open your heart completely (77)

october 8

open your heart completely to god, and all your disease just falls away... there really isnt much more to it,...love, trust, faith in the perfect father who is the master of everything, just letting go into the love that everything is made of... its a letting go, a relaxation from an overactive doubting mind, into peace. that's all. simple. nice. wonderful, sublime... just a matter of tuning in to the subtlty that gets lost in the crassness of an alcohol-oriented culture.

****

success in life does not come from going out and getting what you can, it comes from giving and waiting faithfully to receive that which your giving has entitled you to. The master of the universe is the most generous and least selfish man, and the wealthiest. As it should be. He trusts in justice, and is rewarded. Those who, like the major top ten leading global justice messiah, think that even justice is something to grasp after lose... You succeed by doing good and allowing justice to be done. if you dont trust in goodness, your not going to be good. in order to be good, you have to trust goodness. and goodness comes through every single time, in its own time, but there is ALWAYS justice and always a reward for goodness. because there is always someone paying a penalty for their badness, and so payment flows to the good in the form of soma.

i never thought about justice, about a reward for goodness coming later, i just wanted to make this world a place where i might enjoy living... i mean, as far as i knew, this is what i had to work with... but there is always faith in goodness underlying all action. i think of my father as being someone as really enjoying a good quality of life, that his success is related to his appreciation of the quality of the experience he is having.

one thing that the good get to discover for themselves is that good people are happy people who inevitably enjoy a good quality of life because they attract others who are good and pleasant to be with into their circle. being good really gives a person the reward that people who are bad are trying to take from them, but who lose and provide the eventual award that the good receive.. goodness doesnt get rewarded by a vacuum, it gets rewarded by the penalties paid by the evil. are people masochists that they don't act upon the obvious liklihood that being good will be the better way to go>> and have we not been asking ourselves this question for a long time??

lies and the darkness that they create inthe body makes people so weak... so weak, because people are holding back from their own strength because they've fallen for a pack of lies, and what feels like pain is just resistance to the true power within them, the power of the creator's love, which is everything.

****

what destroys all lies all ignorance, all sickness (besides water)?? as you progress on the path of perfect faith that allows the perfect samadhi, as you still the mind and silence the doubt, the shell of mortality begins to break apart and fall away from you. its just a big complex mass of lies. and if you can silence the liars who have you believing their sinister lies, you become cured of the diseases caused by those lies. that's all there is to healing. kind of like mary baker eddy said (though i dont know if i am treading on any delicate toes with a comment like that), disease, mortality and all suffering are symptoms of a belief in lies.

what is the karma of a man who fights against the very source of existence and goodness itself?

not too good. infinitely bad, as a matter of fact.

*********

is this a riddle, a koan, or what?

What does a man think when he hears this: thought is intended to be a two-way conversation with one's perfect master, not a monologue?

What do you think when you hear this question asked?

how about this one:

What does a man think when he hears this: Masturbation is intended to be a two-way expression of love with one's perfect master, not a monowank?.. or a god-denying frustration fest...

*******

does everyone get it yet??? a "god" is just a guy who really wants to be what a father is intended to be. he really wants to love, he really cares, he really wants to engage, he wants to know his son, he wants to inspire his son to perfection, he wants to share an experience of happiness, of overwhleming joy with his son... that's all. he "gets" to be the god, because hes got the right idea about what a father is, and satan and those who think they've got a better idea end up fighting and losing wars against such a true father. and they end up paying interest on long term obligations that never expire.

men who love one another have a good experience of life, as do their women and children, and their world is lush and prosperous.

men who do not love one another have an bad experience of life, as do their women and children, and their world turns into a vast barren desert.

Need anything further be said regarding the nature and purpose of heaven and hell?

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i confess to enjoy reading what i write, but i sincerely hope that i am not the only one...

my master does not require me to make blind leaps of faith into the vast oceans of darkness and doubt created by his enemies... no, he provides a nice safe simple easy path to truth and light, to perfection, step by step, breath by breath... no leaps required, always there beside you, ready to hold you steady on the path. "Leap of faith" is not something that is required in order to know and love one's father. no, only the sincere desire to do so, which apparantly must have been deficient in the guy who invented the leap of faith.

the possibility of doubt is always there... ol' man Kierkegaard is always calling out to you from his dungeon of doubt, his dungeon of doubt, with it;s sign that says "your leap of faith ends here" but you get to a point where you kind of know his tricks and you don't give him any space, to paraphrase my father... no you just defy him with your love and your peace and your security and your blessing and your attachment, your permanent attachment to the safety of your father's loving presence in the temple... once you are in the temple of love, the temple of doubt can no longer keep you. and you are finally free of the unbelievable darkness of doubt. your lord, your master, the one upon whom you depend, by definition, as a human being, has delivered you from doubt, the enemy of existence. No human being ever existed, you did not have a master, and if you want your existence to be a success, you need to find the humility and sincerity that are required in order to accomplish your goal.

what if, in order for a world with people in it to even exist, the perfectly good man who invented that world so that he could live in it with others in a paradise of delight, had to fight nearly interminable wars against people who come to live in that world and then try to rise up over him, and overthrow him as the owner of that world? i am talking about defying a creator who lives in the world wherein the defying is taking place... This is exactly the curcumstance of this world. and ungrateful people everywhere wish to deny that there even could be such a thing as someone creating a world. would they attack and destroy their creator, who was so willing to give them a perfect existence, if they could? Yes, I am afriad to say, many would.

if there's one simple thing you could say that anyone can understand and succinctly articulates what the christ embodies, its simply this: he has a positive attitude.

the christ, charlie, has a positive attitude. he is always looking for the good. always looking at how he can make things better. Always looking at how he can contribute. Yes is a powerful spritual warrior, yes is an amazing shaman, but its the positive attitude that gives him those powers... the simple but resolute tendency toward goodness is the source of all of his and his father's power.

the person who offers you absolute perfection, and whose favor is the only thing available to you as an existence other than eternal angiush... you really need to be in a mood to lay in front of this person for as long as it takes to feel the sincerity to beg him with all of your might that he will make you worthy of him. just wrap your mind around the idea of existing forever without the single thing required in order to have any semblence of peace or happiness. and to have voluntarily chosen this fate... it's just hard to comprehend.

