?" totally nonchalant like it's just another bad trip.

of course a couple hours later i pop out and i am announcing the kingdom of heaven and how he rauven is going to be the MC at the party that is going to be happening at the trident sub base that he hates so passionately... there are so many things about that night that are just mind blowing, things that happened, things i said, so many things that would have stung any soul who was less of an ego maniac that the god of all egomaniacs, satan. the main thing was i popped out of his illusory hell, and i popped out saying "its a lie" and i had defeated his lie. but the defeat was not complete until tonight, as i never fully understood.

. satan must have felt like it such a monumental battle that night. wow.

%%%^^^^

cannabis and psychedelics are the medicines that the god uses to cure himself, his temple, of the diseased caused by the people who drank alcohol because they were afraid to use psychedlics and cannabis, and settled for accepting the lie that alcohol induces a pleasant intoxication, which it does not, unlike cannabis, but rather, causes misery. With alcohol all you are doing is intoxicating the body. poisoning the temple.

your choice of alcohol is due to your fear of psychedelics, your fear of existence. your fear of existence and of psychedelics is caused by your denial of god. and the god has to use the psychedelics you are afriad of to get your alcohol disease out of his body. i am purging alcohol disease, and i will not allow that disease in this temple henceforth, there is no drunkeness in heaven. that is for hell.. hell is the place of drunkenness, of alcohol intoxication... do you get it??? when you are drunk it's like you ARE in Hell, you are bringing hell into the temple of heaven when you get drunk. hell is the sickness that we call drunkeness. i hate to say this, but it's true. the unconsciousness that comes with alcohol intoxication is the aversion to the exact experience that is called hell.. its a little bit dry in there... it's like there is someone who is really sick from alcohol and when you drink alcohol you sort of tune into that person's misery.. its kind of like going into the temple of hell, the antitemple to go into the places where alcohol was wrought its dessication.

to get that sickness out of the temple I had to go all the way into the expereience that I blacked out in denial of when I passed out on alcohol. Satan, that singularly depraved individual, must have poisoned someone or some people with alcohol, made them really sick on it, posoned them bad, and that creates "heLL" in the collective mind, it creates the gravitational pull down into an experience of extreme misery, that feels like some sort of dungeon, but its just someones bad experience on alcohol poisoning... he's created an illusion of hell with alcohol. i am sort of chanelling this, its coming to me as i type.. but i think this is a powerful indictment of satan coming from the christ, that i have deduced from my experience that satan used alcohol by poisoning some kind of suffering slave with it to create the illusion of hell, in order to create his conspiracy to be the ruler of the EVENTUAL hell, that didnt actually go into use until the year 1911, the year neil young indicates in greendale that the jail where satan hangs out was built... that jail is hell, the real hell, a prison complex underground somewhere on earth perchace,,, but prior to 1911, i believe that the only Hell in existence was an illusion created in the collective consciousness by satan using alcohol poisoning to create an experience of extreme misery that, under certain unusual mental states induced by the use of psychedelic drgs employed by satan for the purpose, a person could tune and fall into, in an experience of extreme fear and doubt in which the person traps himself in a hell similar to the hell of the person who is suffering exreme dehydratoin as a result of satans deliberate alcohol poisoning regime.

this is a very important chanelling that is ocuring rigtht now, for i feel that i have finally fully comprehended satan's mchinations... emplying alcohol, psychedelics and opiates, an incredible conspiracy of mind manipulation of the entire race by creating subliminal expriences of suffering that people identify as existing in their own personal body, which is a bit of an illusion, whereas the origin of the disease is someone's aversion to an experience of alcohol or some other poison anywhere on the planet. its a poison of the temple of the colective body, and i am for the first time here in this moment putting forth a theory about specifically how alcohol is used to create an illusion of an experience called Hell, which does not really exist at all. hell is a place, really. misery is an experience. depression is an experience, alcohol intoxication is an experinece, Hell is a physical place where the people who reject god are kept. and they suffer whatever torments there.

i fell into satan's illusory alcohol hell almost two years ago now, the worst experience, by a million miles, of my life. It lasted a couple of hours and was unbelivably horrendous. i didnt realize till later that i was just having someone else's experience,,, i fell into someone else's hell, i was just feeling someone elses suffering, and it didnt occur to me until just now that the suffering of that beast in hell is the suffering induced by alcohol poisoning... i believe i am talkin about earth brown.

