Oct. 6.2 (74)

october 6.2

there is love, the primordial thing, which is a feeling, and its the feeling that human beings come closest to in the experience in the moment of orgasm.

and then there is something that best and most powerfully senses and EXPRESSES love and its called "male human being" and it has this organ called a cock that is used in the expression of this love, and there is a relationship between fathers and sons involving the feeling of love, the male human body, and that thing that feels good when the feeling of eros, of erotic love (that's a redundancy, love IS erotic in nature) is being experienced. fathers and sons can get really really turned on in an experience of LOVE>

i know this is a turn off for people... because it IS a huge turn off to think of sinful men being lovers in this way, because they cannto really love... in order for a man to love, he has to overcome his sinful nature, which involves repentence and forgiveness of sins and rebirth into the pure heart OF A CHILD... adult men being lovers is a travesty in the eyes of god in my opinion, becuase adult men are in and of themselves a travesty inthe eyes of god, he having never intended that they stop being children in their hearts. if anyone says that i promote homosexuality is wrong, i promote sinlessness and the expression of love that comes naturally when a male human being overcomes sin, which is simply hiding transgressions rather than apologizing and making amends and being forgiven. i do not promote the idea that men who live in sin should have sexual relations, i do feel that the christian right is correct in saying that god abhors this. but christians msturbating together in worship of god??? that is not "sex," that is worship.

if and when you comprehend the beauty and goodness of the Lord of everythig who created you, and who is lord because of his perfect goodness and not for any other reason, you WILL want to worship him in the way i describe, so dont worry about needing to make yourself express in a certain way, just have the experience of comprehending god's goodness, and you will experience being a different and much happier and free-er person who naturally worships his perfect lover and god in the way that he is designed for this, the most perfect experience that a man can have. . i give a lot of emphasis to worship and WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE in reality, and so people could find it freaky because i am talking about an experience of worship that only occurs after you has gotten over a really bad disease that you are in denial of suffering from. its the disease of SOMEONE else's resistence to this very experience, that someone being named the Beast.

fathers and sons who have the hearts of children, who do not hide sins, who have nothing to conceal, who are perfect, can and do, without exception, enjoy being lovers with one another. your aversion to this idea is just a symptom of your disease of lies called adulthood, and rather than deny the truth that i speak, you would be far better off if you open your heart and let all of your demons fly away when you let the light in. then you can know the happiness that at this point in time sounds creepy to you. it sounds creepy because you have things creeping around inside of you that would be brought to light by such a love... get rid of the creepy crawlies living in your body, and the idea of celebrating life, celebrating the love of a lover and father named Fuck him and with your fathers and sons and brothers, will be the most exquisite pleasure you can possibly imagine.

i thought i had some issues with my father in this life, those mostly being that i didnt feel that he gave much as a father due to what seemed like a chronic case of withdrawl and depression. only recently have i come to the belief that his depression had something to do with knowing what a father really is, and knowing that in this world it was not possible to be what a father is made to be, which is a lover of his sons. he was a very rare man who knew the purpose of human life, but lamented the failure of the human race to fulfill this purpose.

so my father, who i beleive was an incarnation of the roman god saturn, lived with knowing that he could not be or even talk about what a father is. he wanted to be that because he knew that there is a lot of love in it.

my name is fairhall, and i believe fairhall is a name associated with the temple and my father, aw fairhall, was saturn, the founder of this temple, he's the one who arrives on the scene in the temple first. so he's like a patriarch in a very real sense, both of the temple, of this human race and of the "fairhall" family. i'd be interested who else in this world with the name Fairhall is associated in some way with the Temple, besides me and my dad and brother, who is also in the green family tree as Carling Green.

if my theory is correct then rawat and fairhall are both important names among people who have allegiences to the temple. recently i've had some confirmation regarding the importance of the name rawat, which i wont say any more about at this time. i am very curious to be with my biological father, who by the way, i once had a glimpse of in a vision that i was given of the temple on amanita once... he looked in my image as if he were in a comatose state, as if it was his body in the temple but he was somewhere else.,. anyway, i am very anxious to learn more about my father and what his experience in this life was and also to know if he has found relief from his sorrow over the human condition, which i believe he may have felt responsible for as the father of satan and jupiter, who sort of enabled the whole saga to begin that ends with perhaps billions of souls doomed to hell as a result of their failures... he regarded human kind as a failed experiment, which seems to me to be the absolutely ultimate saturnian thing to believe... and i hope that he has come to an understanding of the inevitability of people having an opportunity to exist and that this is just what reality is, and always will be and the whole thing is perfectly managed to the best possible outome by JUpiter, who saves everything from disaster resulting from satan's bad attitude, his ego.

his first son, pluto, is beautiful and talented but is full of himself and wants to be the god, the focus of worship in the temple, because he thinks he's the hottest male human being who could ever be, and then jupiter shows up and he's just the opposite, really sweet and humble, and he becomes the god by virtue of his goodness. and neptune (i dont have a clue about neptune other than that i believe he is captain john green who lives off shore and doesnt come into greendale, kind of seems like a grumpy character...

i think maybe what it is is like this.