*******

rereading this post, deep deep deep in samadhi, and some rustling and an aha! aha! yes, that is knowledge... yes i knew that was knowledge. and something has been transmitted.. it is 3:30 PM

all i can say for this moment is, what's in a name?

Save me father from the ocean of darkness of doubt.l Save me from doubt. Doubt is the one who will drag you down in the end if you cannot love your father.. you MUST learn to love your perfect father or doubt will eat you for dinner and go on digesting you forever.. you need to KNOW and LOVE YOUR PERFECT FATHER!!!

you really need to know him, he is good and life without him is so bad. you must know and love and appreciate and admire with all of your heart and all of your mind and all of your body, and ALL of your HEART. you cannot close your heart against the perfect father who made you to love and be loved by. Life is simple fathers have sons so that they can love them,.., it never needed to be any more complicated than that.. you have complicated your life beyond the point of being able to recognize the perfection of the first thing that we all should have considered as potentially meaningful in life.

can we please awaken these poor asleep people and alert them to the dire nature of their situation?>>> or is their arrogance past the point of ever being able to humble themselves before the simple perfection that they completely overlooked, who just couldnt even bring themselves to consider what life would be like it fathers actually loved their sonS? Satan, the father who refuses to love his son, is SO much more popular than the father who loves his son!!!! where did these people come from???? what anti-universe did they rise out of, that they hate love and love hate?

these things called adults who take sweet, beautiful, innocent, playful, gentle, vulberable and happy children and put them into re-programming camps so that they can become what they should have been in the first place,,, sexually repressed "adults"! which way was reality spinning for those people when they got made,, the direction that alcohol spins them?? oh, now that would make some sense.

if the christ wasnt willing to believe he was the christ he couldnt be the christ... are people hoping that doubting thomas will be replacing Jesus as their savior???

*****(*

goodness is enthusiastic. our holy father is a very enthusiastic man.

$$$$$

the perfect holy father looks for and finds the boy whose heart is open enough to masturbate and fantasize with him,,, and on the story goes from there... to it's great moment of fulfillment of the plan of the most magnificent father who ever could be,,, the perfect and only father. the father who exceeds all of his billions of children in his goodness. what more could any boy possibly wish for than the perfect father??? there is nothing more worthy of a wish, than the wish for a perfect father! and i dare say, how could it possibly not be the wish of a perfect father to have at least one perfect son out of billions? i am talking about perfection and boys and fathers masturbating together in the same paragraph.... in the same idea. it's the idea of perfection manifest. there is nothing higher in any world or universe that THAT perfection. that IS perfection. i mean, not HUMAN perfection, just plain ol, if you've got a vacuum that you want to fill with perfection, this is what you come up with... that's what i am talking aobut... thank you for listening.

******

WHAT? I am the perfect son of the perfect father?? how could this possibly be/?? how can this possibly be?

i know!

it's because he is sincere and i am sincere., that is all.. he is enthusiastic, i am enthusiastic, that is all. he is simple i am simple, that is all. he is willing, i am willing, that is all. he is genuine, i am genuine, that is all. he is generous, i am appreciative, that is all. he wants to give, i'm willing to recieve, that is all. he is gentle, i am gentle that is all, we are just gentle men that is all. we are just what truly gentle men are. he is humble, i am humble, and so together we can actually accomplish something, unlike the arrogant people who would destroy what we accomplish.

******

men, do you know what a man is when he's put off all of his armor, opened his heart, and become what a man really is???

well, no, you dont have any idea, actually. I am pretty darn close to being exactly that, and i can't say i can describe exactly what it is myself, except to say that it's REALLY REALLY LOVING!!! and really really sexy. but that's all i know... i haven't quite fathomed how loving and sexy, or wild and crazy, that loving and sexy can be, i think when i do will be the moment i arrive in the temple, because i will have really swooned upon groking just what i am, and swooning is what gets you in, i am supposing, just like it sort of is how you get into what ever it is that you get into on dmt,,, that's the temple no?

i;'m shaking in anticipation of the awesome mind-blowing thing that is about to happen

.! but what i think i am getting an inkling of is the truth that whatever that thing called a man really is, i am that.... and i know that i am willing to be whatever it is, even if i am still in the process of removing the goo of my former resistence, resistance that was imposed upon me by a sickness that i had no part in inventing, even if i did a good job of figuring it out... or maybe i did invent it,,, but now i am removing it.

*******

"meanwhile across the ocean, living in the internet, is the cause of an explosion that no one has heard yet..."

i think i'll start this by saying these four words:

"the horror, the horror."

when you've looked as deeply into the human condition as I have, there are times, and this is one of them, when you just have to exclaim your horror over what you have seen.

Although i have received personal e mails, my primary form of communication, from less than ten people in the past week, in other words, even though i am a virtual nobody, or a pariah at best, what i have to say here is going to cause the greatest cataclysm in the history of the world.

Where shall I start....

I think I will muse just a bit. First, it just so happens that the woman who I believe was the Virgin Mary in a previous incarnation and who is (in a tie with my dear mother) the woman I love most in this world and my very closest friend in this world as well as my lover, told me while I was in the midst of the experience that I am about to describe that she had a larger dose of alcohol tonight that he has ever consumed in this lifetime.

Second, another important person in my life, a man who I regard as a family member and the man, of any man I've ever spoken with, that I admire the most, happens to be the person I know who consumes the greatest amount of alcohol on a daily basis of anyone I have known in this life...

What I have to say is about alcohol, and alcoholism. My friend, who I happen to believe is also an incarnation of a very important biblical figure, Noah, who I am quite confident in saying is very dear to the Creator, likes to drink alcoholic beverages, but in the twentysome years that I have been close to him on a regular basis, I have never seen him in what I would call an innebriated state. This is a man with a strong constitution and an unusually open heart.

I am going to venture a speculation, one that I believe could be confirmed in the coming days through retreival of what I will just call "data" that I believe that certain persons living in this world have access to. I predict that, if it can be known, it will be found that though he likes alcohol and has been what I would call a heavy drinker for all of his adult life, the person to whom I refer has never in this or any previous lifetime innebriated himself with alcohol to the point of passing out. because i believe from knowing this beautiful man that his soul is not in hell, and i believe it would be had he ever passed out on alcohol...

i know someone i will call "grandpa joe" (a very fine fellow) who also likes alcohol, but whose heart is pure, and who i believe is probably also someone who has never fallen spinning into unconsciousness under the influence of alcohol..