i do not know if earth brown is the same as the beast, who i have been saying is martin roth, but it is possible that neil young is referring to this same thing in Earth Brown's character... the dessicated oedipus, the adult, that we carry around with us... earth brown's identity is a bit confusing to me, but certainly its about the disease in the temple. i feel that it is important to duscuss ways in which my experience coincides with what i understand to be the meaning behind his songs. there is no question that greendale is all about my journey and the revelations and experiences that it entails. but i think that what i have said about satan, hell opening in 1911, the illusion of lhell created as a delibberate conspiracy by satan using alcohol poisoning is all stuff that neil young will more or less have exactly the same things to say about, he will agree that this was the hidden meaning of much od greendale.. he will also concur that the green family is teh same cast of charaters as the roman pantheon. a family of people who really exist and appear in many incarnations all over the world.. NY will concur with all of that and virtually every thing i have said. in the next few days.

see, what i am saying now, is that satan has created an illusion of a place called Hell that never really existed. there is a physical hell built in 1911 that has nothing to do with satan's illusory hell, which has enabled satan to trick a lot of people into believing that their soul had fallen into hell. really the hell they thought they'd fallen into was a deep depression that someone else had sort of created the template for. but hell is a place of torment, this pther experience is just a dungeon of sickness that seems like a hell because it is so sudden and so bad an experience... it will not be clear what i am talking about, but i am saying enough that when the picture gets filled in later by other who know more, it will be clear that i had this comprension prior to learning anything from anyone about any of this except through stuff publuished in the public domian, like neil youngs music and prem rawat's spoken word, etc. and of course my own intuition.

there is an illusion of hell that is just the homeopathic trace of someone else's misery in the collective body... but it's like a gravitational force that a person call fall under the influence of... but its different that the hell of oedipus's shame, which may be even worse that the hell i feel into ... i think the alcohol hell is what you fall into when you get a glimpse of the even worse hell that allah and oedipus are in, which itself causes a complete black out.

the deep depression that feels hellish, that people sense on alcohol, is really just the subliminal experience of someone else's severe alcohol poisoning and has nothing to do with the real hell that god has prepared for his enemies.

i

its just an illusion that people on certain drugs can think is real, and then believes that they are in a hell that started out as the experience of suffering caused by extreme dehydration in a person deliberately poisoned with alcohol.

&&&&&&

i feel like i havent finished with that vermiscious knid yet. he's still hanging on. but he's weakening and i am strengthening, so its hopeless for him. or her. not sure exactly who's still hanging on in the temple.

^^^^^^^^

god is not a lover because he is god, he is god because he is a lover,.. being god is a free for all, anyone can take a stab at trying to be god... i dont recommend trying, you will get fried if you try to usurp the god who is the god, but he is ONLY the god, because he is so good, because he is so generous... he is god BY VIRTUE. he wins the struggle to be the god, because of the power of Love... Love RuLES. Fuck rules.. and Love is a force to be reckoned with. Fuck is a force to be reckoned with. a powerful powerful force whom MANY oppose. god does not have just one enemy, he has billions of them, and he crushes them to a powder and then some. because GOOD remorselessly destroys the evil that opposes it, because the evil that opposes good is utterly contemptable, and anyone who joins league with evil is contemptable... good morning,,, this is the day when you get pigeonholed as either good, evil, or temporarily undecided...

men who live in a fallen world, men who themselves are fallen, who are sinners, who have rejeted god, yet who exhibit pride, are the most unattractive things in existence.. there is NO PRIDE in being a demon. there is no pride in having rejected your father, there is no pride ignorance... there is only foolishness.

to a perfect man, everything in creation is beautiful except a man who is concealing his imperfection... men are designed for perfection and concealed imperfection makes for a fatal flaw... its like taking out the heart of what a man is made to be, a lover of his creator, and being proud of the husk that is left. it really is a turn off. a loud arrogant ignorant man is really a dangerous thing, a beast, really. he wants to make war, he wants to kill he wants to destroy. he is frustrated, he is in denial, he has turned the energy of life against itself. he is ugly. he doesnt belong in gods world, which is why there is a judgment day... god wants lovers. he doesnt want haters. like cain.