I am saying Jupiter is the almighty god whose true name is Fuck... satan is pluto, and then there's neptune the other brother... and the conflict is really between pluto and jupiter, fighting over who is going to control reality, and greendale is the people allied with jupiter, the nation of israel.. so maybe neptune is biding his time watching to see how it all turns out... because he doesnt know, because jupiter is the one running the show really, and only he knows how it all turns out, and neptune doesnt know for sure who is going to win, so he is staying out of it.. the other thing about neptune is that i have this strange thought, i wouldnt put any money on this particular one, but just this crazy idea that maybe elton john is neptune... its just one of those things i wanna say, just for the heck of it. i still feel that elton john is an important character in teh whole saga. so i am not sure what there is to know about neptune

*****.

whatever experience you are having in any moment of your existence, without exception, is made of the same stuff, which is the love of a person named Fuck. therefore the NAME of everything that you expereince is Fuck... any experience, if you accept and allow the truth that the stuff that it is made of is Fuck's love, and you name that experience Fuck in your mind, you will be completely free of all darkness. it's that simple... you just need to know and love the creator, through his name, in everything you experience... and perfect peace is yours, if you believe in his name, and you believe (TRULY BELIEVE DEEP DOWN IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS) that he is perfect and you accept that by virute of his good karma, everything that exist is owned and controlled by him, and that he completely loves you,,, you will be completely free and immortal... because you will longer give credence to the lies that reality is other than as you have accepted...

there is no sickness, there is no suffering, there is no death, their is no misery when you recognize the perfect lover the perfect father's love in everything.. it something you can FEEL its the feeling of soma, which is happiness... it fills you up with a warm secure feeling that is mind blowingly real,,, its like your body is suddenly filling up with whipped cream.,, or its like you realize that you are made of whipped cream.,, it's like that.,, you feel full of something really good, which is the love of the perfect lover named Fuck.

and that happiness, i feel compelled to point out, that extra full and good feeling of soma comes at the expense of those who, if they had their way, would have prevented anyone and everyone from having this experience of fulfillment. the price they pay for opposing fulfillment is PROVIDING the fulfillment in the form of the soma that is the transfer of wealth from the enemies of god to his lovers that is inherent in a circumstance such as this in which one group suffers the consequence of their karma and the other reaps their harvest of reward for having purified their karma through the repentence and forgiveness of sin.

how do you give if you have nothing to give, how do you pay off a debt of resitution when you have nothing to pay with? you suffer, and the person who you are making restitution to, someone from a family whose name is Fuck, is the person enjoys the ecstasy that comes to him in a form that is better than money, the real wealth of heaven which is soma, that emerges into the fuck's temple through some sort of vent that is the product of the suffering of those who are making restitution... suffering is how oyu pay restitution after judgment day... if you have unmet restitution obligations, you will be at the mercy of the Final JUdgment, and your payment of restitution will be made in the form of a karmic debt that will never be finally paid off.

that's the punishment for refusing to admit and ask forgiveness for crimes against the gods, who take the brunt of sin and whose supplies of somatic wealth have been diminished as a result of the sins of all men, it is to suffer forever, for the arrogance of someone who is unwilling to admit and ask forgiveness for their transgressions will ruin everything for anyone who lives in any world that they inhabit. someone who insists upon being in defiance of the nature of reality, against the masters of perfection who control everything, and if after being given every opportunity to do so, they adamantly refuse to release themselves from the grips of their own demons of conscience, then they have made themselves irreedeemable, they will ruin any world they inhabit forever, and so they are completely doomed and there is nothing anyone can do about it because they have free will and this is the choice that they made... they have made themselves into enemies of goodness for all time and so their imprisonment MUST be forever, and their torment will be an ever worsening depression as a result of their own sense of complete failure. and thus they will autmomatically be sending payment as soma forever, just because its how human beings are made, its how reality is made. its how something is that exists in the vacuum that nature abhors and so obeys the law of balance. the law of karma.

****

all that stiffness, all that aching in your body, all that stagnation, all that dessication, comes from not going inside of oyur body, from failing to allow you attention to go within and move around inside the temple of the body... because its filled with lies, filled with demons, filled with all of the stuff that you've stuffed under your rugs. it's a disease. its your disease, and you can get over it, you can be purifed and reborn. you can have health, and you will, as long as you do not cling to the idea of hiding things aobut yourself from ANYONE at all. you MUST be will to allow everything about yourself to be seen and known or you are harboring darkness that you will not be able to bring into heaven with you.. you will have to go with the others who want to conceal themselves, who dont want to be completely known.. you MUST vanquish sin... and going within your body with your attention is the way to do that...