I will now cut to the chase and say a few things that I cannot imagine being said without triggering the beginning of the events collectivelty known as the end times in the Holy Bible. The revelations that occured to me last evening and this morning (it is now 2:45 am) and that I will be sharing here came to me while I was in the building that I have been saying for over a year is the temple, the former brewery soon to be chocolate factory in the center of the universe.. I was directed there through an e mail message that I believe came to me from the person who i believe is the living incarnation of "Vishnu" of the Hindu Trinity, and either the Father or the Holy Spirit of the CHristian Trinity.

Here is the most explosive truth ever uttered on the face of this earth, so help me god,,, and please rescue me from the repurcussions of having said this!!!

Alcoholism is the most underrated sickness and alcohol is the most underrated poison in this entire word by a million miles. Alcoholism is a far far more widespread and terrible sickness than people realize and the effects of it are atrocious beyond belief.

The truth that will finally be told so as to be understood and therefore believed, is a truth that has everything to do with alcohol. Everything I have said about mckenna, the temple, alcohol, drunkeness, the alcohol vs psychedelic war, is all so perfectly true, so much moreso than I even fully had groked until tonight...

There are many things I could say right now that would be world-rocking statements. Let's start with this one:

Satan, the true identity of whom I have made amply clear, but just to be on the record one more time, he is a man who presently resides in Seattle, has recently had something of a family law practice, is affiliated with the person who I have said is the antichrist in a law practice, a non-profit organization called The Center for Social Justice and a property of which I am also a former co-owner, located on the shores of the latter day Dead Sea. And he calls himself Prince Rauven. As I have said in the past, this property, known as Shine, is the exact same distance, to within less than one mile, from the Temple in Seattle as the Temple in Jerusalem was from the "Essene Brothers" camp on the shores of the Dead Sea, where I believe the same cast of characters were carrying out the same sick conspiracies two thousand years ago. (This is only the tip of the iceberg of the biblical deja vu that is happening in Seattle at this time. )

Satan is the man who gave this world alcohol and alcoholism, the worst sickness ever to afflict a race of human beings. Satan is the inventor and perpetrator of a terrible conspiracy against his own descendants (I believe he incarnated as Adam), the disease of alcoholism, which is, like the oedipus complex, something that could be called whatever adjective that you would use to associate something with the experience called Hell.

Here is teh coup de grace of this indictment of Satan that I have been developing since the appearance of my first ad in the Seattle Weekly, in which I predicted the assaination of GW Bush (who I called the antichrist) and the ascension to power of GHW Bush (who I saw as Satan) in the aftermath. To this day I submit that the two individuals are acting as proxies for none other than the antichrist and satan at the best of the almighty creator and directed by his relative, Pontifex Maximus, the de facto King of this fallen world.

Alcohol is a terrible terrible evil and the man who is the original and leader promoter of alcohol is the worst criminal in the history of this world... there is a truth about alcohol that I have uncovered through what I will simply call a psychedelic revelation, by which I mean the same thing as if I had used the word "shamanic," that has never been uttered in this world before, and I belive that Satan, the Prince of Darkness, the mastermind of an absolutely astronomically large conspiracy, gambled his immortal soul in hopes that this truth would never be spoken.

Alcohol at sufficient quantities will cause the experience called "passing out" in which the drinker loses conscoiusness in a dizzy swoonb. I am going to define "alcoholism" (i wonder, why does this word end in "ism"?) as a disease that a person could be said to have officially contracted at the moment in time, in the history of their incarnations in this world, when they first had this experience of passing out. And therein lies the truth that had not yet been told until today, alcoholism is a disease that people carry from one life to the next.

Alcoholism is a disease that human beings carry with them from lifetime to lifetime, through a series of incarnations leading up to a moment called Judgement day, by when those who have not overcome the disease of alcoholism will be put in a prison for the rest of eternity. Because human beings live in a temple that is someone's body, and that someone doesn't want alcohol poisoning in his body and will not allow it.

Alcoholism is a disease with a specific beginning - it begins upon losing consciousness in a swoon of sickness and dizziness while under the influence of alcohol- and with a specific ending, which is the exact experience that I have had this evening in "The Terence Mckenna Memorial Temple of the Archaic Revival." The nature of and cure for alcoholism, the very worst disease with which a human being can be afflicted, has been discovered on this day, October 8, 2005, by Jeff Fairhall who has been claiming for approximately two years that he is the living incarnation of the son of the holy trinity.

Here I will describe exactly why this is so.

The reason that human beings can lose consciousness while under the effects of alcohol intoxication is that the experience of alcohol intoxication is so incredibly bad that they black out in order to avoid the experience...

an alcohol drinker who is unwilling to have the experience of the effects on his body caused by the alcohol loses consciousness and becomes an alcoholic, by my definition, in that experience... I want to say that I have had this experience of passing out in this lifetime and yet I never ever have so much as had the thought cross my mind that I might be an alcoholic... I am saying that I, who has consumed relatively very little total alcohol in this life, was an alcoholic until today, when I finally got the cure.. or perhaps I havent finished getting the cure yet, but I found the cure... I have arrived in the immediate vicinity of the cure.

actually, now that i think about it, i believe the cure really occured was the day in november 2003 when i was with satan at shine took a large dose of psychedelics, including, i believe, a mystery drug given to me by satan, which caused me to fall into what i thought of as "hell" but that i now realize is an evil spirit living in the temple of the body, an evil spirit that is the experience of pain in the body that has been imprinted on the collective body, the temple, by the having of the experience of passing out under the influence of alcohol. this is an experience of agony of feeling like you've fallen into hell, but really you've fallen into a sickness living in the collective body, a scikness of alcoholism, which is the unconscious sickness that sets in when a person passes out under the influence of alcohol. the person who poisons their body the most, steals light from the temple of heaven, and brings it down into satan's personal kindgom..

what happens to most people when they have this experience is that they believe for the rest of their lives that their souls are in hell and i believe that such people may come to depend on opiates for relief of an extreme type of anxiety/depression. i believe that it is guilt that causes people to cling to the false belief that their souls are in hell, a belief in a lie called hell that is as prusuasive as the belief in the lie of a material world. both are lies perpetrated by the same liar, satan. mr clean.

this was a decisive battle in the war between the christ and satan, because I defeated the lie of hell, i came out of that bad expeience that traps most people for all of their lives in a false belief that they are in hell. satan knew that his time was coming that night... satan is a master of illusionl.,,, a brilliant masterful liar.