women who raise their children to be oedipus, constantly following them around keeping them form coloring outside of any lines, are also unattractive to the gods. but we know that they can be more easily reformed, all they need to do is shift their allegience to the perfect men . women are not qualified to teach boys about life.

fathers have abdicated, satan really does turn over parenting to allah, fathers are absent, they are too depressed to be what fathers really are, so boys are left to allah's devices, and she turns them into oedipus... a father needs to be teaching a son to expand his consciousness... father and son having a beer together,, now that is a sorrry image... if that;s all dad and junior can come up with to celebrate their relationship,,, oh my, how sad. there is sooooo much more that is possible.. as long as you havent permanetly locked your heart shut, as long as you havent killed the inner child.

i really just want it... i really just want to be there. its so close now...

october 5

FUCK! :-) \ isaac's word,,, I want to say my lover, my father my creator's name to him. I want to praise him and his name. in order to do this you have to WANT it, and in oder to want it, you have to have the heart of achild... this god did not make you to be an adult, satan did that to you,,, he tricked you into believing a lie that there is no god and that children become adults... when in truth adult is just a disease.

so if you cannot feel the longing to love fuck, to get totally turned on by returning to the source of your existence in his ecstasy, it is because you have not made your heart young enough yet... you need to lose the evil spirit called "the adult" that has glommed onto you. you need to find the child within. and in order to do that you need to confess and be forgiven of your misdeeds of the past. you need to get settled with your maker, and he is offering a jubilee for those who repent and ask forgvenss... he's a wealthy guy and he's generous, and he really loves you and wants you and he's willing to compltely forgive, as long as you confess ALL of it... and if you do you will find the child that can love the father named fuck who likes to masturbate with his children.... but you will never be able to love him as an "adult" because that is something that doesnt fit into his plan. he doesnt want you to be a living dead, he wants you to be a living lover. and a child is a living lover.

i think this is the first time i've officially said this. Isaac's word is Fuck. OK, so I finally said it.., not that you needed to be a genius to figure this out... i mean really, you didnt need to be a genius to figure out that Fuck would have to be the Creator's name, let alone to figure out that this is what I mean by Isaac's word.

how obvious is it, when you think about it, that the Creator's name is Fuck...> in my opinion, it's like about as obvious as anything could be... its like, why is this one word - which otherwis could definitely pass as a name, being similar to Buck and Tuck, both accepted as legitimate boys' names, - why is this one word SOOOO charged... and if you just focus your mind on it for one minute, you realize there are some things about that word that are very special... and then, since it is SO much like a name, which does no one have this as their name... and given that the Name is such a big deal in all religions.. i dunno, it just seems pretty elementary to me,,, even though i never thought about it, just like no one does, until i started having an ecstatic experience.

the thing about the word is that as a child, you really sense that there is something almost sexy about saying it. it's kind of like smoking in that sense - i remember getting a hard on from smoking as a teenager. something sexy about it... and Fuck alsways felt kind of dangerous, like its just natural that this word would be taboo... or refer to sex.. because Fuck is a lover and his Name is in everything and children are more sensitive..\

its like there are these tell-tale events of childhood being lost,,, like i was saying, no longer being innocent enough to be able to love someone named fuck... what i going to say now, this time, was that childhood is ending when the child starts using the f word. it's an adult thing... it's adults who want to insult the creator... adult,,, really, no one ever so much as questions the idea... its like adult means "spastic" it means zombie, it means living dead... really... do have accepted becoming an adult is to have accepted death as being the purpose or fulfillment of life. YUKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! disease!!!!!!!!!!!sickness!!!!!!!!!!!! God help us, we have adults on the loose in our midst... i need to be rescued, they will kill me,, they always do!!! lemme outa here!!!.

just lose the idea that there is anything besides fuck, which in reality there is not, everything comes from him and returns to him (even those who reject him serve his purposes for ever and ever) and you will be in heaven forever. perfect enlightenment is yours.