i think it's clear that i am saying this, but i've never said it in this way: there are people who operate within what people think of as their unconscious mind. there are evil demons lurking around in there, devils, stealing from the store's of god's goodness.... but all they do is tell lies... they create conditions of sickness that afflict the temple that is the body that we all share, creating the illusion of sickness in each person's body, creating a magnetic field of sickness that serves as a template that everyone gets magnitized by. and people accept this as their condition, rather than being willing to turn the lights on and inspect and get to know their own selves.

and then if they take a couple of tokes and just sit quietly,they start getting spooked by all of those collecctive demons and their own personal ones that they are in denial of, and its very uncomfortable to wake up to stuff that one is in denial of because one is afraid of it, so they distract themselves somehow, to keep their attention away from the disease of dessication in their own bodies where these demons live in the shadows, that the cannabis is trying to help bring healing to... in other words, people's paranoia on cannabis is their resistence to the healing power that this cannabis is offering to them... and so using a sacrament like cannabis that was given to us by god for the purposes of healing so that we can know and be with him, and avoiding the experience that the plant is trying to give you is to abuse a sacred gift from god... that cannabis is for your relationship with god. it is for lhealth, it is for healing, it is not "recreational" in nature... it helps with the true recreation that comes with letting go of ignorance and denial and joining in the festivites, the recreation, of life itself, of celebrating the love of god that everything is made of. the recreation of people who are in denail of god is just more denial, more sickness, more avoidance of the reality of your own condition.

there is a recreation that needs to happen every day.. every day a man needs to come into the temple and purify and return again to the source, to the experience of gods love... that is the true recreation and all celebration and revelry revolves around this... all of it, because its the source of life that we need to honor.. you NEVER pass up an opportunity to be in this experience for something less, for something inferior, for something less fulfilling. its not like you have a choice of going to the temple and loving god with your brothers or going over to the pub to have a few beers and watch some football together,,, because the latter chioce would be a denial of the father and his heart, his feelings. and you would be making a choice to distance yourself from him, from the source... worship is what happens in heaven, because it is the best experience... it's not a rule, its what people do becasue they have fallen in love with perfection. with perfect goodness and perfect beauty... if this doesnt sound good to you, its because you havent fallen in love wtih perfection, you havent tasted worshiping perfection, and this is the explanation for your lack of fulfillment. you worships all kinds of imperfections, really you worship your own imperfection, just like satan does, but you are designed, collective human existence is deisigned for an experience that comes when you worship perfection, not imperfection. losers worship imperfection, winners worship perfection.

you exist and will always exist, because your existence is outside of the finitie idea that includes birth and death.. there is birth, but in truth there is no final death, other than in the eternal experience of the living dead, but the spark of god's perfect love that is you will always exist, even if what you are becomes terminally polluted with the effects of sin... and if you are always going to exist, FOREVER, you need to find something to do that will be fulfilling, because lack of fulfillment in a mortal existence in which you can just make your self numb in the belief that you will be out of your misery soon might seem like a tolerable option, but eternal lack of fulfillment in an existence in which it is impossible to go into a coma, to go into unconsciousness is not a good option... if you are going to become immortal, which you are, whether in an experience of joy or misery, then you really want to find somethng fulfilling to do with yourself for all fo eternity, and this isnt going to be drinking beer and watching football with the boys., it isnt going to be an eternal round of golf that is going to satisfy your thirst... it is not going to be playing video games for all of eternity, or watching poker on TV or riding around on your personal watercraft, or reading newspapers, or standing in line at starbucks, or going to the gym, or taking your four year old kids to the premature adulthood training sessions otherwise known as soccor practice, or sitting arounbd complaining about how miserable you are, your fulfillment is not going to come from having a limitless credit card and wonderful shopping mall to spend the rest of eternity shopping in, fulfillment is not going to come from having a home furnished with all of the finest from martha stewart living, its not going to come from having the perfect swimming pool and barbeque patio in your big back yard, its not going to come from having a satellite television system and theatre size plasma screen TV with an infinite number of stations airing inane programs... these are not things, even a selection of your favorites, that will give you fulfillment.

you cannot imagine an eternal existence for yourself that you will actually want to live through. unless that eternal existence involves first and foremost and primarily worship of the perfect god who made you to be his lover. without that, there is no one in existence who could ever invent an eternal life for himself that he would actually find fulfilling... you cant spend the rest of eternity having a one person conversation in your head,,, talking to no one but yourself, hiding from the one who is your source, the one whose love and care and tenderness you are made of,,, that's not going to be a happy eternity... living in seperation... living in spirtual isolation... you want to be having that conversatoin that you have all by yourself in your head, you want to be having that WITH someone, with someone who loves you completely...

*****

neil young being mercury makes some sense. because mercury is very prominent in the iconogrphy of the USA, so in this moment when the usa is fulfilling the purposes for which it was invented, which is carrying out the will of god, mercury is likely to be either jed or earl green. (this is in continuation of where i left off on (october 6) i realize that i write backwards...