"i never knew a man

could tell so many lies,

he had a different story

for every set of eyes,

how can he remember

who he's talking to

cuz I know it isnt me

and i hope isnt you."

i think those lyrics are from ambulance blues by neil young.

and at the same time, "Noah" who has been a fairly heavy every day drinker of alcohol for longer that I have been alive is not an alcoholic because he has never, in all of his lives, passed out in a dizzy swoon on alcohol.

he's had many a nap under the influence, but he never lost consciousness on alcohol for the reason that he could not bear the consequence of his own drinking.

people who have had this experience in one lifetime have become alcoholics and remain alcoholic throughout successive lifetimes, until they have taken the cure that I have taken. you could say that the souls of alcoholics are in HELL. and that is where they will remain if the cure is not taken,,, and the cure is to go all the way into the pain that you were avoiding when you passed out.

You got really dehydrated in some part of your body, shoulders especially, when you passed out from alcohol poisoning... and dehydration is unconsciousness. you have to feel that suffering that you have caused yourself and have been carrying around with you for a long time.

as i have said elsewhere recently, satan has created an illusion of something called Hell by inducing people into this passing out experience creating an evil spirit in the temple of the body that feels like a demon and is the suffering that the drunk person blacked out in avoidance of. alcohol poisoning is probably the worst experience a human being can have. nothing dessicates teh soul like alcohol. people who carry the sickness oof alcoholism create a sickness that every human being must endure in their own bodies. and the person who is sustianing this world is in a position whereby he cannot live in denial of this suffering in the collective body.

the salvation that the christ offers is really salvation from alcoholism, this mass collective alcohol poisoning. because it is an experience that is so bad that it causes people pass out. but now, in order to get over this disease that everyone has inside their bodies the alcoholics - anyone who's ever passed out in this or any previous lifetime - will have to endure the pain in their own bodies, because that part of the body is in pain, that they avoided by passing out.

every way in which the motion of our bodies is restricted by a sensation of pain when we move beyond a certain positon... all of that pain in the body that limits our range of motion is directly caused by this alcohol sickness to which i refer. the pain, for example, that limits the degree to which a yoga practitioner can get into an asana is caused by alcohol poisoning of the collective body...

all of the pain in your body has alcohol poisoning at its root, regardless of whether you've ever had a drink in this life.

every person must endure the consequences of their actions. this is a law that goes by the name of "justice" and "Karma"

the consequence of alcohol intoxication is suffering, and this suffering MUST be endured,,, you cannot create unconscious suffering in the ttemple,,, sorry...

a human race than succumbs to alcohol is a fallen human race. period.. its poison... it's suicide. it's misery. it has absolutely nothing to give the human race but interminable misery.

is it possible this is a hidden subtext of cortez the killer?
he came dancing across the water, with his gallons of rum, looking for the new world and that palace in the sun... on the shores lay montezuma, with his coca leaves and psilcobybin, in his halls he often wandered with the secrets of the world...

he came dancing across the water, cortez cortez, what a killer...

those who have passed out in a dizzy swoon as a result of the toxic effects of alcohol must endure the suffering that they avoided by passing out. and they must do so in the next seven years, or they will be put to work as a soma-producing slave, nin lieu obeying the law of justice, as far as the keeper of the temple in which they now live is concerned.

satan's conspiracies involve the darkening of the light of the body that is the temple, and he has emplpyed various means of driving the human race into a state of deep denial and unconsciousness. alcohol poisoning is among the major top ten leading stategies employed by satan and his allies in their efforts to cause the enture human race to fall into an experience of unconsciousness. alcohol and opium, these are the drugs of satan,,, alcohol to create an illusion of hell using it to poison people, and therefore the temple, and create a vast region of darkness in the body, and opium to provide relief from the suffering cause by the alcohol poisoning.

satan also uses psyechedelics, including an extremely effective mystery drug that induces a fall into the illusory hell of alcohol poisoning in the body - as a tool of his conspiracy. and pharmaceutical drugs are also a part of his plan to poison the human race into oblivion.

the battle called armageddon could very well be a battle for control of the opium supply between the antichrist and whatever other despot has amassed an empire by that time... people will be desperate for opium after this all gets out. china seems to be a likely adversary in such a war.

amanita muscaria plays a very important role in cure of alcoholism. perhaps indispensible. it takes you there... if you can stay awake and allow your attention to go where it wants to go in the body, amanita will take you all the way to the root of the disease.

amanita is a powerful temple cleanser. as are cannabis and psilocybin in their own ways.

alcohol is a powerful temple polluter, as are pharmaceuticals.

another way of saying all of this is, if you dont like the effect of amanita, its because you have the alcohol poisoning sickness and you don't want to go down into the experience of it.

if cannabis makes you feel a little bit paranoid, that's the alcohol sickness not wanting to be felt, because cannabis makes you feel it and you do not like it... it feels like Hell... it feels like an evil demon living inside of you that you are afraid of... it's natural to be afraid of it,,, i am afraid of it,,, but the conquering of that fear and turning toward that which is feared, a sickness of dehydration, darkness and unconsciousness, is the cure for the sickness, because it brings water, light and consciousness to the places in the body that have been seriously dessicated...

see, i am taking the disease out of the temple, and so now all you will have is your own disease to deal with, i am taking this sickness out of the temple that is the template in the collective experience that your sense of having a body is based on.

i have been using that word "template" and now i see it. look at that word and it's obvious relationship to the word "temple." who on planet earth has ever noticed that? the temple is indeed the template of the body.