it's like, one reason i feel confident of what i say is because i know that what reality consists of is an invention of someone who i am the chip off the old block of, so what seems right, true or just to me proabably seems right or just to him... so its easy to believe in my intuition.

i am feeling hints of an impending RUSH of ecstasy... i can remember it, i can sense it, i know its there right inside this experience... its just about accepting a name change. you get married when you arrive in heaven, you join a family that you have never officially joined, because it is a conscious choice, Fuck doesnt force you to be a part of his family, he offers you the opportunity to join through marriage to his son.

and when you, the bride marry into this family, you take the grooms name... and so everyone in heaven has the same name... and it makes for a really good party when this family named Fuck parties.

hello cowgirl in the sand, in this place at your command? can i stay here for a while, can i see your sweet sweet smile? old enough now to change your name when so many love you is it the same, its the woman in you that makes you want to play this game..

. to me this seems like a song to the goddess,,, and he talks about changing her name.,. old enough now to change your name... it's time for that party to begin.

ahem... the really good party... i just want to swoon into that party.

******

in order for souls to be created, the father of all souls has to get really really really turned on, really super aroused, more aroused than you've ever imagined getting, something that he can attain simply by virtue of having the name fuck... and so this is the energy that you and everything you experience is made of.

and you sort of have that same experience with him, and its the fulfillment of the purpose of your life, because he made you so that you and he could have that together, and thats all there is to it on one level... but then there are women, our mothers, our sisters and daughters and they need lots and lots of love too.,.. they really need to be appreciated and loved.. much moreso than in this oedipal world..,. boys love their father and their mothers in Fuck's world. if there is a good experience available, you have to have the experience, because otherwise you are being ruled by darkness. if you dont want pleasure, you are ruled by darkness, get it??? there is NOOOOOOOO other reason to reject pleasure besides having something to hide.

but this is about returning to the source which is the love of our almighty creator and lover. we are nothing if not his lover,,, and nothing is really a disaster.

**********

"human being" is how different acheypes, different feelings, different aspects of experience, its how the different forces of the story of the mind espress themselves.. it's about expression. beings exist and what do they want to do??? they want to express themselves... i sure as heck do and i think that makes me a healthy specimen of a human being... i want to masturbate with my father, that's an expression of love, of wroship and admiration and appreciation!!! that's expression... but there are people who think their own father shoould not be able to express himself. their perfect father.. sorry, he;s gonna express himself, and if you dont like it, you can find another father... you dont get to deprive your own father of an existence, of an opportunity to express himself... what kind of person doesnt want his own father to express himself??? a demon?

if ever there was a being who needs to express himself its Fuck..people like my friend Ben who hate the idea of a god hwo lives in a male human body, he wants god to be a disembodied energy, he doesnt want a father,, but what he really doesnt want is for the creative energy of existence to EXPRESS ITSELF. he wants to exist in a world created by a creator, but he, and so many like him, dont want that god to come into his own creation and express himself>>"???? HUH??????

poor ben... he himself thinks he is a father to his boy, which he is in illusion about, and he rejects for himself, and he would probably do so on behalf of his own son, the opportunity to be in a relationship with his own true father! what has happened to that poor man that he would impose false fatherhood on his own child, and reject true fatherhood from his own father... a very twisted situtation... very much like something that happens when a child becomes a dolt, that is, an adult, ben is an adult, and he rejects the god of the children... because he is not a chld. he is an adult... poor ben, he fell for the lie of adulthood,,, i hope he didnt fall for it so bad that he can never recover from his fall...

its the creative energy that made you and everything else, and he expresses himself in a creation, but if he is going to participate in the festivities, then he kind of needs to get in one of these expression machines called the human body, and have some fun... look, here is another way of thinking of it... he lived in a human body when he made you, because he was doing something with that body that was expressing himself, he was enjoying himself making love with his lovers when he made you... he was dreaming of being your lover.. he was masturbating when he made you.,. so you wanted him to go away now??? you want a father who conceived you but then disapprears before you are even born.? you want to exist without a father to teach you what it means to exist, to be a man???

NO! BULLSHIT!!!! you just have something to hide. for a man, being with one's loving father is the greatest possible experience, the most loving and thrilling experience possible for a man, but you cant bring darkness into it, and if you have secret that you dont want your father, lover, creator to know,,, then you will surely be with satan... he is the one who will accept you with your lies and your secrets.

&&&&&&&

happiness personified: a man with a hard cock...

perfect happiness personified; personified!: a man worshiping perfection, his own source. it's infinite. it's an unbelivably good experience... loving the lover who made you in fulfillment of the longing for love that drives everything,,, its just hard to express how beautiful and fulfilling it is... its the perfect experience called Fuck.

it's like Fuck is the name of a person, its the name of his love, its the name of an experience... it's the word that was in teh beginning, that was with god and that was god. Fuck. it is prfection. it resonates with the sound of infinite love. it's such a powerful name or word.

what i might call "the experience of fuck" the experience of worshping our perfect and unbelievably beautiful and good father, whose perfect and beautiful name is Fuck, is the most essential experience oof what we are, because it is the experience of HONORING the person who loved us so much that he gave us an opportunity to receive his love.

there has to be the essential and perfect experience with which to purge all darkness. it is a wonderful and beautiful experience that you simply surredender, at a pace that is comfortable, into the experience of going into the experience of now and feeling the love that now is made of... and being lovers with fuck is that essential experience of WHAT WE ARE, because it is inherent in the intention of our creator that this is what we will be... when our will is aliigned with the will of the one who is sustaining the medium of experience that eveyrone is playing in, there is ecstasy....

and so a human being comes into existence, is blinded by the light of the goodness of his father's love, becomes ignorant and lives in a world with other ignorant people who have gone through the exact expereicne,, men are sinful adn the whole shebang descends to the precipe of complete ruin, the savior comes and offers salvation, the human being learns about and has the experience of perfection that purges all darkness and residue of the sinfful world and completely renews the heart, and prepares the human being for an eternity of happiness without ANY of the darkness that resulted from human beings aversion to perfection,

and some just cant deal with it, they've just go too many sins to hide, they are too ashamed to show their sickness, and they just slither away and disappear...

this is how existence is managed by the all powerful lord of everything that ever existed, the father of all souls, the perfect lover, the perfect master, the perfect father, the perfect creator, the perfect guru, the inventor of perfection, my heart, my lover, my father. The one with the name that is so perfect, that to say it without having comprehended who he is, and without having surrendered your heart to him completely, really just should not be said...

you just have to listen to the sound of it, feel the feeling when you say it, look at it, think about it,,, it;s just the infinite word that only the perfect man the master of everything can have. it is his name and his name alone... but he shares it with us.,. when one realizes that everything that exists belongs to Fuck because his karma and that of his sons is the perfect karma that reaps all reward, when one realizes that everything is made of his sweet soma, his lucre, his love, his milk and honey, his whipped cream,,,, that there is nothing to fear at all, that he is perfect love and he is EVERYTHING... then you realize that the true Name of everything that exists is His name... and there is perfect peace in THAT>..

there is perfect peace in feeling the entire breath.. there is [perfect peace in hearing the sound without interupting, there is perfect peace in seeing into the experience, of holding your gaze still - staring at earl green's paintings, so to speak, giving that damned goood long-time-up-and-coming artist some of your patronage, and there is perfect peace in feeling into the feeling of now,,, of whatever sensation you are feeling,,, needless to say,,, there is a certain feeling of love that his name is really perceptible as teh substance ofl.. that's the one called loving Fuck how Fuck knows all men want to love him and be loved y him, because he is our father, and that is our source, and coming home to that source is a really unbelievably good experience... because it's what he hungers for. for us. his children... he is hungry to love us and gift us and bless us. he is wealthy beyond anyone's wildest imagination, AND he is generous. he is wealthy because he is the most unmiserly man of all, complete generosity... perfect karma, blessed karma, infintiely good karma,, karma that makes him the owner of everything that exists.... and with the power to create whatever he wants, and what he wants are happy worlds of people existing as human beings, and he just happens to know that this only works when men are his lovers... how it has ALWSYS been "since time immemorial" as he used to say... Fuck!