i wonder... there is the body in the temple, and only "men" are in the temple, by the way, because the temple is the glans, and only men can go there... (i am intuiting this) but perhaps there is only one body in truth, and everyone else has a soul that is like a grey, just the sort of core of a human being down to the level of breath and preceding sexuality,,, and that really there is only one true male human body that is the temple, and the rest is an illusion of actually having a body... i dunno, on some deep level this may be somewhat in the direction of truth, its something i havent comprended yet, but there are dimensions and we express ourselves in different ways in different dimensions.. like, there is a reptilian aspect to what we are, they say we have a reptilian brain, right? so maybe there is a dimension of reality in which WE express ourselves as reptiles, or as greys on another level, or as angels on another level or as people on another level...

it may be what is suggested by the different races in lord of the rings...

by the way, the lord of the rings is an allegory in which there are two opposing forces,,, and so many of the millions of people who call themselves fans of the trilogy, are actaully aligned with the forces of darkness that are represented by the dark force in that story, those who have thrown their lots in with alcohol, doubt, oedipus, unconsciousness...

and really i am sure tolkien would agree with my characterization of the story that he is telling in his incredible trilogy as an epic war between people who use psychedelics and have an infinite experience on one side and people who use alcohol and prefer not to have an infinite experience (because of wanting to harbor darkness) on the other, and he would agree with my characterization of his story as a very profound allegory of a struggle between Heaven and Hell.

Tolkein will either appear reincarnated or he will have left a record somehow of his understanding that The war between heaven and hell that his story is a very precise allegory of, is a war between the proponents of psychedelics and the proponents of alcohol.

and Terence McKenna is John the Baptist and he foretold of the coming of the messiah, the one who unlocks the secrets and brings the cure for the sickness of alcohol that is leading the human race into the abyss of Hell... Alcohol is the scourge of the Human race it is the curse that SAtan bequeathed upon a race of six billion of his own descendants. and terence mckenna is the one who said, in so many words, that alcohol is the drug of hell and that psycedelics are the drug of heaven, and he foretold the end of the world that would resolve this struggle.n

dominator and partnership were tmckenna's substitute terms for hell and heaven, but he knew exctly what he was talking about.

i'd bet my ass and everything i own that mckenna was john the baptist... but no one will take me up on any of my offers of wagers re the truth of what i say.... dont know why i am so in love with this idea, but it is so compelling to me...

***********************

I do believe that tobacco is an evil much like alcohol, in that there is an exremely foul aspect of the experience of cigarette smoke (and it may or may not be the additives that cause this effect) that smokers have such an aversion to that they have blocked it out, again creating conditions of disease, unconsciousness and dehydration in the body... i quit smoking tobacco - yes i smoked through twenty years of chronic depression caused by the fall into unconscious while under the influence of alcohol, a sickness that i recovered from as a result of using psilocybin, cannabis amanita - about a year ago, and i still get whiffs of ash tray smell coming out of my body when i go deep into teh sickness in my body, which i noticed again last night while having the very strong and deep amanita cleanse that brought these revelations.. everything that is known be known, because the knowledge of it lives somewhere in the body and can be accessed.

i smoked as away of dealing with stress in business - dealing with the "abominations" of this world that i feel i have had little to no part in fostering - and i believe that this sort of behavior simply buries the stress in the part of the body that goes unconscious because of the aversion to the tabacco experience... tabacco thus becomes, like alcohol, an escape, whereby we hide suffering in our body, and bury a part of our self in dungeon of unconsciousness as a result.

i still believe that the experience of teh extremely acrid flavor of MINT may also be so bad as to cause unconsciousness. things like alcohol, anything that is "poison" is just a substance that is causing an experience that the poisoned person has an aversion to... maybe if you could allow yourself to fully HAVE the experience of mint, just like looking at sun it is an INTENSE experience, it wouldnt taste bad,,, but its just the intensity of the flavor is overwhelming, and so it tastes, 'bad" and so we block out the experience of it and we carry the ghost of that experience in our bodies until we go back and purge that sickness out by bringing light, water and consciousness to it by allowing ourself to feel it, and cannabis and friends, and water and meditation are what it takes to do that.

********

the line between intuition and imagination is very subtle in my opinion... for example, am i just imagining that the name of Kierkegaard is anathema to the Creator of this world, or is this a miraculous intuition? it is one or the other... if it is true, there is no way that anyone could reasonably claim that i just got lucky.

am i correct that alcoholism is a disease that a person carries from life to life as I say, or is this idea simply and only a figment of my imagination???

one thing i could say is, great minds imagine a like... my imagination just might be so much LIKE the creator's imagination, since i am an un corrupted chip off the old block of the creator, that my imagination and my intuition are more or less the same thing. i am just intuiting how the creator might have imagined things in the first place, because i can see its how i would have done so.\

anyway, one of the many things that my extremely active imagination/intuition is leading me to believe, is that the machinations of Islam are geared to a "post-apocalyptic" future that the leaders of Islam know for a fact is coming soon. The leaders of Islam know that they are shepherds of a flock of lost souls who will not be able to do what it takes to join the nation of israel and so attain salvation..,.

satan, who is associated with the USA (since pontifex maximus carries out the will of satan through his control of the USA federal gvt), and with the state (as oppsoed to nation) of Israel aka babylon, and he wants to control the opium that's the whole point, and he uses his "son" the antichrist to run things, to be the king... satan is the king maker of the evil empire, just as the almighty creator is the kingmaker fo the good empire,

and so that is the antichrist in THIS incarnation, he's in an alliance with satan,, its PoppY and george w., "POPPY" the father and kingmaker behind the scenes controlling the opium on behlaf of satan... and they seem to be in conflict with the descendants of teh antichrist in an earlier incarnation, the arabs..

basically, there is the nation of israel, there is Babylon, that's satan's sons, and then there's islam, that's the spawn of cain and allah's sickness of failed incest, the oedipus complex writ large, and then there's india and the buddhist countries, who seem to me to be more aligned with god than with his enemies, and then there are the rest of the nations like china and japan and africa and europe and russia,,

and i think, as i have said, birds of a feather flock together, nations are groups of souls sorted out by sickness. for example, russia may be a nation of alcoholics BY DESIGN,,,the male population of Russia could consist entirely of people who have succumbed to alcoholism... this may be true throughout europe..

there is probably some underlying sickness like this in the case of many nations.