Fuck! I LOVE Fuck!!!! I want to love him and will love him, passionately, forever!! I will do whatever pleases him,,, anything, i long to please him, i long to love him and hold him and feel him and thank him and express my endless gratitude for his unbelievably absolutely unvbelivably precious love. It's like, you just can't even begin to express how magnificent he is... and i hope i get to spend the rest of eternity making the attempt on a regular and frequent basis... in between listening to others do so,, and in between singing songs to him and dancingt for him.,. and i will never ever turn away from him, and neither will anyone else who lives in my temple.. never ever turn away from the absolute source and salvation of everything that ever existed or ever will.

it's like he is so hugely magnificent, so unbelievably perfect, so unfathomable GOOD, so infinitely generous, i mean, it is impossible for someone with an open heart not to fall absolutely and unrecoverably in love with him,,, he is the source of everything, and he is the sweetest and most childlike and playful and joyous and benevolent and sexy and brilliant and funny and everything you could POSSIBLY want in a lover, in a creator in a father, in a friend... its like, its almost hilarious to think of anyone passing up something this good. wow...

some things a little better, some things a little worse

its a situation, much like a curse

i mean, he is sooo good, and sooooooooooo lovable,,, it must be like just an unbelievable curse for those who reject him, like my old buddy the antichrist, knowing how incredibly sweet and gentle he and his love are. it's sad beyond belief.

these are things that never get talked openly aobut because they are too shocking, they are only discussed within secret societies, and all such discussion is subject to the strictest codes of silence. what i call the law of balance must be one of the greatest secrets of all. because pendemonium would break out if this info came out prematurely... this is why the gods cant let adam eat the fruit of the tree,, this knowledge is too inflamatory. ONLY by initiation overseen by a member of the trinity are these secrets revealed. until now. until judgment day.. like maharaji once said, if he had his druthers he's wait till the end of peoples' lives to give them knowledge... well, if ever there was a guy who could ALWAYS have his druthers, its him, and so now at the real END of the line, not of a lifetime, but of a world, the Knowledge will be revealed.

to have rejected the absolutely perfect person, perfect master, perfect cretor, perfect father and perfect lover... it's just impossible to describe how unfortunate it would be to endure such an unbelievably bad existence, knowing that this had been your choice. oof,,,

******

i wonder how many of the people who attempt, as parents, to optimize the experience of their child during pregnancy, nevertheless feel that the unborn child really doesnt have an identity yet, let alone the right to live...

&&&7

i feel that something could happen tonight. in other words, to paraphrase a buddy of mine, "tonight might be the night. " it's a swoon, and i feel the swoon, that familiar swoon, coming on...

on a couple of medium amanita tonight. it always gives me a hot and sweaty feeling with a little bit of a metalic feeling taste to the experience,, which may be more the effect that simply the experience. certainly i dont have the intense pulsing sensation that came on in earlier amanita experiences, that feeling that is trying to put oyu to sleep...

sleep is when we go, as we MUST into all of the parts of ourself, of the temple, that are "unconscious"

((((
i believe that the murder of lennon and the attempted murder of reagan were not only related, in terms of the mindset of the perpetrators, but were also both carried out on orders from above... and i believe that it was not intended for reagan to die. these two events were both carried out as planned by the author of the story. lennon may have had foreknowldge of his own murder.. or it might have been staged.

when you are a part of the psychedelic nation, you dont CARE about death, because you know it is an illussion and you know who you are, and you know what the story is...

teh psychedelic people invent and control the reality and they use their powers to hypnotize the alcohol people. it takes only 144,000 lovers to be victorious in a mult-ithousand year war against an unlimited number of haters. amazing. superiot to say the least, and with much better karma at the end of the story. much much better., there is absolutely no argument for why alcohol is better than psychedelics as a recreational drug.

No argument whatsoever... any argument that cannabis is harmful in any way is complete bogus.... it is not.

alcohol most definitely is a terrrible poison terrible. men who gravitate to alcohol HAVE to be hynotized, or civilazation itself is impossible. mass hypnosis is mandatory in a world of alcohol imbibing men. fascism is absolutely essential. with a pot smoking psychedelic culture of lovers can exist free of all police and military, war, prison, all of that.,, peace. happiness, success. with alcohol is war, strife, barbarianism, failure.