and so they- islam - are preparing for that scenario., and i believe that the geopolitical objectives of islam may be to control the opium trade in the aftermath of the truths that i am exposing are revealed to the world. there will most certainly be a great demand for opiates in the near future... and islam may be maneuvering in such a way as to position itself to have have access to or control of opium,,, and again, the battle of armageddom may well pertain to a struggle for control of the world's opium supply which is almost entirely located within the Islamic zone of influence.. nations will fight wars unto death and beyond over access to opium.

nations... we are going to be learning a lot about what a nation is.... i believe that cain/ishmael/oedipus/the antichrist is indeed the father of many nations, not only the arab nations...

it appears to me that history may be a succession of instances of a scenario that looks like this:

The gods and their allies arrive in a new place and build a temple and develop a flourishing culture, cain and allah come to make war on and parasitize this culture, and eventually the gods move on and take their lovers with them, and cain and allah come in to take over and suck the remaining life out of it... so the gods establish the infrastructure and then cain and allah move in and start propagating another nation of their spawn.

it appears with the recent occurance of the notion that nero was cain, that Rome was allowed to fall into the hands of cain and allah.. and i believe that constantine was teh one who took control back on the side of the gods, he probably being an incarnation of jed green. the true pontifex maximus. (i still believe that the definition of pontifex maximus entails control of the opium trade. i am no less convinced about what ive said in the past about the connection of the opium business to the existence of satan's "experience of hell" , satan and the struggle of good and evil.

the illusion of hell is caused by alcohol poisoning... the true hell is the "physical" place (as physical as this world is anyway) where the people who live in bondage to this illusion and who are unwilling to take the cure for the sickness caused by alcohol poisoning are incarcerated.

there may be many nations that have come into being in more or less this fashion..

there is a temple of light

and there is a temple of darkness.

you will live forever in one or the other.

what could motivate a war with two hundred million combatants as i believe is prophesized by revelations?

there is an obvious answer to this question... the same thing that has gotten armies marching against one another for four thousand years... the need for opium to alleviate the suffering of alcohol poisoning in the body of one who has become conscious of this suffering in his body, but is unable to cleanse it..

this is more or less what control of opium is all about... satan's plan, simple: create a sickness in the body that is the temple by getting people to drink to the point of unconsciousness, and then induce the fall into that experience in the collective body with psychedelic, and then use the access to opium which relieves this suffering to control the subject to make him a slave who will d oanythng for his depraved master..

if i am correct, i will be the first person in history to come up with that scenario through "intuition." or maybe you could say, imagination... i just kind of made it up because it makes sense with everything else i made up.

i am the first person ever to "make up" such a vastly complex narrative of what reality really consists of that fits together like an intricate jigsaw puzzle.

and the whole story is made completely out of the whole cloth of imagination..... i mean, affirmation from any authority of any kind about any of the novel things i have said have has come only in the past two days (since i have been getting e mails from someone who i believe is neil young) with only one exception i can think of, the revelation of a bible code prophecy of hte end of the world in 2012, which came long after i had adamantly insisted that the world ends in 2012,,, so pretty much i imagined the whole thing up, just like sherlock holmes the solution to a crime... in a sense i am a shamanistic detective... i have detected things in the subliminal realms of experience that most people have just blocked out because they are sinful and that's where they hide their conscience.

amazing how readily a human being will make itself into a demon.

any man who has ever fallen into unconsciousness while under the influence of alcohol in this or any previous lifetime is depressed, and therefore has an aversion to psychedlic experience, because men are in denial of their depression, they are pretending not to be depressed.

definition of demon: a man who is denial of the fact that he is depressed.

sing a song for freedom, sing a song for love,

sing a song for depressed angels, falling from above,

greendale is all about alcohol, the depression it causes and the struggle between the gods who invent and sustain reality and who use psychedelics, and the fallen angels who have succumbed to the sickness of alcoholism.

just like all of the other stories that i - and joseph campbell- name as allegories about the hero and his journey and the saga of the struggle of the finite and the infinite, between truth and the darkness of lies, between love and hatred, between joy and misery, between consciousness and unconsciousness,

jai sat chit anand. victory to truth consciousness and bliss... i dont think many premies realized that they were talking about a war in which their master was about to claim complete victory. some of those "premies" may be on the unfortunate losing side of that war... based on the aversion that many of them seem to have to what i talk about, it would appear to be the case. as maharaji used to say, "you can drag a horse to water, but you cant make 'em drink it."

human beings insist on believing that they are so much less than what they are... and like cain they will fight to protect their puny idea of themselves. they insist that their existence is four dimensional when it is really six dimensional - or however many - its like we have limited ourselves by orders of magnitude... there are experiences that anyone can have right now that no one is having just beause they persist in denying those experiences or the dimensions of consciousness, the realms of the body, really, in which those experiences as sitting waiting to be had, as soon as the person can break out of the shell, and it is a brittle shell tht you break out of, brittle, inflexible, unpliable, unmaleable, rigid, dessicated shell of unconsciousness and lies and false self-limiting concepts.

in the vein of birds of a feather and nations, it occurs to me the the natve american indians may have been where men who had already succumbed to alcoholism were, how shall is say,,,, placed, in order that they would not have access to alcohol, those peoples' not having developed any technology for even brewing beer.

and so when alcohol arrives on the scene massive fall into alcoholism. since the powers that were in teh USA back them were aligned with pontifex maximus, who is knowledgable on such matters, and since the USA gvt did not exhibit much conern with the health or well being of the indians, it may be that they were regarded as people who, since they had fallen so far as to be entirely unable to handle alcohol, had little hope in the world that they knew was coming in which alcohol would now be available to them,,, it's like they may have known in advance that these people would succumb to massive alcohol addiction and that efforts to help them woudl be fritless in an environment in which alcohol is availabel.

this of course flies in the face of PC, and i am not saying i believe in this scenario, but i am offering it as a theory that to my knowledge has never been considered. there is a lot to like about the image of native people living in a pristine environment without a lot of technology, but perhaps there is a deeper story. if indians were at war with one another, which there seems to have been a bit of that going on, it indicates to me that as idyllic an image as we may have, these are nevertheless souls who have fallen into an idea about life that allows for violence and war, and there is nothing superior evident in any culture that engages in warfare for any reason other than self defense.. and both sides in any war cannot legitimately claim self-defense as justification.

whether or not i am correct that he is elton john, whoever captain john green is, he is someone who neil young knows personally and who is a part of the same family and who is neptune, and who is or at least was ambivalent about the whole idea of heaven, ambivalent about the whole idea of allowing mortals human beings to exist at all since SO MANY fail... its like captain says, "if stood in my shoes your eyes would be glazed.." its ambiguous exactly who says that, but it sounds like someone questioning as i say, whether or not jupiters plan is a good idea... anwyay the comments of neil young regarding captain john green in his bio on neil's website suggests that he is sort of poking fun at whoever captain john green really is. he makes it clear that there is a family disagreement.

and i can testify that saturn is also ambivalent, or again at least was, because my father aw fairhall WAS saturn and he was very depressed about teh human race, having said to me, "it's an experiment that has failed" a sentiment based on his real true knowledge of things that only gods know.

it is said that there is a controversy in heaven about this very matter, and my own experince of my father, and the relationship between captain john green and the rest of the green family sugggests this.

it's like neptune is a god who is off in his own world "offshore" in his boat, just watching.

of course there is no doubt that this is just one iteration of a story that plays itself out over and over. and in each instance, the people in the roles of neptune and saturn probably have their doubts about the situation,,, and of course in each case "Jupiter" shows up to make things balanced, and pluto is the one who plays the role of adversary.

did not feel a need to sleep at all last night,, and my appetite for food is diminishing rapidly. the last two attachments are food and sleep... i remember hearing that maharaji had siad that.

sleep is how we deal with the disease of unconsciousness that we carry in our bodies. we go unconscious so that our darkened consciousness can rest there,,, or something like that. instead of sleep human beings are intended to spend nights loving and playing, having fun enjoying being alive together... there is so much eroticism in a fully awakened human existence that sleep becomes a thing of the past... sleep is a remedy for a disease that we get over on our way into heaven, into immortality. people sleep because they are tired...and the fatigue is a symptom of a sickness. i dont believe it is inherent to human beings to spend a third of their existence in a completly unconscious state..

this idea has been just creeping up on me little by little... chocolate, as in chocolate factory IS soma

and the first casualty of the brats is the greedy fat one who wants to help hiself to the soma ... that's like the beast.. the one who breaks into the temple and tries to steal the soma itself. so he gets sucked into the bowels of the soma-making factory, by virtue of his and willie wonka's respective karmic circumstances..

i've wondered if mike TV relates to grandpa's "it aint an honor to be on tv"

i guess you could say i am putting on a little show to demonstrate what the liberated psychedelic mind is capable of.. there are a lot of connections... there is lot that is subliminal.. look at all of the miracles! what alcohol drinker has come up with ANY of what i have come up with? teh psychedelic people toy with the alcohol people..reality is made the way it is so that some will volunteer to be the ones to be thrown into the volcano.. and alcohol sort of provides a mechanism by which people volunteer for this role. "the volcano" is just the experience of severe depression that people end up having and that becomes half of the somatic exchange that resolves karma. .

there is a part of the male human anatomy called "the heart" wherein direct contact between a man and his father/creator is made.. this is the true home. we cannot exile ourselves from our true home within the temple. it's there, he is there, waiting for me, while i continually get distracted by anything ande verything..

the ultimate experiences ARE sublime, involving subtlty, by definition, the more subtle, the more consciousness you have awakened in order to have the experience, therefore the more life and the more of what you want fmor life, more soma... more joy.. the sublime is where the joy is, joy is not found in the brutish celebration of a beer-inebriated football crowd as a touchdown is being scored, that is not a sublime experience. there is no joy in being the winner in some computer game, that is not a sublime experience, but feeling god's presence in our body, feeling the entirety of breath is sublime and therefore joyous because it fulfills teh definition of happiness, which is to experience the love and joy that we are made of.

joy is a feeling that comes with experiencing a sublime experience that otherwise has slipped away into unconsciousness, because it requires the acticvation of our consciousness which is the stuuf of bliss. the less sublime the experience, the more ludicrous the claim that it brings happiness. riding on a personal watercraft is not a source of happiness, because it does require or entail focusing ones attention on attention itself, which is the ultimate sublime experience. far from it, this is the sort of brutish pleasure that is rampant BECAUSE the human race is on the precipice of falling permanently into the sickness of alcoholism and it's denial.

the pleasures of the human race are crass because people have all shut out the sublime because they are in denial of things that they couldnt be in denial of if the allowed themselves to have a sublimne experience.

jai sat chit anand!! now, finally, i can say that and feel like i know what i am saying... jai sat chit anand, vctory to the perfect master whose perfect plan is for a world of truth, consciousness and bliss for those willing to accept this perfect blessing.

people will only have themselves to blame for falling into satan's traps. by falling into them, they are demonstrating their willingness to be like him.

its like, people, all we are really talking aobut here is quality of life. forget all of the religious crap, its just about life and how to enjoy it and the pitfalls that cause a vast majority of the human race to be miserable in spite of perfectly equipped for perfection, for perfect happiness. this human race had made itself miserable by polluting the temple of the body and turning into a dark festering pit of misery and unconsicousness.

there is a better alternative, and those who wont participate in that better alternative will have to figure things out for themelves, because the people in charge are into justice, and justice dictates that self destructive people who wish to create misery not be allowed to drag people who are willing to live joyfully and healthfully down into their hell of unconsciousness and sickness with them.

*****

how could a person be all knowing? by surrendering into teh experience of existence to the point of ALLOWING himself to know everything. mckenna talked about pscyehdelics as having the attribute of dissolving boundaries. the boundery between self and other being the primary boundary that can and does get dissolved as people awaken to the nature of reality and its perfection.

Abomination is a word that has suddenly worked its way into my working vocabulary

I have been describing abominations, the use of alcohol as an intoxicant by human beings being one major one. Pharmaceutical drugs. ANything that flies in the face of the presence in our midst of the loving and generous creator who made us is an abomination.

teh idea of adulthood is an abomination. So much of what passes for human life is abomonination.

the food people eat is abominable. meat, eggs and dairy from animals raised and proceseed under conditions of severe inhumanity is an abomination, an expression of extreme disrespect for the very source of life itself.