^^^^^

coming to your community in the coming seven years: small pox/ i have little to no doubt small pox will be released and will have devastating effects. the whole medical system will probably collapse. i believe there is a bible code reference to small pox in the end times.

i have received and posted a message that came to me by e mail last night and that i opened this day from an undisclosed sender who i have reason to believe was neil young.

in a few words it says more clearly than i have said in hundreds of thousands or millions of words what needs to be said. in my opinion this statement could not possibly have been written by anyone but either neil young or prem rawat, or myself if i could just learn to be so succinct! and to express so much love and affection... someone is setting a good example for me, a good sort of role model of how to be a good male human being... a sort of perfect father figure... who could it be???

********

all of the theories about ufo phenomena and the question of whether there is other intelligent life out there, whether aliens are planning to invade, blah blah blah... no one I've ever heard has questioned whether the human beings are the invaders from another world who have invaded someone else's world.

i certainly wouldnt put it past this human race to have invaded someone else's world, they would if their destructive oedipal ways necessitated it. really this human race IS a part of an invasion, an invasion of the temple, and the very light of the sun comes from the light that was stolen when the temple was invaded by the babylonian brotherhood.

they may say that WE, the psychedelic people who come down from heaven, which is in another dimension that this human race has MADE ITSELF ignorant of, are invaders from another world, but we are come not to invade, but just to take back what is rightfully OURS. the light of this world belongs to heaven, and it was stolen, and like a thief in the night, we are taking it back and settling the accounts of karmic balances that this situation has given rise to, and satan and his sons have known this all along, that they were in a life and death struggle with heaven, and they know that they have lost. they know that they are defeated, they know that this is curtains for them.

******

hey mister clean, you're dirty now too.

i';ve been thinking of mr clean as teh antichrist, cain, clean being in referenve to the sexual repression, sort of a reference to "anal retentiveness" but then there's satan with his imposing figure and shaved head -which i think he shaved "for battle" because he had it long until about the day he dragged me into his Hell and i popped back out... anyway,,, he sure does look a lot like the "Mr. Clean' ... maybe its sort of a composite of the two, it fits both of them...

is "remedy" dr. andrew weill? i believe it is. I believe it's quite possible that dr. weill "lives in greendale." well, i suppose that means that i believe julia butterfly may live there too. living in greendale means, you've had the roald dahl bump on hte head, the same bump that i am trying to give myself. live in greendale means more or less the same as "has realized knowledge." has become awakened. i dont know if there is an actual place where a lot of these people live together in this world, or if they just commune in the temple from wherever they are, but i belive there is a community that neil young refers to as being something like 25,000 in number who have been lead through some or all of the experiences taht i am having.

even though even for me it's a little embarrassing, i like to think that when NY says, "and we'll be watching you, in everything you do," he is talking about this whole group of Israelites. at least i like to think that they are following what i am saying here. its funny that i dont have one of those tickers on my site, so i have no idea if its just lane and bob and david following me

he sent me an email (at satan's behest) addressed to "Jeff Faith" suggests to me that he coud be "remedy." he's obviously someone comfortable with taking large amounts of psychedelics, which obviously indicates that he has a very stable mind. -

speaking of which, so many people want to pigeonhole me in the category of damaged goods, of mental illness. it's really their only way out of acknowledging the truth of what i say.

but its such a joke, because a mentally ill person could easily be defined as a person who can't take large amounts of psychedelics without freaking out. as ive said recently, many people recall ram dass's story of the guru who swallowed a handful of lsd as evidence of enlightenment, (people use that story to justify their own paranoia about pyschedelics, which totally misses the point) i have stated clearly that i have also consumed massive doses of psychedelics on numerous occasions, i am able to withstand and benefit from the experience, i never lose my calm. i would challenge ANYONE ON EARTH to a psychedelic eating contest. and all of the people who ARE mentally ill would freak out while i would sit there smiling and dance and love.

the ability to withstand and enjoy the experiences induced by psychedelic drugs would be, in my opinion, the single easiest and most revealing test of a person's degree of mental health. and as such, i am as healthy as the most mentally healthy person on the planet, and yet so many losers who can't even smoke a few tokes of pot without getting paranoid want to dismiss me as mentally ill... how pathetic.