(the deeper i go in this experience, the more i agree with"the christian right" with just about everything,)

royalty is incestuous because it is royalty... in the truest sense of the word.

i am royal, therefore i am incestuous.

in its true sense royalty is superiority.. royalty is psychedelic. royalty is enlightened.

the true rulers of this world have ALWAYS been the psychedelic and incestuous royalty that created it.

the good are powerful, by definition, by design. the human being is DESIGNED in such a way that the good inherently are more powerful than the weak. Weakness and evil are pretty one and the same. which makes for a pretty lopsided outcome of the game of life... the weak are made weak by the consequence of their evil... crime absolutely does not pay... the guy with the gold who makes the rules is the one who is impeccable in his goodness end of story.

if there was just one world like this one, and there was no god, the guy who perfects himself WILL END UP WITH ALL OF THE CARDS. you dont need a theology to come up with that, you just need to know what a human being really is,,, "know thyself" said perhaps the wisest man to ever walk the face of this earth...

Prem Rawat rules this world whether he is the deity or not, he didnt give himself any advantage, he plays by the same rules as everyone else, but he wins and wins and wins, whether there is just this world or an infinite number of worlds, Prem Rawat rules one or all because he is perfectly good..

i know, i know... king oedipus and his mother try to make a go of royalty too,,, but that's bogus royalty, I'm not talking about bogus, i'm talking about the real thing. real life, real revelry, real quality, real getting something out of life, real joy, real ecstasy, real love, real truth, real honesty, real trustwothiness, real sincerity, real humility, real open-heartedness, real beauty, real lovemaking, real incest, real family, real brotherhood, real father and son hood, real brother and sisterhood, real sisterhood, real perfection, not all the bogus crap that passes for authentic life among the imbibers of alcohol.

i guess all of that reality is just a little bit too overwhelming for some folks... oh well, that's fine with the lotus eaters.

i think about apologizing for being such a smart ass sometimes, but at this stage of the game, i think i'm pretty much had it with being too careful about just telling it like it is.. this is a human race that sort of could use a slap in the face to wake them up, if you know what i mean.....

i wish i could doodle instead of type, it would be more expressive of how i feel... imagine people spend their lives interacting with this screens and keyboards sitting in chairs all day long, staring at a small flat object and totally engrossed in the manipulation of utterly meaningless symbols... i mean talk about a genie clinbing a pole,,,, ii mean men will reduce them themselves to ANYTHING, any inane thing that they can become in order to avoid opening their hearts, including scurying like a rat down into a dark hole for the rest of eternity.

I, on the other hand, would be more than happy to be watched squirming in ecstasy and masturbating with my father and my brothers in plain view for all to admire and glorify. and if and when that's what you want in life, brother, you got no secrets to conceeeeeal!!!!!! how does it feeeeeel??? unbelievably good. how good does it feel to experience the totality of a breath? unbelievably good. how good does it feel to love the person who gave you that breath??? unbelievably good.. how good does it feel to love the person whose love you love with? in other words whose love is the source of whatever love you are feeling? unbelievably good.. i am sorry for those who are menaced by love, but the love that i am talking about is indescribably powerful and beautiful and i have little doubt that the very sight of it will cause some kind of cataclysmic reaction, something like whatever you would call a sudden world-wide epidemic of a really really bad depression, of breakdown of a deeply diseased state of denial of reality, a complete collapse of the very foundations of people's existence as closed-hearted cheaters and deceivers. the end of the world comes, automatically, if people can only witness the love that sustains them - their very breath!!! - and this world. COMPLETE instantanious and cataclysmic breakdown of all human systems of civilazation will result the moment that this world witnesses the truth of its own existence, if it ever does, which i have no way of knowing for sure what happens from here, all i know, is i think im going to be back in the temple soon... .i have a feeling ya'll might be waiting for me, wondering when i am going to just shut up...

like i said,,,, sometimes i have to go and look at my site after i put something up, just to witness the amazing and unprecedented appearance of some of the most amazing words that have ever been expressed in this world., the previous paragraph, for example.

how could reality NOT be more or less what i describe??? what exists is just what a person capable of imagining happiness would come up with... what is, is highly refined, but if you refined- optimized - any idea of happiness to the point of it actually working, and then continued to optimize as long as improvements were possible, it just might end up looking exactly like this. in other words, what is is the most highly advanced system for generating and multiplying the experience of happiness that could possibly exist. it's a complete package... and its got a perfect name among its perfect attributes, and a perfect master of reality to go with it.. and that perfect name that goes perfectly with the perfect reality that generates the perfect amount of perfect happiness for as many people as are willing to pariticipate in perfection, and everyone worships the perfection and the master of it who has made this gift of perfection available to all of his blessed children... and though many decline, those who accept and recieve his eternal blessings are grateful beyond the point of ever forgetting how grateful they are... what a blessing!

and i think of poor ben and how he really just doesnt like the idea of bowing down in worship of the deity who made him if he is expressing himself in a form that is the same as his own form.. he will happily take a female god (he already has, her name is allah), or he'd probably be OK with like some mythical sort of god like the elephant god,,ganesh... but not a father... he cant deal with having been made by something like himself, even though everything else appears to be made by things like themselves, including his own son... but for whatever reason, ben just cant deal with loving a father who is his maker, which is what father is.

of course ben has somthing to hide, that's all, hopefully be will get over it..

the many acorns that fail to become trees nourish the trees that their few brothers and sisters did become...

and thus turns the wheel of eternity, as the good and the evil, the strong and the weak, reap their respective harvests.

you have to give an allowance to satan for the fact that they ONLY possible hope of defeating perfect goodness had to be perfect depravity, because it wasn't going to be a lesser version of goodness that was going to defeat goodness, so if he wanted to be a deity, even if he had what most people would call "perfectly good intentions" his decision to attempt a rebellion in order to usurp the rightful deity, he had no choice but to go the route of absolute depravity, because a lesser depravity would fail against perfection and he knew it...

i think he must have known from the beginning that he was doomed to fail, but i dont know how blinded by hubris he really is... but nevertheless, his only conceivable hope was to engage in a no hold barred go at being evil. and man, did that guy come up with a dousy,,, like he always does.